Balance Your Life

You want to find out the real value of a person, you ask their family. And not only the family because in the family you have children. You ask their wife, the people they've taken for granted. Ask their mother, ask their father. And then ask them, what do you think of your son? What do you think of your daughter? How is your husband? How is your wife? How is your child? How is your father? And then these people will tell you the real side of things. Then you'll find out who a person really is.

Aisha's Testimony About the Prophet

The companions wanted to know about the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And those people who were deprived of seeing the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) with their eyes, they wanted to hear about him. They would come to Ummul Mumineen Aisha and they would ask her: tell us about the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). This is the wife of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and they're asking her after the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) has passed away: speak to us about him.

And Aisha starts crying. She cries and cries and cries. Just by hearing his name she's in tears. That's what you call a husband. That's what you call love. That just the word, just the name of your husband enters into your ears and you're in tears. And it was the vice versa. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had equivalent love for his wives too.

The Prophet's Love for Khadijah

His wife Khadijah was so dear and so close to him. She was the only wife who he lost during his lifetime. The other wives they lived till he passed away. The one wife who he lost in his life was Khadijah. And it was so hard on him, so hard on him, because he was a Prophet but he was attached to his family. He was attached to his wives.

The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), the first revelation comes. He's worried, he's shaken up, he's shaking, he's trembling. It's such a big day on him. The Wahi. No other creation can hold the weight of this Wahi. That can hold the weight of this Wahi, Allah says. A mountain couldn't hold the weight of revelation. And here the soft and tender heart of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) takes the first verses of revelation. And as the mountain would shake, he's also shaking. He arrives home.

And who does he go to first? Does he go to his boys and chat with them? Did he go to some other family members or relatives? Where's the first place the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) goes after the first revelation? He comes right home because the person who he loved the most, and the person who he knew that their hug and their sheet would calm him down, was his wife Khadijah. That's what kind of family man he was.

And my teacher used to say: "Revelation started in the arms of Khadijah and ended in the lap of Aisha." It started in one wife's arms and ended in one wife's lap. That was how the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was with his wives.

And just by hearing Khadijah's name, he would start crying. Just by seeing some resemblance of her, it would bring tears to his eyes.

The Prophet's Children

The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) he had - anyone know how many sons the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had? Three, very good, Masha'Allah. How many daughters did he have? Four, this is a good crowd, Masha'Allah. He had three sons and four daughters. Right?

The oldest daughter of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) what was her name? Masha'Allah, very good. Zainab, very good. And she was married to - I'm waiting for you guys to share - Abu'l Aas. Who was she married to? Abu'l Aas. And Abu'l Aas was the son of Khadijah's sister. Khadijah's sister, her son's name was Abu'l Aas. And Zainab married her cousin. Her mother and her husband's mother were actually sisters. So she married her cousin.

The Story of Zainab and Abu'l Aas

Her cousin Abu'l Aas didn't accept Islam, and he came to fight against the Muslims in the Battle of Badr. And he was captured by the Muslims. And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) after the Battle of Badr, he sat down with his companions and he asked them: what should we do with these captives?

Umar said, slay them all. Abu Bakr said, let them free in return of ransom. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) took the opinion of Abu Bakr, and he announced that anyone whose relative we've captured at the Battle of Badr, you may take them back home in return of a ransom. Right? And those who had skill were held back in Makkah Mukarramah to Madinah Munawwarah to teach that skill to the people of Madinah Munawwarah.

Now everyone came one by one to give the ransom to free their family members. And Zainab also came. She came to free her husband Abu'l Aas. And when it came time for her to give the ransom, they said to her, give us something. The Sahabi said, you have to give something in order to take your husband. And she took off her necklace and she gave.

And when that necklace was brought in front of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), he was going through all the things when he saw that necklace. He picked it up and he started crying. And he cried and cried and cried. And one Sahabi asked, O Messenger of Allah, what makes you cry?

The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said that this necklace, Khadijah used to wear. And she gave it to my daughter Zainab at the time of her marriage. And I know Zainab just gave this right now to free her husband Abu'l Aas.

He started crying just by seeing a resemblance of Khadijah. A leftover artifact of Khadijah makes the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) cry. That's what kind of husband he was. He was a perfect man inside the house.

The Prophet's Behavior at Home

Hazrat Aisha says that when he was inside the house, it was as if he had nothing else to worry about in life. He was in the family. And then when it was time for Salah, he would just get up and leave and go pray Salah and come back and he would sit with us. So when he was at home, it was like he was imposing himself - I'm a big Shaykh, I'm a big Mufti. You come here to do this for me, you come here to do that for me. He was just a normal husband. We loved being in his company.

The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), he had a great time with his wives. Hazrat Aisha, she says that before the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would leave the house, many times, before he would leave, he would kiss me on the cheek and then he would leave. And the Hanafi scholars, they use this hadith as their dalil to say that the touching of a lady with a man's skin does not break the wudhu. They use this hadith as their proof. They say that the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would kiss Aisha on the cheek before going to lead Salah.

You look at this, where do you find a husband like this? Where do you find a man who is so complete? Who has such good recommendations from everyone in the community? Everyone saying this man was amazing.

Learning from the Prophet's Complete Example

You want to learn the life of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)? Let's not nitpick and choose what we are going to take from his life. Let's take the whole picture. Everyone wants to talk about the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had 10 wives and he had 11 wives and he had this and he had that. The critics always use this as a target to attack Islam. But they don't talk about how he treated those wives. Does anyone ever talk about that? Does anyone ever talk about how each of those wives never married again even after he (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) passed away because of his love? Anyone ever talk about that?

Anyone ever talk about when the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to sit next to Aisha and he would eat from the same plate as her? Where in Arab society that was considered as something bad for a husband, a man to eat on the same plate as a lady. He would sit down and eat with his wives. And not only eat with them, he would sit next to them and eat. And he would put a morsel in their mouth and they would put a morsel in his mouth.

And Aisha says that one day I was eating with the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And while I was eating with him, the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) he gave me a cup of water and I drank from there. And after I drank from there, I put the cup down. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) picked up that very same cup and he began to spin it. He was looking for my lip marks. And then he drank from the exact same place where I drank from. You want a Romeo, you want love? Look at Muhammad (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). He was a perfect, well-rounded man.

The Prophet's Gentleness with His Wives

And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) wasn't harsh and mean with his women. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was having a dinner with two of his wives (Majma' uz zawaid - that's a reference). The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) is having a meal with two of his wives, and they're both eating. And one says to the other, you eat first. The second says, no, you eat first. She says to her, you eat first. She says, I don't care, no, you're going to eat first. So this one says, if you don't eat first, I'm going to put food on your face. And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) is sitting where? And they're going off at each other, like firing each other down. Typical women.

So one of them picks up some food and puts it on her face. She did it in front of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) - now this lady says, look what she just did. Put food on my face, pat her tail. She just put food on my face right now. And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) what did he do? He just moved his chest back. That's it, he just moved his chest back. And she took food and put it back on her face. What is that? If someone does wrong to you, you have the right to do it back to them. But that was the humor of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). That's how he was with his family. He was always smiling. He was always smiling and laughing and joking.

Racing with Aisha

He's racing with Aisha. How old is he at that time? He's over 55 years old, almost. In some narration he was 53 years old. He's returning back from a battle. He couldn't be 53 because that battle took place after the battle of Badr. He was over 55 years old and he's racing. Which 55 year old man today can race his wife? Without falling over with a heart attack. Let me add that clause. Who can do that today? No one can.

And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was so humble that he lets her win. And then after a few years later, he says to Aisha, let's race again. And they race again. And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) beats Aisha. And then he says to her, the first time I let you win too. Don't think you beat me. He was so humble.

His wife Aisha says, O Messenger of Allah, there's a street, they're playing sports in the streets. I want to go watch it, I want to go watch the game. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), he stands at the door. And Aisha, she gets on her tippy toes and she's peeking over the shoulder of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). Imagine how beautiful that scene was. What a husband he was.

She's standing there and the Hadith says the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) says that I had no interest in that game at all. What they were watching, it was like watching cricket, I had no interest. What are these guys doing, right? I'm watching these guys do this crazy thing here. And his wife, he's only standing there because his wife wants to watch it. As Aisha is watching, the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) is standing.

We can give so many examples, so many examples of how the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) dealt with his wives and how he was a perfect husband. The wives of the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) were amazed by him. They were amazed by his sublime character.

The Prophet's Relationship with His Daughter Fatimah

And it wasn't only his wives. The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) gave that equal attention to his children too. Fatimah was the perfect role model. Anytime she had an issue - you know, you want to find out how good of a parent a person was? You see who they go to at the time of difficulty. When your son is facing a problem, when your daughter is facing a problem, check who they go to first.

And trust me, if your child hasn't come to you with a problem for the past three months, they're not coming to you. They're going to someone else. Because children face a lot of problems. They're emotionally going through a lot. And if they haven't come to you in the past six, seven months with a big issue they're facing, they're probably not coming to you. They're probably going to someone else, some friend of theirs. And the advisor probably has no better wisdom than that child has himself. And that's where you see our children making these crazy mistakes they make in their lives.

Fatimah, on the other hand, any issue she had, who would she come to first? The Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). She would go there directly. When she got married, the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) asked her: Fatimah, we will get ready for you the house, where do you want us to stay? Where do you wish to stay in Medina Munawwara because we will have a house ready for you.

And what did Fatimah say? "Oh my father, I want to live right next door to you." Where do you find a daughter like this today? That says to her father that I want to live next door to you, in a daddy's grove. She was so close to the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). And she was that close to him throughout his entire life.

And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), when he's passing away, he knows that his daughter won't be able to bear the separation. So that's why he tells his daughter Fatimah that after I pass away, you will be the first person to come and join me. You're going to pass away soon too. We're going to be together in Jannah.

سَيِّدَةٌ نِسَاءِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ فَاطِمَةُ Fatimah will be the leader of the women in Jannah (Bukhari)

And the Prophet (صَلَّىٰ ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) that's him being a father. That's him being a husband. And that's him there being a father.

And then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), because his other daughters Ruqayya and Umm Kulthum had passed away. The three sons, Abdullah, Qasim and Ibrahim had also passed away. So Fatimah, she was by the side of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) throughout the entire life.

The Prophet with His Grandchildren

And then after this, the grandchildren of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) who were infants - how did the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) deal with them? The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), whenever he had his grandchildren around him, he couldn't stop kissing them. He couldn't stop.

And then Imam Bukhari brings a hadith that one companion saw the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) kissing the child on his forehead. And he said, O Messenger of Allah, I have ten kids, I've never kissed them, why are you kissing your child? And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, it's not my fault you don't have rahmah and mercy in your heart. It's not my fault you don't have rahmah and mercy. I love my children. And he kissed them on the forehead again.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is giving the khutbah, and these two young children, they enter inside the masjid. And by the way, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was the best khateeb. He was an amazing speaker. And he was the most prestigious speaker in the history of mankind. He's giving this amazing khutbah. And while he's giving this khutbah, these two young children come inside and they're falling.

And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) when he sees them falling, he stops the khutbah. He goes over there, he picks them up. He sits down again and then he recites the verse of the Qur'an:

Indeed your wealth and children are a trial (Quran 64:15)

That indeed your wealth and children are a test from Allah, and Allah will reward you abundantly.

I can honestly go on with example after example after example.

The Prophet as a Worshipper

The point I want to make: the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was an amazing worshipper. He was an amazing worshipper. We can have a whole seminar just on his worship. Books were written on the ibadah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) wasn't only worshipping with his outer actions, but also with his sincerity.

You know we always talk about the difference of opinion within fiqh. Everyone's fighting over where to tie the hands. I went to meet Sheikh Akram Nadvi. He's a scholar in Oxford. He's a very very knowledgeable scholar. He's a doctor and he lectures in Oxford. He's written a book actually right now which he's waiting to publish. It's on the female scholars of hadith. What's it called? The female scholars of hadith. You know how many volumes that book is? Female scholars of hadith. How many volumes do you think the book

is? Take a wild guess. Three volumes, five volumes. The Sheikh knows. It's 52 volumes. How big is that book? 52 volumes.

I sat with him and I said Sheikh, how did you write 52 volumes? He goes, even that I cut the book short. Otherwise I could have written a lot more than 52 volumes. But I said, where's the book? He said that's the big problem. No one wants to publish 52 volumes. Literally he said I've been travelling the world and no one wants to publish my book. He said this to me. So I said, what's the plan now? He said, now my plan is that Insha'Allah if Allah gives me the tawfiq, I finally found a publisher in Beirut who's willing to publish the book. But even he's told me to cut the book down to 40 volumes. He said I'm going to have to scrap 12 volumes altogether. I'm just going to have to get rid of 12 volumes, bring the book down to 40 volumes and publish that book. Extremely knowledgeable man. So knowledgeable. Wallahi I can't even tell you.

The Consensus on the Prophet's Tears in Prayer

I was sitting with him and he said this point, and I want to relate it to you guys. Everyone talks about where the hands should be in Salah. The Sahaba they saw the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) placing their hands in different places in Salah. That's why they narrated it that way. But one thing that no one differed in opinion - we like engaging in the things where there's difference of opinion. Everyone likes talking about that. Everyone likes talking about where to put the hand. Do you raise your hands? Do you not raise your hands? Those are the nice discussions that you have fun because there's a good debate in there. You really don't have to do much to debate that.

But no one wants to study and act upon the thing that was - that had a consensus amongst the Sahaba - which was that wherever you put your hands in Salah, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was always crying in his Salah. Those tears, there is a consensus on them. There is an Ijma' on the tears of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). But no one wants to act upon that because that requires a heart. That requires Sohbah. That requires being in the companionship. That requires following the real role model of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And who wants to do that today?

The Prophet as Teacher and Leader

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was not only a great worshipper, but he was a great warrior. Not only a great warrior, the best teacher. I was in Madinah Munawwarah this year. And while I was walking past the front part of the Masjid of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) - you know when you go, some of you may have been before, and when you go to say Salaam to the grave of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), you walk past the front part of the Masjid. And on the left side there is the actual Masjid of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And there's also the Minbar there where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to stand and lead Salah and where he used to give the Khutbah.

So as I was walking past this, a thought came to my mind. I was thinking, wow. Once upon a time this was a local Masjid of some local people. And there was a local Imam in here. There was a normal guy who used to lead Salah here. There was some normal Musallis. But the thing was that that local Imam was normal, he was one of the people, but he was so spiritually strong, so spiritually strong. And the local Musalli, those who followed him, were so spiritually strong too.

I'll translate it for you in English. He used to say: in that time, the Masjid was weak, but the people were strong. This was his statement. He used to say, in that time, the structure was weak, but the men were strong. Today we've made the structure strong, but the men inside the Masjid have gone weak. He flipped the model over.

So the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was an amazing Imam, amazing teacher. But remember, he was as amazing as a family man. There was no part of the family of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that was left deprived.

Modern Parent-Child Relationship Crisis

Today, every parent is making that complaint: that my child doesn't listen to me. My child doesn't want to listen to me. I told my child, you can't marry that person, you have to marry this person. But we don't understand that when these children were growing up, we weren't there for them. For the greater part of it, we were not there for our children when these children were growing up. And when they had issues, and when they wanted to talk to us, when they came back home, we were in the store. And these children didn't know who to go to. These children never felt that their father was anything more than a dictator in their life. That's why they never had that relationship.

And today when we sit with these kids, honestly, when any kid comes to me with an issue, the first thing I ask him is, do your parents know? One girl came to me and she was brought to the Masjid by a priest. She actually first went to the church. She first went to the church with her case. And the priest asked me that I need to consult you on her matter. So I said, come on in. And that girl came together and she was a Muslim girl by the way. She came to the Masjid and I was sitting there. And I said, what's the case? And the girl said I want to go through an abortion. I want to go through an abortion. And the reason why she was afraid to come to the Masjid was because she felt that the Muslims would never accept her. The Muslims wouldn't accept her. So she went there. And then he asked me from an Islamic perspective, what's the ruling on abortion?

So one thing I asked her, I said, do your parents know about this? "Forget the child, my life will come to an end. Forget the child's life." So this is the state that our parents are at today because we're busy working and working, working and working. We've become workaholics. We think that the responsibility of the father is to only pay for the child's fees. It's a lie man.

The Prophet as a Single Father

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) didn't only pay for his children. He took care for them. He was there, everything for them. And you guys know that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) for a great part of his life was a single father. You know that right? Yes or no? You guys, it's established right?

All of the children of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) who lived, who were they born through? Khadijah. Khadijah passed away. And after she passed away, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) continued to father them all alone. Fatimah got married in Medina Munawwarah in the third year Hijri. And until then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) kept her by his side and was a single father for her. He had other wives, but he never burdened them with that responsibility. He took care of her alone.

Which father sitting here right now actually has the confidence to say that I have such an attachment with my child that I can take care of them alone as a father? I can take care of them alone as a mother? The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was well rounded. He never had big issues with his families. And if the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did have marital issues, he easily dealt with them. Very easily.

The Prophet's Marital Challenges

We were talking about this earlier on today. A lot of these things that we said earlier are coming back right now. But for the gathering we'll repeat them. If you look at the life of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), did he ever have marital issues? Yes or no? Yes or no? Of course he did. But having a marital issue, is that something bad? It's not. There is nothing bad with having marital problems. But the real kamal, or the real beauty, is how you deal with the problem. You guys understand that? What's the real beauty in life? How you deal with issues in life.

So here the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in his entire marital life, he had small things up and down. But there were two incidents in his life which actually were major marriage issues that he had. Two times in his life where he had major marriage issues. Two major issues that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had in his life, with his marriage. Two major incidents. What were the causes of these incidents?

Okay? You know young men they come and ask all the time: Shaykh I want to get married, what should I look for in a wife? Common question right? The Imam always gets this one. When I'm getting married, what should I get? You know my teacher used to always say that you will meet the Imam three times in your life: at your birth, at your marriage, at your death. And I was actually amazed because I went the other day with my father to a lawyer to set his will up. What did the lawyer say? He said people come to us at two to three times in their life: when someone's born, when someone's getting married, when someone's dying. Rather than marriage he said divorce actually. At least we're on the marriage side, right?

The Two Essential Qualities in Marriage

So people ask, you know, what is there that I should look for in a wife? I always tell them: two things you

must have in a wife, because if you don't have these two things, your life is going to be misery with that person. What are the two things? Loyalty and Qanaat.

You know what loyalty is right? That you are content that your spouse is not going to look towards anyone else. Your spouse will be devoted to you and that's it. And what does Qanaat mean? Anyone know what Qanaat means? Content. You are content with what you're given.

Yesterday I was in Indiana and one brother came with a situation to me. It's a very interesting situation where his wife started doubting him for some reason. She was doubting him for the lack of a better word. Now this guy says to me, Shaykh, I have a daughter and son that are married. I'm past that age. And my wife is doubting me. And I said, so what happened?

So he said one day we were at the office. They work together. And she left early. When she left early she went inside the car. Now she was gone. So he said after I was there, I closed up the office and I went to my car. When I sat in the car, I closed the door, and I felt like someone was in the back seat. She was kneeled down like this and she was sitting there. So he said I felt bad that how am I going to call her out. So he said I put the mirror back up and I just started driving. He said I called home and my daughter-in- law answered. I asked her what's for dinner. She said that whatever we've cooked is this. He said has my wife arrived yet? I said no not yet. Now she's listening in the back. He said I got home, I parked far away from the house - make her walk too - and set the alarm. He goes then I had to... I won't say what happened after that. It gets too bad.

So imagine a life like that. When you think your husband or your wife isn't loyal, all your life you just go here and there. Maybe this, maybe that. And the second thing is what we call contentment. If you ever get married to someone who's not content with what you have to give them, they're going to take you on a roller coaster. They're going to take you on a very far roller coaster, because the expectations are going to drive you nuts. And trust me, expectations never come to an end.

The Prophet's Two Major Marital Issues

And these were the two reasons why those two major issues took place during the life of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in his marriage. The first one was someone made accusations on the loyalty of Aisha, and it really upset the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And it bothered him so much, it bothered him so much, it became such a serious issue that he actually spoke to Zaid bin Harithah regarding what he should do. He said what should I do now? I don't know what to do. And Ali actually gave the advice: you have permission to marry as many women, whoever you wish to marry. He was kind of implying that maybe you can marry someone else.

And this was the reason why Aisha was always upset with Ali, because he gave this advice at that time. Women remember things, and she remembered it too. And then it became such a serious marriage issue that Allah revealed ten ayaat in Surah An-Nur for the contentment and purification of Aisha:

Indeed, those who came with falsehood are a group among you

...and all those ayaat are there.

And the second issue was where the women of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) asked for increase in their - what do you call this, their nafaka. What's the nafaka called? Allowance, JazakAllah. For the increase in allowance. They said oh Messenger of Allah, we want more money from you. And the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) had to leave the house. He left the house and he didn't return back for some days. And it's a very long story of what happened. At the end of the story Allah revealed ayaat there too:

O Prophet, say to your wives, "If you should desire the worldly life and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and give you a gracious release. But if you should desire Allah and His Messenger and the home of the Hereafter - then indeed, Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward."

And the opening verses of the 33rd chapter of the Quran. And in this verse Allah says:

قُل لِأَزْوَاجِكَ Say to your wives

إن كُنتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا If you want this worldly life and its beauties

فَتَعَالَيْنَ Come to Me

أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ I will give it to you

But after I give it to you, when I have seen that you are not content with what I have to give to you:

وَأَسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا / I will get rid of you too, you will be gone. But not just leave, in a proper manner - in the most beautiful manner. But you will be out of the marriage.

But however:

وَإِن كُنتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ If you decide to opt for Allah and the Rasul and the Hereafter

فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَدَّ لِلْمُحْسِنَاتِ مِنكُنَّ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward in the Hereafter

How the Prophet Dealt with Issues

The Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) did have issues sometimes with his family, but he knew how to deal with them. With patience, without screaming, without getting angry, without throwing a flower pot,

without getting into punching and swinging and abusive. The Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) knew how to do all of this.

And if we as Muslims want to claim to be the followers of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو), it's important that we follow his example holistically. We don't pick and choose what we will do from the life of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو)because we cannot make this deen into one based on our whims and desires. This deen cannot be one based on our culture. This deen just can't be based on halal and haram. This deen must be based on exactly what the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) did.

Building Strong Families

If we can become good parents, if we can become good brothers, if we can be the best wives, if we can be the best husbands, then our children will also be the best too. But if the machinery inside the factory is faulty, how do you expect a good product to come out? Is that possible? If the machinery inside the factory is faulty, can you get a good product coming out of there? No you can't, you have to make sure the machinery is solid. It's A quality.

If we become the best parents, then watch our children come out. If we become parents who are role models for our children, where our children don't have to see us fighting and arguing with each other every time we step into the house, our children's marriages will also be safe and secure.

And if we can give a nice strong family to the Ummah, if we can teach people how to establish real families that the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) established, then we will revive within our society something that is losing today. Because today it's very hard to find a family which can serve as a role model.

Conclusion

With that I end my discussion. I pray that Allah allows us all to understand this role model of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو). This model of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو). And that Allah allows us all to follow his footsteps. May Allah allow us all to be the best fathers, the best mothers, the best brothers, the best sisters, the best husbands, the best wives. And may Allah keep our families in the shade of His throne on the Day of Judgment.

Glory be to Allah and praise be to Him. Glory be to You, O Allah, and praise be to You. We bear witness that there is no god but You. We seek Your forgiveness and repent to You. And our final call is that all praise belongs to Allah, Lord of all the worlds.

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

Note: This khutbah emphasizes the importance of following the Prophet Muhammad (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) as a complete role model, particularly focusing on family life, marriage relationships, and parenting. The speaker advocates for learning Islam through companionship (sohbah) with qualified teachers rather than solely through books or online sources.# Balance Your Life A Khutbah by Mufti Hussain Kamani

Introduction and Speaker Presentation

Assalamu alaikum, my name is Abdul Samad and I am a junior in high school right now. Today I stand before you and have the honor to present to you a great and esteemed scholar. I was actually told this about an hour ago, so I don't really have a fancy speech prepared for you.

But I will try to do my best to present this scholar with the honor that he should be presented with. Mufti Hussain Kamani was born in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, so he is an American race scholar. With the blessings and du'as and supplications of his parents, Mufti Hussain Kamani underwent a journey of a lifetime in which he pursued the sacred Islamic knowledge.

Now this pursuit led him to the Islamic sciences at a very young age and he began this at the age of six by memorizing the entire Quran at the acclaimed Darul Uloom Madaniya in Buffalo, New York. Now by the blessings of Allah, he was able to complete this momentous task in 1999. Having the growing thirst to quench even more knowledge, Mufti Hussain Kamani then traveled across the world to the UK to attain an even more advanced knowledge in the field of Islamic theology.

He studied at Darul Uloom in Burry and the renowned seminary of the great revivalist and scholar of Hadith, Shaiful Hadith Zakaria Khandali. Mufti Kamani completed the traditional six-year course covering the Arabic language, Arabic morphography, traditional Islamic jurisprudence, Tafsir of the Holy Quran. This was all done under the guidance of some of the pioneering scholars in England, which include Sheikh Yusuf Mutalla, Sheikh Bilal, and Sheikh Abdul Rahim bin Dawood amongst others.

Now upon graduation, Mufti Kamani was specially selected to enter a post-graduate level course in Islamic law and law verdicts otherwise known as fatwa. And he completed this course in just two years and received formal authorization in it as well. Following his graduation with top honors, Mufti Kamani went to earn his post-graduate degrees in business and management and strategy at the University of Coventry or the RDI.

Currently, Mufti Hussain Kamani is the Imam of the Islamic Center of Chicago and with the help of Allah, he is constantly working on projects. And these projects and programs that cater not only to the need of the Muslim youth, but also to the general or greater Chicago community. This includes conducting numerous weekly lectures, holding after-school Quran classes, counseling youth, couples, and adults in general, teaching new Muslims, giving dawah to the non-Muslims, and being a senior advocate for the halal awareness and integrity.

Mufti Hussain Kamani is also an instructor in the sacred learning program headed by Sheikh Hussain Abdul Sattar and is a favorite at Darul Hikmah's Weekend Islamic Sciences Academy. He is also a part of the Sharia Board's Fatwa Department and he is one of the scholars that accompanies the Hajj group by Sacred Hajj. He is a well-renowned scholar known throughout the nation.

I have had the honor and the privilege to actually sit through multiple of his lectures and listen to his words of wisdom. So today, it is actually a great honor to present to you Mufti Hussain Kamani.

Today I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen Islam as your religion. (Quran 5:3)

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. And I seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the accursed.

The Importance of Studying the Prophet's Life as a Practical Model

We don't study it just as a story. We don't view the life of the Messenger as superficial, something beyond our reach. When we study the life of the Messenger (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو), it is important that we study it with the intention to bring it into our lives so that we can act upon it. Otherwise there is no benefit in studying this knowledge.

Whenever we study the life of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو), this is extremely important. And the people that lived during the life of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو), this is one of the issues they had with the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو). They saw him as an ordinary person. They didn't see him as a role model, someone unique. And that's why they said:

Why is it that this messenger eats food and walks in the markets? (Quran 25:7)

"Why are we going to follow this person right here? He's a normal man, he walks in the streets, he eats food like we do. He's not... Why should we follow him? Why didn't Allah send an angel?" The reason why Allah did not send an angel with this message was because then we would claim that he is superficial. He is super spiritual. And as an angel, it's possible and easy for him to act upon the deen. And I don't have a human being as a role model to follow.

The Concept of Ittiba' (Following) and Oral Tradition

And that's why the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو), his unique message was this: that anything that he taught, he acted upon it too. That's why we don't only have a written tradition of the deen, but we have an oral tradition of the deen. And Allah taught this to the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو): that anything you teach, make sure you act it out for them.

Therefore we're told not only to listen to the messenger, not only to read his words, but to do ittiba'. And ittiba' is a common word that's used in the Qur'an which is loosely translated as, you know, to follow someone. The root letters of this word ittiba' are taba'im. Tabi'un. And tabi'un is actually a small baby animal.

And the reason why this word "to follow" is derived from this other word which means a small baby animal is because when an animal is born, it does exactly what its mother does. Kind of like monkey see, monkey do. Whatever the animal does, whatever the mother does, the baby will do exactly that. That's why that mother has to be careful that she doesn't run too quickly. That's why that mother has to be careful that she doesn't jump over a lake, because that baby will do that. It won't think twice, it's going to do exactly what its mother did. And if the mother did a long jump which a baby can't do, the baby will make the jump right inside that water. So that mother must be very careful of what it does.

That's why we're told to do ittiba' - follow the Messenger (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو). Our deen is not only a written tradition or something you pick it up from a book and you just read it and you smile and you say "Wow, that was an amazing story, let's put this away." Our deen is an oral tradition that we see what our Messenger did, we read what our Messenger did.

That's why the companions, very few of them narrate hadith saying that I read this in the book of the Prophet (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو). And I read this and I read that. Their account of the life of the Prophet was (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو)

saying (صلى هللا هيلع ملسو) I heard the Messenger of Allah سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ this

(صلى هللا هيلع I saw the Messenger of Allah رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُصَلِّي كَذَا أَوْ يَتَوَضَّأُ كَذَا pray like this or make wudu in this manner

Because this was very important to them, that our deen doesn't only remain - it's not only an academic faith where you just read it and that's it. Our deen is a faith that you implement.

The Oral Nature of Our Ummah

That's why when you look at the first verse revealed in the Qur'an, what's the first word revealed اقرأ Iqra - Read). Your oral tradition is right there. This is all about the oral tradition. This is an ummah-like nation. We don't read or write. The nations of the past were the Ahlul Kitab. They used to read and write. They were the written nation. We are an oral nation. We don't read or write. We are an unlettered nation. And yet we do use writing for our text, but only to preserve it, not as the actual source.

So for those young men and women who love sitting behind their computers and sit on their keyboards and they're the mujtahideen of Google and mujtahideen of YouTube who are doing a lot of ishqihad and

a lot of iftah online and going on and bashing everyone - what do they call them? The web crusaders. The web crusaders out there and battling with everyone. We want to tell you something: that this deen is not something that's learned only through books. This deen is learned through being in the company of a teacher.

Had it been learned through books, our messenger was smart to read a book. But Allah even sent him a teacher, Jibreel (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ). And not only did he learn from Jibreel (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ), but Jibreel (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ) squeezed him three times very, very carefully. And each time the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) felt that he was going to die, transferring that knowledge. Allah didn't prevent us from reading. He gave us the option to read. But the primary source of learning the deen is through observation.

The Importance of Companionship (Sohbah) in Learning

That's what Allah tells us. Young guys they call all the time. Two nights ago I was at home, 11:30, I was about to go to sleep, and I get a phone call. And I answered the call. I said, yes brother. He said, I'm calling from Canada. I said, okay, how can I help you? So he said, Sheikh, there are times to call with particular questions and there are times to call with particular questions. If you ask me how do you gain ihsan in sleeping, I'll show you right now. You're asking me how to gain ihsan in salah and I'm about to lie down in my bed. Anyway, so we started this conversation.

And we started going on this, and I explained to him that ihsan is a high level of spirituality. And this high level of spirituality, which can also be referred to as taqwa, the high level of consciousness of Allah which then manifests itself, is gained through companionship. This is gained through being in the company of someone who has it.

That's why Allah says:

O those who believe, be God conscious and be with the righteous and the pious people (Quran 9:119)

Because this deen is gained through sohbah. The companions of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) they didn't just read books. They are called companions. We don't call them the scholars. We don't call them the students. When we call the people who lived during the life of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) what do we refer to them as? Sahaba. What's the definition of a sahabi? Someone who has companionship.

The Modern Problem: Seeking Knowledge Without Companionship

Today in America, the biggest tragedy that we have is that everyone wants to be a scholar without companionship. That's the big problem. The problem is everyone wants to be a scholar. They say where can I go and get a one year crash course and become a scholar? Where can I go and do a two year crash course and become big time real quick? Where can I do an online course and really hit it quick? I want to

become the next khateeb. I want to give the next tafsir class. I want that sheikh to be out of there because I'm going to outstep. Everyone's planning to become big scholars, but no one knows the pathway of getting that knowledge. That knowledge is gained through sohbah. It's gained through being with your teacher.

Because you don't only learn the deen through its written tradition. The written tradition is only a part of our deen, strictly for the sake of preservation. During the life of the prophet, none of the sciences were written down. Nothing. He initiated the formal copy to be written down during his khilafah. And then later on Umar bin Abdul Aziz ordered that the hadith should be written down. And later on Imam Hanifah's student Imam Muhammad, he wrote fiqh down. And then the scholars of Kufa wrote qiraat down. They began to write it down only as a fear of preservation.

And Abu Bakr Siddiq, the only reason why he actually even compiled the Quran in a written form - what was the reason? Because the battle of Yamama took place. And after the battle of Yamama, many sahaba were killed who had memorized the Quran. And Abu Bakr Siddiq feared that maybe the preservation maybe someone will make a false allegation against the preservation of the Quran. So we will not write it down. It was strictly for preservation purposes.

The Four Types of Following Deen

That's why Allah - is it the fourth verse that came fourth? The first verse that came was... But don't only read. Because when you read, when you go to read, you have to understand. You can easily be misguided too. When you read, you don't only read. You learn the deen in the name of the lord. You don't just learn the deen to feed your own desires and feed your own whims. Because many of us when we learn the deen, we learn it with hidden agendas.

Shaykh Ashraf al-Thanawi, he said something very profound. He said that there are four types of people who follow the deen. How many types of people? Four types of people. He goes the first type of deen that people follow is what we call deen-e-mizaji. The second is what we call deen-e-riwaji. The third is what we call deen-e-shari'i. And the fourth is what we call deen-e-haqiqi.

He says there are four types of people who follow the deen. The first person, his deen is what we call deen-e-mizaji. The deen is whatever I want. The deen is going to be what I want it to be. I want this. Okay, Shaykh, please, this $50 note, can you please tailor me a fatwa? It's kind of like we're going to the tailor to get a kurta sewn or something. I want this done, can you please give me a fatwa here? They call it fatwa shopping. They'll go fatwa shopping, find exactly what they need for their deen to make them happy because their deen is actually based off their whims and their desires.

The second type of people, they act upon their deen - and we talked about this earlier on in the university where the lecture was, where I was talking about how today deen has been hijacked by culture. As long as our deen matches our culture, Alhamdulillah, everyone's happy. But the second deen contradicts our

culture, which side of the line are we on? That's the question. Are we on the side of culture or are we on the side of deen?

The Example of Cultural Compromise

Last night, one young man was sitting with me and he said to me, Shaykh, I'm getting married next year and I'm having a very tough time right now. And she's a beautiful girl, an amazing sister, I'm very happy with her. But the issue is that she refuses to hold a divider in the marriage. I want the men to be on one side, the sisters should be on another side, but she refuses. No, it's going to be a mixed gathering.

I said, okay, is there any other issue? He said that she is insisting that music will be played. So then I said, okay, look, music being played or not, mixed gathering or not - does she acknowledge these things are haram? She knows they're haram. Everyone knows they're haram. It's kind of like saying the sun is going to rise tomorrow morning. Everyone knows these things are haram. But the reason why... I said, why is she saying that she wants these things? He said, because culturally her family and my family will never accept this marriage then.

It's an eye opener for us. And maybe most of us sitting here right now, we fall into this category. The deen didn't come so we can boss and bully the deen around. Wallahi, that wasn't the purpose of the deen. The deen came to subdue our intellect to us as creation in front of the creator. That's the maqsad of wahi. The purpose of wahi isn't to twist the wahi and twist its arm the way we want it to be. The purpose of wahi is that we twist ourselves down in front of Allah, and whatever Allah says, we say in return that oh Allah, we have heard this, and oh Allah, we will be obedient, and we will act upon what you say. This is a very important introduction right here. It's very important.

Okay, let me finish off these four things. The third type of deen, Shaykh Ashraf al-Thanawi says, is what he calls deen al-shari'i. So the first type of people, they act upon their deen based off their nafs. The second type of people act upon their deen based off their culture. The third type of people, they act upon their deen based off halal and haram. What's halal, they'll do. What's haram, they'll stay away from. They'll go to the shaykh and say, is it halal? He'll say yes, they'll do it. Is it sunnah? He'll say, brother, is this permissible? He'll say, it's not fardh but it's sunnah. Okay, I don't need to do that. They'll act upon the halal and stay away from the haram. So for them, the deen is just like a law book. You do what you're told to do. You stay away from what you're told to stay away from.

Then he says, however, the real deen is what he calls deen al-haqiqi. Deen al-haqiqi is where you don't play the law game against Allah. Rather, your life is an exact copy of that of Muhammad (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا لَص). Every single thing he did, every single thing he said, the way he ate, the way he sat down, the way he dealt with people, you literally mimic every action of his.

The Perfect Imitation of the Sahaba

Until the point where the sahaba were so great at this, they were so perfect at doing this, that a visitor (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) would come inside the gathering of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا) Muhammad (بَلَّص) is sitting in that gathering, and the sahaba are sitting in that gathering. And you know what question this person asks? If someone comes in this gathering and says "Who is the shaykh?"

You know, put on another 50-60 pounds and there's no problem, everyone will know that's the shaykh right there. The shaykh is the guy that's sitting at the front. He looks very, mashallah, proper. It's very easy to spot out your scholars. Honestly, it's not hard at all.

Now this person comes to the gathering of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص). If you walked inside a room where the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) was sitting, honestly, how long do you think it would take you to spot him out? You'd know it, everybody. You'd know that that's the messenger there.

And the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) was such a degree that the visitor would come in the masjid and what would he ask? That was his question: "Which one of you is Muhammad (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)?" And they would say Muhammad (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) was right there.

The Story of Abu Bakr's Recognition

Abu Bakr as-Siddiq when he completed the migration with the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)and when they arrived in Medina Munawwara, they arrived at Quba. They stayed there for a few days. They prayed their first Juma'ah Salah with the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص), and the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) arrived a little late.

Because the people in Medina Munawwara, they were waiting for the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) to arrive. And every morning after Fajr Salah, they would sit there all the way until Dhuhr time. And when Dhuhr time would come in, it would be too hot, so they would return back home, pray Dhuhr Salah. And the next day they would come after Fajr Salah again to wait for the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)

The Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص), when he arrived with Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, they arrived at a time where everyone just left. The Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, when they arrived, there was one Jewish man. He was sitting in a tree, Abdullah bin Salam. Later on he became Muslim. He began to scream, "Oh the man we were waiting for just came!" So everyone came running back to meet the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص).

Now when they arrived there, meanwhile, the Prophet (مَلَّسُو) (هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) and Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, they sat down. And when everyone came, they were like, who is the Prophet? Which one is the Prophet? Is it Abu Bakr or is it Muhammad (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)? Because they copied him to such a degree, they literally became mirror images of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص)

And when Abu Bakr as-Siddiq saw this, that people were confused, he immediately stood up. He took his upper garment and he began to shade the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص) from the sun to show who is the Khadim and who is the Makhdoom - who is a servant and who is the one being serviced. And then people saw, oh that's Muhammad (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص).

That's the nation that we need. That's the people, that's the type of people we need - people who submit themselves to the sunnah of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص).

The Danger of Personal Opinions in Religious Matters

Now when we study the life of the Prophet (مَلَّسُو هِيْلَع هَللا بَلَّص), we have to understand that he is the perfect role model. So keeping in the context all the stuff I said, you and I can't sit here and dictate what the Deen is.

You know the most saddest thing that I have seen in my life, and that I see happen again and again, is when we're sitting together at a dinner table at someone's house, and we're discussing a Fiqh issue or a matter of the Deen, and random people start saying, "this is my opinion." It really upsets me.

The reason why it upsets me is because it feels like you would never have the audacity to make such a statement in the gathering of lawyers and you would say, "this is my opinion, this is what the state law should be." You would sound like a fool. You're sitting in front of guys who fight the UFC and you say, "you know what, my opinion is that the headlock should be this way." You guys say, "Pindu get out of here man, what are you talking about? What do you know about this? What do you know about fighting? You go cook your roti at home."

And now we have people in our community who want to share their opinion regarding the Deen. If you have qualifications in the Deen, then marhaban bikum, of course. Then what more are we waiting for? We should have discussion, discussion is very healthy. It's a great part of our Deen. We don't just hijack the minbar and say, "this is my opinion." We always have discussion, this is a part of our rich tradition, our legacy. But we only accept discussion, we only accept input from those people who have some sort of expertise in the field.

Different Definitions of Deen

So most of us, we want to sit down and say, this is what the Deen is. For some people, we've defined Deen as whatever happens in the masjid. Outside the masjid, it's nothing to do with the Deen. Whatever happens in the masjid is Deen.

For certain people, the Deen is just having a good heart. What do they say? "You have a good heart, Allah will take care of everything else, don't worry about it. Brother, you want to drink some sharab, just drink it. You want to eat haram kebab, eat this too. Whatever you want, enjoy your life. You just make sure you have a good heart."

And then mashaAllah, every group has their support from the Quran:

Except he who comes to Allah with a sound heart

Everyone brings a daleel.

The Example of the Khawarij

Everyone does, you know the Khawarij? They hated Ali. The reason why they hated Ali was because Ali - we were talking about this earlier on today too - they hated Ali. The reason why they hated him was because Ali gave a verdict that they didn't like. He decided to postpone the revenge of the murder of Uthman. The Khawarij didn't like that, they got very mad. So they said that Ali is giving a verdict against the Quran. And if he's giving a verdict against the Quran, that means he's a kafir, which means he's wajib al-qatal. So we have to go kill Ali. Look at this logic, it's so foolish.

And then when they were called to discussion, they actually supported their view from an ayat of the Quran. And which ayat of the Quran did they use?

"That there is no judgment but that which belongs to Allah. And Ali is giving judgment against Allah's word, that's why we're going to kill him."

And Ali, when he heard this, what did he say? He said:

A true word by which falsehood is intended

That their statement is right, the verse of the Quran he's quoting is authentic hadith, mashallah. It's an authentic verse of the Quran, no one's going to doubt that at all. But the meaning you're taking from this verse of the Quran is completely false.

And then these people, they made the plan. Three of them gathered together on the 17th of Ramadan inside the haram, and they made a plan to kill three great people: Amr ibn Aas, Mu'awiyah, Ali ibn Abi Talib. And the one who was assigned to kill Ali, his name was Ibn Muljim. He then arrived in Madinah Munawwara and each of these people went their own ways in Syria and different places, wherever these three men were, because they were going to do a triple assassination at the same time. They made a day that this day will be the assassination day. It will happen while the person leaves his house in the morning on the way to Fajr Salah.

And Ibn Muljim, he stood outside the house of Ali. And as soon as Ali came out, he whacked Ali right on the head and he split his head into pieces. And later on that day, Ali, he passed away from this. Within a few hours that day, Ali passed away.

So everyone has their support from the deen. MashaAllah we're very good at that. We're very good at quoting things out of context and supporting ourselves and making our way strong so we can have a good presentation in front of people. But that shouldn't be the point. The point should be that when you study the deen, understand it through the tradition of the Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم - sallu alayhi wasalam).

The Comprehensive Nature of Islam

Some people they like defining the deen as whatever takes place in the masjid. Some people like defining the deen that the deen is whatever takes place in the heart. That's it. But we don't realize that the deen is beyond that. The deen is very wide. And the deen doesn't only want us to be good inside the masjid, but it also wants us to be good outside the masjid. The deen doesn't only want us to be good inside the market. The deen wants us to be good as teachers.

The Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم - sallu alayhi wasalam) not only taught us how to be good outside the house. He taught us how to be perfect role models inside the house. And this was the beautiful thing about the Prophet Muhammad (صلى هللا عليه وسلم - sallu alayhi wasalam). Usually these things are taught by the parents. Who teaches a child to be so perfect in every aspect? Whose responsibility is that usually? The parents.

But for the Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم - sallu alayhi wasalam), he grew up without parents. And his tarbiyah, his upbringing was done directly by Allah. And that's why the Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم)'s tarbiyah was the most excellent. His tarbiyah was perfect, his upbringing was perfect. And Allah then praised the Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم) by saying:

And indeed, you are of a great moral character

That indeed you are on the sublime character, you have the perfect character.

The Prophet's Character Inside the House

That people will come to Aisha. The Prophet (صلى هللا عليه وسلم - sallu alayhi wasalam) told us that if you want to gauge a person's character, don't look at them outside the house, look at them inside the house. Find out how they are inside the house. Because outside the house it's very easy to put on a smile, wave at everyone, put on nice garments, put on good perfume. Everyone you meet, give them a big smile,