I Want to Stop Sinning, but I Can t! - Sheikh.
By Kamal El Mekki | 2026-01-07T16:24:41.959395+00:00 | Topic: Iman
Why Are They Covered Like That?
Sheikh Kamal El Mekki
Introduction
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, bismillahirrahmanirrahim, alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasoolihi al ameen, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma'een, amma ba'd.
Thanks again for coming everyone. Today's lecture is entitled, "Why are they covered like that?" Obviously it's speaking about Muslim women and it's asking about why hijab, why are the Muslim women covered?
The Problem: Women as Sexual Objects
Realistically in this lecture we're going to be looking at hijab versus a woman not wearing hijab and being recognized or looked at only as a sexual object. This is the situation with women in the West, those who are supposed to be the ones who are liberated and the rest of the Muslim women are supposed to follow them. They're regarded as a sexual object because of the fact that they don't wear hijab or more realistically because they don't dress modestly.
We all know the idea that if, let's say there's a meeting that the woman is running and she walks into the meeting room and she's not wearing good clothing, she's wearing short skirts, she's wearing tight clothing, she's revealing her body. What do you think the men would think of her when she walks in? The minute she walks in, what is the first thing that comes to their mind? Do they think, mashallah she looks intelligent? This is probably going to be a very productive meeting, very intelligent person. Or do you think the first thing they would notice would be her sexuality? How attractive she is, how scantily clad she is, how she's not dressed well.
No doubt everyone knows that they would look at her only as a sexual object and they would not look at her as someone with brains. This is the result of women being portrayed as sexual objects in commercials, in movies, in magazines, on the internet. The result is that people don't see them as humans, they see them first as a sexual object.
Scientific Studies on Objectification
The Brussels University Study
There were many studies that were done in this field, very interesting studies. In the university in Brussels, they did a study using something known as inversion effect. Inversion effect is the human being's inability to recognize faces when the face is turned upside down. So you take a photo of a human being, turn it upside down, and it's harder for people to recognize the person or the individual.
But if you invert an object, they recognize it quickly, it doesn't matter what it is. If it's an object, the minute you turn the picture upside down, you can immediately figure out what it is. But with faces, it's much harder, it's harder for the human being to recognize a face if it's turned upside down.
So at the university in Brussels, they did this study with pictures of men and pictures of women, and they inverted them, turned them upside down. They brought 78 men, and they showed them pictures of men upside down. And it was hard for them to recognize them, because people don't recognize people upside down, so they had difficulty. Then they brought them pictures of women, inverted as well, upside down, and it was very easy for them to recognize the women.
They recognized the women, but they couldn't recognize the men. This study was done by non-Muslims, it wasn't done by a Muslim trying to prove hijab is the truth or anything like that. So they saw that they had no problem seeing a woman upside down and recognizing her quickly, just the same way they recognize an object. So they started to conclude that men view women as an object.
University of Nebraska Studies
Then in the University of Nebraska in the United States, they did the same thing, and their studies are kind of similar, and they showed that men tend to be perceived as persons. Men, other human beings, they see men as persons. And they found that women tend to be perceived as objects. As objects.
The interesting thing about the study at the University of Nebraska is that they found that even women viewed and perceived other women as exactly the same way, meaning other women saw women as objects as well. So what does that tell you? We're arguing that society has objectified women so much, made them sexual objects to such a degree that even other women see them, see each other as objects, and not as persons, and not as individuals.
Also in the University of Nebraska, they did another study with 83 students, and they showed them pictures of human bodies and human parts. When the subjects remembered the women better, when they were shown body parts of women, they remembered which person this belonged to, this arm belonged to, this leg belonged to, they remembered very well when they were shown body parts of the women, and they had a harder time recognizing or remembering when they saw the men. They only recognized the men when they saw the picture of the entire body. But when they saw pictures of the parts, they recognized the women as well, quickly.
So the scientists concluded that people see women the same way they see inanimate objects, and they link basically the individual to the parts.
University of Michigan Study
Another study done in 1989, this is an older study, at the University of Michigan, in the United States as well, this study was done around 37 countries. So they're trying to show that this is not just in the West,
that women are looked at as sexual objects, or objects, more than people or persons. But they did this study in 37 countries, and they went to parts of Asia and so on, and they came with the same conclusion.
But that means what? You're really just giving us more evidence to say the women should be covered. Because when they're not covered, it doesn't matter if it's Muslim lands or not, when they're not covered, you just look at them as a sexual object. And you're trained to look at them that way, through magazines, and it doesn't matter which country you're in, you always see the woman as something to push a commodity.
Effects on Society
Unrealistic Expectations
What is the effect of this on the society? A number of effects. One of the things is that it creates this unrealistic expectation by men of what the woman should look like. People watch television, they look in the magazines, and they see these images of women who are airbrushed, and photoshopped, and they have makeup on, and everything is making them look as glamorous as possible. So a lot of men then, this becomes their standard. They expect the woman to look like that.
That's why a brother who tries to get married, he wants her to look like the person in the magazine. Even the person in the magazine doesn't look like that. It went through a lot of changes and a lot of technology to make them look like that.
So the expectations there for men have been raised, and they now have some incredible standards because of these unrealistic images that they see all the time. With women who are average or normal looking, they start to feel inadequate and less beautiful. So they start to feel less about themselves because this is what they're comparing themselves to.
Psychological Disorders
As well as the psychological disorders like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and anorexia is when the woman will stop herself from eating. She sees herself overweight, even though she becomes skin and bones. She still doesn't eat. She's skin and bones, but when she looks in the mirror, she sees a fat person. She doesn't eat. She decreases her food intake severely. It's an illness, and it's caused by this. This fake image that they have to look up to. These are the standards of beauty now. And bulimia as well. The same thing. Bulimia is binge eating. The woman will eat a lot and feel very good and full. Then she'll go in and she'll put her finger to her mouth and vomit all that food out of fear of gaining weight.
Historical Example from the Time of the Prophet
There's a story just to show you how the standards have changed a lot. In the old days, if a woman was overweight, she was beautiful, right? Now if a woman's overweight, people think, what is this? If she's
thin, now this is the new standard for beauty.
At the time of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), there was an effeminate man, and he used to sit with the women and the wives of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and he'd just chit-chat with them. He was an effeminate man. He has no hajah, no irba, no desire in women. So the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to allow him to sit with women. And these types of men are allowed to sit with women as long as they don't start to notice the beauty of women and notice women's bodies.
This is what they thought about this man, until one day he's telling Abdullah, the brother of Umm Salama, the mother of the believers, the wife of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) this is her brother, Abdullah. So this man, this effeminate man, he was telling Abdullah, the brother of Umm Salama, he was telling him that if you guys conquer Taif, then he starts to tell him about a specific woman. Go after her, marry her, or take her as your captive.
(Sahih Bukhari 4324, Sahih Muslim 2180)
He says when she comes forward, facing you, she has four folds. And when she turns and goes the other way, she has eight folds. What does it mean, folds? Folds of fat. So he's describing to him a very beautiful woman. She's so fat that she has folds. That was a beautiful woman. He's telling him if you conquer Taif, go for that woman.
Can you imagine what that looks like? That was a beautiful woman. Even not long ago in the 1940s, and even in 50s, and even the 60s, that the Western idea of a beautiful woman was not extremely thin. This is more a very contemporary thing.
Women in Leadership Positions
Also, what happens with this issue, when women are looked at as sexual objects, and not as people, not as a human being, you see an increase in violence or the acceptance, and you see an increase in the likelihood and the acceptance of sexual violence against women as well.
In America, we have a big problem accepting orders from a woman who is effeminate, ya'ani, she looks like a woman. She has long hair. She has a soft voice. She's attractive like a woman. In America, we have a big problem accepting orders from a woman like this, and we have very big problems putting them in leadership positions.
We never put them in leadership positions. Why? Because they're women. She's beautiful. She's a sexual object. How am I going to take orders from a sexual object? She's going to tell me what to do. That's why, this is the argument we're making, if you examine Western women in very high leadership positions, what do they look like?
Examples of Female Leaders
We'll start with what they call the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher. What did she look like? Short hair. She'll wear those suits, the women business suits or what have you. If you watch recently, they made some documentaries about her. If you watch the documentaries, in the beginning, and they'll show you some old recordings of when Margaret Thatcher came into, or was appearing into the limelight, she would speak in a high-pitched voice. And then the experts who are around her told her don't speak in a high- pitched voice. It's not agreeable with men.
So make your voice deeper. So now she cuts her hair short. She makes her voice deeper. Then they show you a clip of her later years, and she makes her voice deep again. Then they show you a clip when she left politics, and her voice is high again. You understand what's happening? So her advisors are telling her, if you have a high-pitched voice, and you look like a woman, and you have long hair, men don't accept you like this.
So you cut the hair short, and this is what it means when a woman appears androgynous. Androgynous, she has qualities, male characteristics, short hair, whatever, broad shoulders, deeper voice. And that is more acceptable to the men. Why? Because if she looks like a woman, they see her as a sexual object. The only way to be accepted by them, she has short hair, makes her voice deeper.
If you remember with Madeleine Albright, also what's her description during the Clinton era? Short hair again, business suits, turning around like this, looking very manly, right? If you remember Janet Reno, and all the comedians in America would make fun of her, and they would dress up like her, and act like a man. She had short hair again, and she looked very much like a man, Janet Reno. Then you have Hillary Clinton.
When she was running against Obama some years ago, she was always being critiqued on the internet, on the news, that she is too stoic. Stoic, meaning, she's not very reactive, doesn't show much emotion, she's like this. They're always criticizing her. She's too stoic, she's too manly. Again, she has short hair, wears these manly kind of clothes, either the suit and the pants, or the suit and the dress, like that.
The Chinese American Woman's Experience
For those who are interested in reading this, it's really, I believe, it's one of the most amazing articles. It's written by a non-Muslim. And if you want to find it online, just Google, Chinese American hijab. Just do that. Chinese American hijab. It's an article written by a Chinese American lady. She's not Muslim. She wore the hijab for a while.
She begins by talking about how she just came out of the barbershop where the hair salon, right? She said, I cut my hair very short. She cut her hair very short on purpose. And she says to appear androgynous, to have these male qualities or characteristics. And she said, I did that because I wanted to basically almost like cancel out my femininity.
The Blessing of Hijab
This is the blessing that Muslim and righteous Muslim women have that if they're covered, they're not looked at as sexual objects. They're looked at as persons, as people, as human beings. And we give a chance for their intellect, for their intelligence to shine through.
But if a woman is wearing bad clothing and you look at her only in that way, you don't wait for her intelligence to shine through. She has to work 10 times as hard to show you that she's smart. And that's another thing that experts are saying about these types of images is that certain groups of people, in America, for example, blonde women are regarded as not being very intelligent.
And there are always these blonde jokes and how dumb they are. So they tell you that if a woman now is blonde, even if she's smart, she has to work against the stereotype. She has to work harder to prove that she's intelligent.
Historical Background of Anti-Islamic Sentiment
Biblical Views on Women
Before we look at what happened in the early days when the early Christians first came into contact with Islam and the Muslims, biblically in the book of Genesis, when according to the Bible, Adam ate from the tree, the blame is put on the woman. The entire blame is put on the woman. She ate from the tree and then she gave him to eat from the tree, right? Now, even Adam in Genesis in the Bible, he tells, he says to God, the woman you put here with me, she gave me from the fruit. So the blame was put on the woman 100%.
Well, in Islam, was the blame put on the woman? No, was the blame put on Shaytan? Was it? No, never ever is the blame put on the Shaytan in the Quran. Never. You know why? Because Shaytan doesn't force you to do anything. If he forced you, then he would be blameworthy.
But all he does is suggest. And in the Quran, Allah Azza wa Jalla says,
So Adam disobeyed his Lord. Adam disobeyed his Lord. Not the Shaytan caused Adam or Hawwa made Adam. Adam disobeyed his Lord. Because the blame was put on Adam.
And it wasn't put on the Shaytan. And never ever is in the Quran, is the Shaytan blamed for sins. Why? Because he only makes suggestions to you. He doesn't force you to do things. That's even his argument on the Day of Judgment. On the Day of Judgment, he gives that argument
- I made an offer to you or I passed on an invitation and you're the ones who responded. I didn't force you.
So the sin in the Quran was never blamed on Hawwa and never blamed on Iblis. But Adam was responsible for his own sin. But in the Bible, the sin was entirely put on the woman. So that's the first strike against woman.
The Introduction of Celibacy
The second thing, the Christians started to realize that Jesus... Well, I mean, obviously they said that Jesus never got married. So they saw that he was celibate. He never got married. So they concluded that it's probably the best to not get married. And so they invented celibacy into their religion. Allah Azawajal says in the Quran
- And celibacy which they innovated into the religion.
Allah didn't command them. They imposed it upon themselves to be celibate to not get married. Why? Because Jesus never got married. So he's our best example. He never got married. We see the woman being the source of evil in the Bible.
And so they start to conclude that women were evil. If you ever wonder why it took the West so long to consider the woman as a full human being. If you ever wonder why the West took so long to finally allow women to vote and to give them so many of their rights.
This is recent as far as the West is concerned. Relatively recently they finally got the rights to vote and to be a full human being and so on and so forth. Why? It goes back to these teachings seeing women as evil.
As an extension of this, as a result of this of women being evil, they concluded that you can get married because you need to have children. But to be intimate with your wife is not a good thing either. So they saw intimacy with the wife, intercourse, things like that as dirty. They regarded it as a dirty thing, a bad thing. And they said the only time you can be intimate with the wife is if you want children.
Islamic View vs Christian View
Then what happens? They're continuing with this thought process. Then they see in the Quran. Now they encounter Muslims. They find that Muslims don't view intimacy as something dirty or something shameful or something bad. But it's something good between a man and the wife. And it's permissible and it's a source of enjoyment. They found that in the Quran, Allah right after the verses speaking about Ramadan will mention going back to the wife. So it was very normal.
It's even put in the middle of verses about acts of worship. They saw that the man can marry up to four. They saw that the man gets virgins in a Jannah and 72 virgins and all this issue. And they concluded that Muslim men are oversexed. That's why they get all this. And they even said that Muslim women wear hijab because the men are wild. And if they see them, they will attack them.
Media Portrayal of Arabs
So they concluded that Muslim men were oversexed. Now some of you are old enough to remember the movies, the old movies where how did they always portray the Arab in the old movies? Always with females, always wanting females. All the movies like this. The whole this construct of Hollywood of the Haram, the Harim.
That the Sultan will have all these women in very, very bad clothing. Their bellies showing everything very uncovered. But Mashallah, they still wear niqab. What kind of sense does that make? She has haya. She's not a bad woman. Right? What kind of Islam is this? And then the man comes. He's just picking from the woman. This is the Sultan.
And a lot of the movies, even until the 80s, the Arab is always the one with bad broken teeth. His eye, one eye is looking this way, other was looking that way. And always, he's always asking women, how much? How much? Every movie was like that. Even some of the more recent movies.
The Sexual Revolution and Its Impact
So then what happens, then the Western world goes through what is known as the sexual revolution. That started from the 1960s all the way to the 1980s. They experienced what is known as the sexual revolution. Where they started to accept intimate relations outside of marriage. Became very acceptable. And all kinds of other things became very acceptable. And homosexuality became very acceptable.
So they started to then go through this phase known as the sexual revolution. And now, again, the Muslims were at the other extreme end. Realistically, we were always here. We never moved from here. We were always here. But they're the ones who kept moving around. So when they were very far to the right, they looked at the Muslims and said, Oh, you guys are so far to the left. Then they came very far to the left and they looked back at the Muslims and said, You guys are so far to the right.
But realistically, we're in the same place. We didn't go anywhere, right? And our standards were the same. Our hijab and rules were the same.
So now they go through the sexual revolution. They go very far to the left. And now we're so far to the right. And again, they start to critique the Muslims. You Muslims, look how you cover these women. First, they said the women have to cover themselves because the men are crazy. They'll attack them. Now after the sexual revolution, you're oppressing these women by covering them. Let them uncover.
The Issue with Four Wives
Despite that fact, and here, if some of you are ever confused, why are they against the Muslim man having four wives? Why? Because it's a strange combination of the old thoughts and the new thoughts. Because you would think, if you look at the Western society, sexual activity is a very big deal there. They're very promiscuous for the most part, very promiscuous, exchanging partners and things like that. A man will be married, he'll always have mistresses and cheat on his wife.
But you would think that they'll be okay with the idea of four wives in Islam. You would think so, that they'll always come to us, mashaAllah. I like that. Because they really like that stuff, so they should like the fact that Muslims get married to four, shouldn't they? No, because it's a combination of old thoughts that they can't get away with.
The Paradise Issue
If you remember after 9-11, in America you were forced to be aware of this. After 9-11, it was a big deal and all over the news and newspapers and internet that look at these people, they believe that they go to Jannah and they get 72 virgins.
And how could you believe? By the way, the Christians, because they saw sexual relations as something dirty, they were forced to say that Jannah is spiritual. Jannah is spiritual. Even though in their writings, in their books, in their movies, they always show Jannah as physical.
How can Jannah be spiritual? How do you enjoy it if you're a spirit? How do you relax on a cushion if you're a spirit? How do you drink if you're a spirit? They forced to say Jannah is spiritual because you can't have physical enjoyment because physical enjoyment is dirty. How do we know it's dirty? One, women are evil. Two, Jesus never did it, so it's a bad thing. That means it's not in Jannah. So they were forced to say Jannah is spiritual.
And so now when they came and saw that, after 9-11, this issue of the 72 virgins, it was such a big deal and everyone's like, what is this? What kind of belief is this? That you get virgins in Jannah and all this stuff.
And of course, a lot of pressure was put on Imams and some of them broke. And some of them said that Al-Hur, Al-Ain, it's cotton flowers. Cotton flowers. So when Allah says
- We wed them to Hur Al-Ain, ya'ani we wed them, we married them off to cotton flowers. What are you going to do with the cotton flower, brother?
Refuting the Oppression Argument
The Double Standard
I need the argument that if you're covered, you're oppressed. And it's not a good argument. And many people think this. But why is it that when they see a nun covered, they don't think she's oppressed? This is in the West, right? Non-Muslims. They see a nun covered and they don't think she's oppressed. They see an orthodox Jewish woman covered and they also don't think she's oppressed. The minute the Muslim woman comes walking by, look at this poor woman. She's oppressed. She's forced to put this on.
Actually, in America, there have been women who would walk up to a Muslim in hijab and tell her, You don't have to wear that, my dear. You're in America now. Thank you for telling me where I was. I was here for 15 years and I don't know where I am, honey. Thank you. I know where I am and I choose to put this on. No one's forcing me to put it on.
So, why is it that the Muslim woman is oppressed, the others are okay? There's nothing wrong with them. They do it out of choice.
The Liberation Argument
We're saying that the argument that being covered is oppressed is not a good argument and should not be accepted by believing men or women when it's presented to them. Because if being covered means you are oppressed, that means being uncovered means that you're liberated. True? And whoever makes that argument to you, you can tell them, essentially, well, you're not fully liberated I see at the moment. Why don't you liberate yourself some more? Because the more you uncover, the more liberated you are.
And this is a true story that happened during one of the events where there was a speaker, a Muslim speaker giving a speech to a group of Muslim students. There was men to the right and women to the left. So, a non-Muslim woman came walking in very angrily, yelling and interrupting the speech. It shows
again, some strange mentality. It's a religious group and they're having their own event. What business is it of yours how they sit and how they cover? But this woman felt she had the right to say that.
She walks into the room interrupting the speech, yelling and pointing to the Muslim woman. Why are they covered like that? You know what she's trying to say. She's trying to say, you have oppressed them and that's why you made them dress this way and liberate them, right?
She said, why are they covered like that? So the speaker said to her, well, you were born without clothing. Why are you wearing clothes right now? She said, modesty. He said, okay, modesty? More modesty. If your argument that putting on clothes is because of modesty, that means the more you cover, the more modest you are.
If your argument is that being covered is oppression and being uncovered is liberation, then you are not 100% liberated either.
The True Liberation
Living in the West
We're saying that the argument that being covered is oppressed is not a good argument and should not be accepted by believing men or women when it's presented to them. Consider millions of Muslims, for example, living in Western lands and millions of them wearing their hijab, the Muslim women, wearing their hijab, wearing their niqab and they're comfortable with it. So if they were not comfortable with it, they can take it off and the laws would defend them there.
There's no sharia in America. They could take off the hijab and move out of the father's home by the age 18. The minute they hit 18, they can move out and he would have no legal recourse whatsoever. So they can do that but they don't. That means they choose to wear this out of obedience to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subhanahu wa ta'ala) and it's not me who needs to uncover, it's you who needs to cover.
So you're looked at as a person, as a human being and not as a sexual object. I don't have this. I'm liberated from that. The Muslim woman should say, I am liberated from that and you're not. You are the one in bondage. You are the one in slavery still. You're the one who has a problem and you cannot break free from these shackles.
Practical Response
One of the Muslim woman one time during one of the da'wah workshops, she wears niqab and she said, sometimes I'm at the cashier at the register at a store and when we're finishing at the end, at the last second, the woman gives me the money and she says, and why do you wear that by the way? She said, I don't have any time to explain to her. What can I say?
He said, okay, do this next time. Because now at the register in America when you're leaving, they have all these magazines and every magazine has a woman that's not dressed properly on it. So she said, how can I explain to her in just two seconds the customer behind me, she's already bringing their items. How do I explain to her in a few seconds why I'm wearing niqab?
He said, next time just point to the magazine and say, so I don't become like that and walk away. So the Muslim woman is the one who is truly liberated by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subhanahu wa ta'ala) and don't allow people to put you in the lesser position.
Conclusion
Don't allow someone to come to you and put you in the lesser position and tell you that you need to be liberated. They need to liberate themselves from the shackles of this kind of me being looked at as an object.
Putting on the hijab helps you break free from these shackles. So don't allow someone to come to you and put you in the lesser position and tell you that you need to be liberated. They need to liberate themselves from the shackles of this kind of me being looked at as an object.
You're the one in the higher position, the position of the educator. So the person that you're supposed to educate is coming to educate you. No, you listen and I speak and I direct you to the truth of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى - subhanahu wa ta'ala).
I'd like to thank all of you for coming and for your attentive listening.