Teaching Children About Prayer

Teaching Children About Prayer - Dr. Bilal Philips

Opening

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى أَشْرَفِ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ وَالْمُرْسَلِينَ، نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ

Khutbat al-Hajah (Sermon of Necessity)

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ، نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا ، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ،

وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ

"O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims."

"O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer."

"O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice. He will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment."

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللهِ، وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا، وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ، وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ

ضَلَالَةٌ، وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

Introduction: The Days of Eid and New School Year

Alhamdulillah, Allah has brought us through those days of Eid in which He ordained for us a time of happiness, a time of reflection, and a time of thanksgiving. And for those on Hajj, it was the completion of the rites of Hajj. And we pray that Allah accept those who are sincere, accept their Hajj, and purify them from sin as the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) promised.

But for us here, and for those returning, we are about to start a new year of school. Schools that have been out for the summer will be starting back in the coming week or two. The question is, what have we done for our

children? We are about to put them back in school.

And education is a necessity. However, have we focused on the most important elements of their education or have we focused on the least important? Because, when people speak about educating children, we're talking about the schools that we're going to put them in, what status is the school, private school, government school, low class, high class, expensive, cheap, and what we want them to do when they graduate, what university we want them to go in, what field we want them to specialize in, what we want them to become. Usually it's some mirror of ourselves.

If we're doctors, we want our kids to be doctors. If we're engineers, we want our kids to be engineers, etc. But, Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) he told us that the first thing that we should teach our children is salah.

The Prophetic Command: Teaching Children Salah

In a very famous hadith, authentically collected in the sunan of al-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood, Amr ibn Shu'ayb narrates that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) had said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

Teach your children salah by the time they reach seven.

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

And spank them for it by the time they're ten.

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

And separate them from the age of ten onwards in their beds.

Sunan al-Tirmidhi and Sunan Abi Dawood

Don't let them sleep together. So, Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) he gave us the basic way by which we start the education of our children. Teaching them salah by the time they're seven.

And teaching them salah by the time they're seven doesn't mean that at age seven we now start to teach them salah. It means that by age seven they should have learned the salah. Many of us mistake this hadith.

We've heard it. But then we think, okay, we'll start to teach them salah at seven. But no, no.

We should have taught them salah by the time they're seven. They will begin to imitate us from the time they're two. From the time they're two years old, when we stand in the home to pray, we will find them trying to do what we do, imitating us.

And as they get older, they will be more consistent. Then they will come with us to the masjids. So, if we give them the opportunity.

If we don't give them the opportunity, of course they'll stay home. Maybe they will pray whenever the wives pray at home. Or their elder brothers and sisters pray.

They will get up and pray with them. So, that nature is already there. To imitate.

So we don't need to leave things to the age of seven.

The Example of a Young Companion Leading Prayer

And one of the companions of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) he had mentioned that he and a group from his tribe had gone to learn from the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) to accept Islam on behalf of their tribe or clan. And to learn so they could go back and teach their clan.

So they were young people. So they came, they stayed for about 20 days with the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) Learned from him. Then they went back.

And he said that when the time for prayer came, they looked around amongst themselves based on what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) had said regarding who should lead salah. And he had told them that the one who should lead salah is the one who knows the most Quran. And he said, when we looked around, it turned out that I knew the most Quran.

So I led my people in prayer. And of course the people then, they only just learned what prayer was. They had accepted Islam on behalf of the whole tribe.

They came back, told them. So now they just had to follow the instructions of these young people. And he said, I led my people in salah from that day onwards.

He remained their imam from that day onwards. And he said, I was about 6 or 7 years old at the time. I was about 6 or 7 years old at the time.

Most of us come from communities where if a 6 year old boy wanted to lead the prayer, you definitely would not accept it. You say, what is this? Nobody would accept it. They would remove him.

In some communities he's not even allowed to stand in the front line along with everybody else. But this is a sahabi, a companion of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) relating to us what he did, what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) instructed him, and his companions to do. And so he led the salah.

And to lead the salah, it means you have to know what is involved in the salah. It's not just you know the movements. You need to know what is to be said, when it is to be said.

If you make a mistake, what you should do. If you break your wudu, what you should do. There are different elements that are involved in the salah.

He had learned it. And he led his people. So, it is our responsibility to ensure that our children learn the prayer.

The Danger of Delaying

Don't delay it. Many people fall, pray to Satan. Satan will whisper in your ear, he's just a little kid.

Let him enjoy. It's not obligatory for him until he's 13 or 14, puberty. That's when it's obligatory.

Let him enjoy. No need to tell him about prayer and that. Let him do if he feels like, doesn't feel like, whatever.

And so, many of us do that. We leave them until puberty. And of course, if the child all the way up until age 13 has been just doing his own thing.

If he felt like it, he would pray. If he didn't feel like it, he wouldn't pray. Now you're gonna come and tell him, pray.

You've got a fight on your hands. This is a kid now who's not used to pray. Except when he feels like it.

And now you want him to pray five times a day, on time. And that's the obligation. It's not obligatory on him.

He's reached puberty. And of course, he rebels. And you struggle with him and you say, What is this kid? Shaytan has taken him over his head.

Must be his school. Must be his playmates. Must be this, must be that.

Must be all these different reasons why he's not praying. But the real reason is, you didn't follow the instruction of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam). That's the real reason. In ignorance, maybe nobody ever told you that.

So you went with what was the common understanding of people. People around you did the same thing. And of course, Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) had said, Spank them for it by the time they're ten.

So now he's thirteen. So now you pull out the whip and you're starting to beat him to make salah. And he may pray, if you've hit him enough times.

He will pray when you're around. But if you're not around, he won't. So you have not taught him anything.

You've only forced him to pray when you are around. That's all. And how many of us have gone through that?

Only years later, after being negligent in our prayers and going astray, by Allah's mercy, we found our way back.

And we started to pray and learn the prayer and attend the masjid, etc, etc. But there's that gap, that huge gap of our youth.

The Lost Opportunity: Youth Devoted to Worship

A time when Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) had said that there are seven groups of people who would be shaded by the throne of Allah on the day of judgment, resurrection and judgment, when there would be no shade except for the shade of his throne.

And one of them is what?

A young person, puberty, who grows up through his teens into his twenties, worshipping Allah.

Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 660 and Sahih Muslim Hadith 1031

We have denied that child or we were denied that opportunity to be among those shaded by Allah's throne. We denied them the chance for Jannah.

It's not to say that is the only chance. But that was a huge step. That was Jannah on a plate.

If we had only, our parents had only done the job. Followed the instructions of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم - ṣallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam). So we need to put our priorities in place. The priority is to teach our children Salah.

Teaching Salah Properly: Not Programming a Robot

And that process of teaching them Salah is not merely the movements of Salah and the words of Salah. We can program a robot to make Salah. That's not what we're talking about teaching our children Salah.

Not programming a robot. We're talking about teaching. And teaching involves understanding, proper teaching involves understanding.

So this is what we need to give them. When they first start the prayer and they're able to communicate with us, they already know, we have already told them, they've heard us say it enough times, Allah. Allah created us.

Everything we have was given to us by Allah. So when we're getting up to pray, what are we doing? We're thanking Allah. That much they can understand.

That's how we talk to Allah and we thank Allah. That's the understanding that we want to give them, for them to grasp that.

This is how we communicate with Allah and we thank Him.

We need to give them that understanding because if they have that understanding, and Allah deserves to be thanked, just as they like to be thanked, we can give them those examples. You know when you do a good thing and somebody says thank you, how do you feel? Good. Better.

It makes you want to do more. Well, thank Allah. He'll give you more.

Allah said it in the Quran. But it's enough for you to tell them He will give you more, you do that. Just like you will give more if somebody does that, He'll give you more too.

So you give him or her, the child, the understanding which is suitable for their age level, that their brains can grasp. But that's most important. The movements, not so critical.

Learning How to Pray Correctly

When we're going to teach the children the prayer itself, there is one point we need to keep in mind. We have to make sure that we know how to pray properly. Because there's a lot of us here doing all kinds of things.

And the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Source Name)

Pray as you saw me pray.

Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 631

But there's a lot of us here who are not praying the way that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ prayed. We're praying our own way.

Our own version. We really have no idea how we pray. Many of us here, if I was to ask them, Okay, exactly what are you doing? How do you actually make that prayer? Well, I do it this way, I do this, I do that.

Did the Prophet ﷺ do these things? I think so. This is not knowledge. This is inherited culture and tradition.

We now have Google. In the past, okay, you had excuses that there was nobody around to teach me. No people of knowledge available.

Now we have Shaykh Google. We just have to get on the internet. Prayer of the Prophet.

The prayer as he prayed. According to hadith. And you'll find the sites.

The one which tells you the Prophet ﷺ did this. Recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim.

Because you might say, Okay, there are many sites you go there.

Prayer of the Prophet. And they're all saying this, this, this. Some of them are saying different thises and that.

So which one should you know? Go for. You go for the one that says The Prophet ﷺ stood up and raised his hands to the level of his shoulder or to the level of his ears. Recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim.

The one which says when you stand up, you put your hands, fingers behind your ear. No hadith. Touch your ear.

No hadith. Avoid that one. Go to the one that says, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim.

They're giving you where you can go back and check it. You can then Google, just to be sure for yourself. You can then Google, Raising the hands in Salah, Bukhari, Muslim.

Little bit of research. They will give you the hadith and the whole text of the hadith, read it. Be sure.

Because you're gonna go and teach your children Salah. So, shouldn't you teach them the correct way?

Does It Really Matter?

Does it really matter? Yes. If the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Source Name)

Pray as you saw me pray.

Sahih al-Bukhari Hadith 631

Then it means it's important.

The Prophet's Demonstration on the Minbar

One day in the masjid, when the companions were waiting for the prayer, after the prayer, the Fajr prayer, Prophet ﷺ he got up and walked up the minbar, like up here, with his back to them. And he said, Allahu Akbar.

They're watching him. The minbar. And the minbar is not as big as this one here.

Even though this one is kind of tight. Need to arrange to have it made a little bigger. There was no place to make sujood.

So of course in their minds, they're waiting to see what's happening now. Is the Prophet ﷺ going to show us a new Salah? He said, Allahu Akbar. He went into ruku'a.

He said, Allahu lillahi ma'a l-hamidah. He came out of ruku'a. Then he backed down the steps of the minbar till he reached the ground.

And he walked out backwards, away from the base of the minbar. And he made sujood. Sat up.

Sujood. Stood up. And walked back up the minbar again.

And did the second ruku'a. You can imagine everybody in the masjid was watching Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Wow. This was very strange.

After he finished, then he turned to them. And they were all, of course, waiting. What is this, Ya Rasulallah ﷺ? He said, I only did that so that you can learn the way that I pray.

So is it important to know the way the Prophet ﷺ prayed? I think so. I think so. It's important.

So if we are going to teach our children the salah, then at least we need to know how to make salah properly. That's basic. In Arabic they say:

If you don't have anything, you can't give it. You can only give what you have.

Our Duty and Dua

So, let us fulfill this duty to our children. This responsibility which Allah has placed on our shoulders. The future of our children depends on our prioritizing their education. I ask Allah to forgive our negligence where we have neglected this responsibility.

And to forgive our parents who also neglected and put us in this situation that we're in now. And I ask Allah to give us the strength and the courage to go and correct the mistakes of the past. And to find out how to pray as the Prophet ﷺ prayed.

And to pass that on to our families and our relatives, our friends and our neighbors.

Second Khutbah: Practical Teaching Methods

As I mentioned, teaching salah is priority. The process of teaching is not an easy one.

Letting them imitate is no problem. Anybody can do that. Okay, you want to stand beside me, pray, whatever.

No problem. But actually teaching them, because teaching them means you have to also teach them Fatiha. You have to teach them wudu.

Because teaching salah doesn't just mean you know the movements and then you don't know how to make wudu. They're going to make salah without wudu. Well, maybe at the age of seven there's no problem.

Salah without wudu is not a problem. So when actually we're starting to teach them, we don't want to make a big deal about wudu and take them. And now you have to learn every movement of wudu in order and... He's only three years old.

She's only three years old. If she just wet some things and get some things wet and others not quite wet, it's okay. You know, we have to teach them gradually.

Focus on the salah, the wudu can be focused on after. So we give them little bit by little bit. And we don't stay over their heads.

You know, you have to memorize Fatiha.

If they say:

Okay, Alhamdulillah.

That's good. That's as much as they can do. Don't force them.

Take it easy. Because otherwise you try to force them, you turn them off. You repeat, Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah. Come on, please. Take it easy.

It's just a little kid. So we do it as best as they can. Improving it as time goes along.

Reward-Based Teaching

And then what we can do is we give them some reward when they do it. Right. Reward.

Because we tend to teach by just you have to slapping all these other things. Because that's how we grew up. That's how our parents dealt with us.

But the Prophet ﷺ said:

Ten. That's when you can start spanking. There are only three.

No need to be spanking at that time. Win them through reward and punishment. Reward mainly.

Punishment means just depriving them of something at that stage. Not spanking. So you give them.

If they see that they do it right, they get a reward. Believe me, they will try their best to do it right. That's their nature.

So we use proper educational techniques. And inshallah they will learn the salah early. And they will amaze you.

They will amaze you. So let's try to do it in the best way. Learn from those who have studied this.

Taught this. The best way that our children will grow up Praying correctly and loving salah. That inshallah they can fulfill what we failed to fulfill with regards to salah.

Making Salah Pleasurable

When the Prophet ﷺ told Bilal, Make the adhan. Give us a break with salah. Rest.

Comfort with salah. Not salah, a duty. You have to pray at this time.

Have to pray. But salah which is pleasurable. Make salah pleasurable.

And of course, beyond that, we have to consider their other levels of education. And that Allah willing, I will talk about in another khutbah to come. But for now, let us focus on our primary responsibility with regards to our own children.

And if we don't have children, at least your brother or your sister has children. So you advise them. Or your parents, they have some other kids, so you have little ones that are coming up also.

You advise them. So you don't have to say, well, I don't have any children, so I don't even need to worry about it. No.

This knowledge is available to you. And you will be asked on the Day of Judgment, What did you do with it?

Closing Dua

So I ask Allah to forgive our parents and our relatives who have passed. To make their graves gardens from paradise.

And I ask Allah to forgive our own sins, disobedience, neglectfulness, and to keep us on the straight path, Siratul Mustaqim. And I ask Allah to give us hajj in the year to come since we were unable to do so this year. And I ask Allah to bless the Muslims all over the world, to protect them from the evil that is upon them, the destruction of their lands, their people.

We ask Allah to protect the Ummah and to bring it back on Siratul Mustaqim, following Rasulullah, working together as one body, and guiding the world as we should be.

آمین

وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ