The Importance of Women in Islam

The Importance of Women in Islam

Opening Greetings

Assalamualaikum.

The Divine Institution of Marriage

I think it's first off very important to recognize that marriage is a bond that was established by Allah between the male and the female. And it's interesting that in America now there's even a debate about marriages between same sex. I mean, this is the level of degradation that the human species has arrived at. Because marriage itself is a prophetic tradition. It was given to human beings through prophecy, through revelation.

And so the bonding of a male and a female is done through the gift that Allah gave them which is called Nikah. And the Prophet ﷺ said that he was the son of Nikah and he was not the son of Sifah. He was the son of a lawful marriage and not the son of fornication or any adultery.

This is a hadith which indicates that even though the Arabs before who had the traditions that they had, the marriages were recognized. And this is why Islam recognizes the marriages of people before they become Muslim, when they enter into Islam. They do not have to redo their marriage contract. That Islam does recognize it unless it's a woman who embraces Islam in which her marriage to a non-Muslim man is annulled if he does not embrace Islam with her. But other than that, the marriage is recognized because it is a contract which was given to human beings through prophecy. So it is a divine contract from Allah.

The Meaning of Family in Arabic

Now the next thing to note is that the word in Arabic, there are many words in Arabic for family but the basic word that's used is Usrah which relates to Asirah, to bind. You get the same word Asir which is a prisoner. Families in a sense, we're prisoners. Once we were born into a family, we're prisoners to that family. You cannot choose to disown your parents. Your parents are your parents until you die. They're your parents. Even in the next world, they're still your parents. So there's a type of binding that happens that really we're binded to it in a way that is not flexible.

Now also, the word related to children is often Ayal which is Ayal is a dependent, somebody in need. The word for Tifl in Arabic, the child, in its root meaning it has to do with parasitic action. In other words, the child itself is completely dependent like the parasite is dependent on the host body, a child is dependent on the family. Now the other word Tifla which is related to clay that is malleable. So a child is a malleable entity within the family and also in society.

The Responsibility of Parents

Now Allah has given Takleef of parents.

Allah has told you that you must take care of your children. And Aulad in the Arabic language relates to both the male and the female. Unlike Ibnah which are generally males in the Arabic language, Aulad, Alwalad relate to the male and the female. And so the male and the female children are our responsibility. Allah has made it incumbent upon parents.

Now Qadi, the great scholar from North Africa, Ibn Al-Haj in his Madkhal has a section on Tarbiyyat Al-Aulad. And the importance of Tarbiyyat Al-Aulad of nurturing children. Tarbiyyat means to nurture. The name of Allah which is Rabb Al-Alamin is related in its root form according to some of the semantics in Arabic to Tarbiyyat, the one who nurtures, the one who literally يُرَبِّي He grows and causes to fashion.

So Allah is the Murabbi of His creation. And He has made the parents the Murabbi of the next generation. And this is why in the Qur'an Allah when He speaks about the parents, He will say after saying and be grateful to Allah and to your parents.

And this is a very significant thing that Allah has literally put the haq of the parents next to the haq of Allah in showing gratitude because they are the means and the one that does not thank the means has not thanked the giver of the means. So Allah has commanded us to respect already a... Subhanallah. This is the age of television. You know, you can't say anything. It's a commercial. I should just get up and have a commercial because this is sound bites. There's no substantive... Mashallah.

The Crisis of Modern Society

It's a big topic. We're in a crisis situation. The Americans are in a crisis situation. Their society is literally going to hell before their eyes. Really, it's going there. You know, not in this world, not in the next world. That's later. In this world. They're living in hell. This is where they are. They're in a very dangerous situation. And the amazing thing about it is it's happening and they're all watching it happen.

Allah says:

That He told them, enjoy life temporarily. And then they transgressed the commands of their Lord. And so the Sa'iqah took them. Suddenly with great ferociousness and fierceness they were seized by the punishment of Allah. And then Allah says وَهُمْ يَنْظُرُونَ They were watching it happen before their very eyes. فَمَا اسْتَطَاعُوا مِنْ قِيَامٍ

They couldn't even do anything about it. وَمَا كَانُوا مُنْتَصِرِينَ They couldn't help themselves, nor could they get help from anyone else. This is the condition of these people.

The Destructive Elements in Society

They're watching it happen. They know that television is one of the most destructive elements in this society. How can you compete with eight hours in these state schools which you can see there are places in which drugs are sold, there are places in which promiscuity is taught to the men and the women, in which modesty is removed completely.

We have a culture in which modesty is honored. We have a culture in which a child that displays modesty, this is seen as a good thing. That a woman who lowers her gaze and a man who lowers the gaze, these are attributes of excellent people, of fine people.

No, this society sees modesty as a neurosis. And I can tell you, we can ask the psychiatrist for his opinion. They see modesty as a neurosis. Something that needs to be cured, overcome. That deals with some trauma from the original incestual crisis of their family situation. The first... I mean, this is what, it's all crazy. All this Freudian madness. And he's saying, these people are diseased, really. So this is their suffering.

Following the Path of Misguidance

And we, the Muslims, are literally following them down the lizard's hole. Like the Prophet, down the lizard's hole. We're going. So we have to literally stop, turn around, and reassess our situation.

The Prohibition of Burying Daughters

We, our women, are completely... Really, wa'ad al banat. Allah prohibited burying the women alive. Allah says:

Do you keep her alive in subjugation and humiliation? Or do you bury her in the earth out of shame? What a wretched thing you're using your judgment. And this is what we're doing. Our women, literally, what's going on? Wa'ad al banat can be ma'nawi as well. We don't just bury the female child alive in dirt. We bury them in the type of environment in which they grow up in. In which males are raised up. In which males are praised over the women. We have double standards in our communities. Really, we have double standards.

You know, look, I mean, this is, I'm not... Huh? Subhanallah. Huh? They're, you know, they're very patient. It's by the rahmah of Allah that Allah made them patient. Because most of us, we'd end up poisoned or something like that. Really, I don't want to give them any ideas. But it's the truth. Allah put rahmah and patience in these women. Really, patience. Centuries of this stuff's been going on. Jahiliyya. Jahiliyya tul ula. It just keeps showing up again and again.

The Prophet's Example with Children

The Prophet ﷺ came to get rid of all this stuff. It's wretched. It's netin. He told us it's foul. It stinks. It smells. And look at the suffering. Look at the degradation. Look at this planet we're living on. Look at the condition of our children.

I hear people, the way the parents speak to their children is unbelievable. The Prophet ﷺ, he was so gentle with children. They're little creatures that have no blemish. They have no taklif. We begin to teach them taklif at the age of seven, before seven. What is the wrong? What's the dhanb that they've done? That we call them names. We give them alqab. Allah commands us not to call adults names. And calling children names. And I saw it when I lived in the Arabian world. It's unbelievable.

The way children are treated. Using the degraded words. Himar and donkey. Calling children donkeys and things like this. The Prophet ﷺ called them by their father's names. To honor them, he raised them up. He used to stop on the road and talk to the little children. Put his hand on their head. This is the best of creation. The Prophet of Allah. We have to honor our children. Really.

The Rights of Children

Ibn Qayyim says that Allah has enjoined upon us the rights of children. Before he enjoined upon the children the rights of their parents. And when a man came to Sayyidina Ali and he said, My child is in gross disrespect to me. And he said, How did you treat it when it was young? He said, I neglected it. He said, Then what do you expect? What do you expect now?

And this is what happens in America. We're neglecting our children. You look at these young people. You're the good people in America. This is representative of a lot of the strong practicing Muslims. What about the other Muslims out there? This is a small portion of what's in this country. We have millions of Muslims in this country right now. And we're dealing with... And if you look at our children and some of the situations. It's frightening. It's really frightening. They're being completely absorbed into this wretched culture. This pseudo culture. Losing their identities completely.

So, you know, I have no more time. I'm out.

Addressing Questions from Youth

So I have... There's several questions here that have come from youth. I think which are important to address. They're basically saying the same thing. This one says, I'm stuck in the situation that you described. I'm a good Muslim. And yet, but I get absorbed in the society. Because I get depressed from my mother. Her bad language. Her beating me. And my American friends tell me to leave. Home. There you go. And that's part of the tragic situation. The... Another one.

I'm an 18 year old sister. I have a terrible relationship with my father. I want to get close. But he moves away from me. He hits me to this day. I feel like I have no more patience. I don't know what to do anymore. How

should I deal with all this abuse?

These aren't... You know, this is what's coming up. And it's all over. It's rife in our communities. We're not dealing with it. We're in a lot of denial about the situations in our communities.

Dealing with Abuse in Muslim Communities

Muslims traditionally are people that don't display the dirty laundry. We certainly don't want to go into the Oprah Winfrey syndrome. Or these talk show type situations. Where you just dump it all out. That's not our way either. We're people that believe in sitar, in veiling. We don't expose the faults of our brothers and sisters and our families. But the situations have to be dealt with. Because they're dangerous. They're dangerous for the heart.

I personally have very, very... Well, it's very hard for me to find any compassion in my heart or respect for people. Particularly males that resort to physical abuse when dealing with children or women. The Prophet ﷺ, who's the best example, never once raised his hand to a child or a woman.

For people who desire Allah. They want a reward from Allah. They believe in the يوم الحساب when Allah will take people to account for their oppression. And they do much remembrance of Allah.

The Role of Anger and Remembrance

If you're not remembering Allah, then shaitan is the one you remember. And shaitan, his best weapon is anger. This is what shaitan uses. If you look, Ibn Ashur, Tahir Ibn Ashur, the great Tunisian scholar, one of the greatest scholars of this century, in his book on المقاصد and in his تفسير, relates to the verse in سورة النساء that the actual verses dealing with the domestic violence are, if you look at them and understand them, the purpose behind them is to eliminate domestic violence. This is what he said is the مقصد of the شريعة The intention behind the شريعة is to eliminate domestic violence.

Why? Because it took a jahili people, a deeply patriarchal culture, a culture that was used to treating women like chattel, property. This is a fact, with the exception of aristocratic women. The lower class women were treated like property.

And Sayyidina Umar even said كُنَّا نَعْدُّ النِّسَاءَ مَنْ الْبَهَائِمِ We used to look at women like beasts of burden until we saw what the Qur'an was revealing in them and elevating their status.

Understanding the Verses on Domestic Relations

And so, the ayahs, if you look at them, Allah commands, first of all, that there's وعظ. There has to be admonition. And نُشُوز which is what Allah says is the only time for this. نُشُوز is gross disobedience. نُشُوز is not that they didn't make dinner that night, right? Which according to some of the imams isn't even wajib on the