The Major Sins Series - Disobeying Parents

The Major Sins Series - Disobeying Parents

Speaker: Abu Usamah

Opening

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the Owner of the Day of Recompense.

أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ، صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ

I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and there is no partner with Him, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him and his family.

Introduction: The Kabira of Disobeying Parents

Reference: Quran 17:23-24

"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], 'Uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'"

The Kabira (major sin) is the Kabira of 'Uquq Al-Walidayn—being disobedient to one's parents.

So if one of them or both of them attain old age and you are living, don't ever say to them "Uff," and never speak to them in harsh terms. But instead, say to them a statement that is Kareem (noble), and lower the wing of humility towards them, and make du'a for them, and say, "Oh my Lord, have mercy upon them in their old age, as they used to have mercy upon me when I was younger."

Second Ayah on Parents

Reference: Quran 31:14

"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship upon hardship."

We have given the wasiya (command), or the contract. We have given the contract, and we have told mankind to be good and to do good by your parents. To have Ihsan (excellence) with them. You be a Muhsin (one who does good) towards your parents.

This is the chapter of today's dars, Ikhwani. And we should all consider ourselves maymoon (fortunate). Not lucky, because there is no luck in Al-Islam. Everything happens by the Qadar (decree) of Allah جَلَّ وَعَزَّ and it doesn't happen haphazardly.

So we don't say we are lucky.

But instead, we should all consider ourselves to be maymoon, fortunate, to hear this dhikr (remembrance) here today. And to be reminded of the importance that we all have. The Muslims from amongst us, whose parents are not Muslims—still we have to give the huquq (rights) to our parents.

The Word 'Uquq and Its Meaning

As a result, as it relates to the issue of huquq al-walidayn (rights of parents), this word—'uquq-comes from the verb 'aqqa.

The word 'aqiqa (the sacrifice for a newborn) is from this word. And that's why the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ used to not like to call the 'aqiqa, the 'aqiqa, because the word itself implies disobedience. So he would not call the 'aqiqa, the 'aqiqa, if he could get away from it. There are certain ahadith that he called the 'aqiqa, the 'aqiqa. But there is also a hadith where he prohibited us.

And he said that he didn't like the word 'uquq. And one of the wisdoms behind that, that the scholars said, is because of the meaning of the word 'uquq al-walidayn. Being disobedient to one's parents is a kabira from the kaba'ir.

The Contract (Mithaq) with Allah Regarding Parents

As it relates to this ayah that we dealt with, that Imam Al-Dhahabi mentioned:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ

"Your Lord has decreed..."

There are a number of points that we need to make very quickly. The first point is: Qada rabbuka—your Lord, He has given you a contract. He has given you a contract. He has made an obligation upon you. It is a mithaq (covenant). Allah has put a contract upon us that we should take care of our parents.

So the Muslim is held accountable in the dunya. Yawm al-Qiyamah, he's going to be questioned about all of his contracts.

Reference: Quran 5:1

"O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts."

Take care of every contract. From the greatest contracts that there are, are the contracts that are connected to those people who are the closest to us, like our mothers and our fathers, our wives, our husbands. So the issue of your parents is that there is between you and between Allah 'azza wa jalla a contract to take care of.

And Allah has praised those people who take care of all of their contracts:

Reference: Quran 13:21

"Those who join that which Allah has ordered to be joined..."

Those people who take care of what Allah ordered them to be connected—they connect those things.

Connecting the Rows in Salah

And there are a lot of things that we have been ordered to connect. We've been ordered to connect the lines in the salah. The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ before beginning the salah, he used to turn around to the people, and he used to say to the people:

مَنْ وَصَلَ صَفًّا وَصَلَهُ اللهُ، وَمَنْ قَطَعَ صَفًّا قَطَعَهُ اللَّهُ

"Whoever connects the row, Allah will connect him. Whoever disconnects it, Allah will disconnect him and his affairs."

So when you see a space in the row, you have been commanded to connect that row. And in connecting the row, your affairs will be connected. So don't worry about what people think. Don't be embarrassed if the salah didn't start, and you stay back there and there are spaces to fill in. Come and fill in the spaces. Especially on the day of Jumu'ah.

We don't have time to get into that. But on the Jumu'ah day, it is not from the sunnah to sit way back there and to hold up the wall. If you find a space and you come and you connect that space, you'll get the rewards that are tremendous for the musalli (one who prays) on the day of Jumu'ah.

Connecting the Ties of Kinship

: صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ,He said

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

"Verily the womb (al-rahim—the ties of kinship), it is hanging on and it is connected to the Arsh (Throne) of Allah. And the rahim is saying, 'Whoever connects me, Allah will connect him. Whoever disconnects me and severs me, Allah will disconnect him and sever him.'"

So the worst person that you can disconnect is your mother and your father. So that's the first point as it relates to this ayah:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ

Your Lord has given you a contract, made a contract, made an obligation upon you to connect the ties of relation, to take care of your mother and your father.

The Rights of Allah Connected with the Rights of Parents

The second point that we want to make concerning this seriously important ayah is that in this ayah, as we have in many other ayat of the Quran and ahadith, Allah ta'ala has put together His haqq (right), and then after commanding us to take care of His haqq, He told us next to take care of the haqq of the parents.

So He made the haqq of Allah 'azza wa jalla and the haqq of the parents together. As He did in so many other issues in Al-Islam:

Do not make shirk with Allah and worship Allah. That's the haqq of Allah. And then after that, give Allah His rights. So the right of the mother and the father is connected—it is maqroon (coupled)—with the rights of Allah ta'ala.

In another ayah He said:

Reference: Quran 31:14

أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ

"Be grateful to Me and to your parents."

Give thanks to Me and give thanks to your parents.

Allah 'azza wa jalla is the one who gave you life. He is the one who provided for you. He is the one who bestowed upon you your sight, your hearing, and all of the ni'mah (blessings) that we cannot count.

And He did that not because He needed you, but He did that through your parents. So give thanks to Allah 'azza wa jalla for being the Khaliq (Creator) who gave you what He gave you, and give the huquq of your parents to them for being the vessel.

The Rights of the Father and Mother

What is the huquq of the parents, as the ulama say? The haqq of the father is, he has the haqq of al-infaq (spending)—that you spend on your dad when he needs the money.

And the haqq of the mother is that you give her the haqq of al-ishfaq (compassion, tenderness)—that your mother, because she's da'eefa (weak), because she's a woman. I tell you people, advise you people: Be good to the women, all of the women -your wives, your daughters, your mothers, every woman. I advise you to take care of the women.

So the haqq of the father is that he has the haqq of being given money and being taken care of in his old age.

One of the companion's father used to come and steal his money in his son's absence. The son went to the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and complained about what his father was doing, thinking that Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ was going to get on the father. The Rasul صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said to the son:

أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لِأَبِيكَ

"You and your money belong to your father."

And he allowed him to take his money. So the father has the haqq of al-infaq, and the mother has the haqq of al-ishfaq. So Allah has put their haqq together after His.

Another ayah:

Reference: Quran 4:36

"Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good."

Do Not Say "Uff" to Your Parents

The third point, Ikhwani, is what the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ mentioned in this ayah. If one of them attains the age in which they are old people—one of them or two of them-don't say to them any kalimat (words) that your parents may find harmful and they may dislike it.

Concerning this issue, the Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

Reference: Sahih Muslim

(Sahih Muslim)

"May his nose be destroyed, have dirt on it, be dragged in the dirt—the one who he grows up to find his parents, both of them or one of them, and then he doesn't go into Jannah."

He's older, he's of the age where he has intellect. He can discern the right from what is wrong. He grows up and he finds both of his parents living, or one of them living, either one, and he doesn't go into Jannah.

In another narration, he got on the mimbar on the first step and he said, "Ameen." Stood on the second step, said, "Ameen." Stood on the third step, "Ameen." Turned around and said to the companions:

لَقَدْ جَاءَنِي جِبْرِيلُ فَقَالَ: يَا مُحَمَّدُ، مَنْ أَدْرَكَ وَالِدَيْهِ كِلَيْهِمَا أَوْ أَحَدَهُمَا ثُمَّ لَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ فَأَبْعَدَهُ اللَّهُ، قُلْ آمِينَ، فَقُلْتُ: آمِينَ

"Jibril came to me when I got on the first step. And he said to me, 'Ya Muhammad, whoever from your community grows up and he reaches the age where he has his intellect, he's a grown adult, and he finds his mother and his father or one of them, and he doesn't go to Jannah—may Allah put him far, far away from the rahmah (mercy) of Allah, from the Jannah of Allah.' And then Jibril said, 'Say Ameen to that du'a.'"

Jibril made du'a against the people who don't take care of their parents.

So Ikhwani, with all of the huquq of the parents, unfortunately there are many people who are sitting right here who are not on good terms with their mother or their father.

Warning Against Cutting Family Ties

Allah Ta'ala mentioned in the Quran:

Reference: Quran 47:22-23

"So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision."

It may be. It may be that once you grow up and you're given power in the earth, that you will turn around and start to create mischief in the earth and cut off the ties of your relationship. Those are the people who Allah has cursed and Allah has made them deaf and Allah has made them blind.

He made them deaf and blind to the reality that you are a person who is not thankful for the fact that your parents gave you the gift of life.

Warning Against Destroying Family for Marriage

And that's why we say over and over again, and this is going to come up insha'Allah: Someone wants to get married to a brother or the brother wants to get married to a sister. Don't destroy your family relationships to marry any woman.

Don't destroy your family relationships to marry any man or any woman. The girl is religious, the mother and the father don't want you to marry that girl. Don't run off and marry that girl like that.

You have to make jihad and try to convince them. I'm not saying don't marry the girl. Marry the girl, but knock on the right door and go through the right door.

If the mother and the father are too difficult, then you have to do what you have to do with what is halal. But do not take the girl and run off. The girl should never, ever, ever run off because her mother and her father don't agree.

The Mother Carried You with Hardship

Allah Ta'ala said in the Quran:

Reference: Quran 31:14

"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years."

The scholars of Al-Islam say the meaning of "she carried him hardship upon hardship" is: The pregnancy and dropping the birth—dropping the load—was one hardship. And then the second hardship was his tarbiyah (upbringing), taking care of him for two years.

Some of them say: The first hardship is carrying him, the second hardship is dropping him as a load. That alone—we can't give our mother her huquq back, as you're going to see.

Story from Al-Adab Al-Mufrad

In the book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad by Imam Al-Bukhari, a man came to Abdullah ibn Abbas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ and said, "Ya Abdullah ibn Abbas, there was a lady I wanted to marry her. And her people refused my proposal and they married her to another man. So my jealousy got the best of me and Shaitan overcame me. So I went and I killed the girl. I stood on her and hit her with an axe and I killed her. Can I make tawbah?"

Abdullah ibn Abbas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ said, "Is your mother living?" He said, "No." He said:

"Make tawbah to Allah."

The man left. The people asked Abdullah ibn Abbas, "Why when the man told you his situation, you asked him about his mother?" He said رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ :

"I don't know of anything that he can do to wipe away the crime of killing someone else other than by doing good to his mother. Not his mother and his father—he said his mother."

He was of the opinion that a person who kills someone, another Muslim, who unjustly kills another Muslim, he's going to be in the Hellfire forever. That was the opinion of Abdullah ibn Abbas.

And he had the statement of Allah ta'ala in Surah An-Nisa:

Reference: Quran 4:93

...

"He'll always be in the Jahannam, anyone who kills a believer."

So, Ikhwani, our mothers gave birth to us, they carried us—that alone we can never repay it.

The Reward for Doing Good

As it relates to the ahadith of Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi and the ayahs that he mentioned, since our mothers, Ikhwani, carried us, gave birth to us, suckled us, made a lot of efforts in jihad for us, Allah gave a rhetorical question in the Quran:

Reference: Quran 55:60

"And is the reward for good [anything] but good?"

The one who does good, is his reward anything other than that he'll be rewarded with good? If you do good, Allah is not going to reward you with evil. So there's a principle in our religion that comes from this ayah. That principle says:

"You will get rewarded according to the action that you do."

So when people do good to you, when they give you Ihsan, then you in turn have to do Ihsan back to the people. So our mothers and our fathers—no one gave us more Ihsan than our mothers and fathers.

Especially those of us who were born Muslims, raised as practicing Muslims. Your father made sure that you pray Salat al-Fajr when you were young. You didn't understand it. He was rough, he was tough. You'd get a serious scolding or beating if you didn't show up for Fajr. You couldn't understand that.

But right now at the age where you are right now, you can understand it. That's the Ihsan of your father and your mother. So how is a person going to repay it back? By marrying a girl who's a religious girl, an obedient wife, and he chooses his wife over his mother who may be ignorant? It's not permissible, Ikhwan, as you're going to see, insha'Allah, in the hadith that Imam Al-Dhahabi brings.

So we repay our parents with the Ihsan that they gave to us.

First Hadith: The Greatest Sins

Making Shirk and Disobeying Parents

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim

In the first hadith, Imam Al-Dhahabi رَحِمَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَىٰ brought the authentic hadith, where the Messenger of Allah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said and he asked his companions:

"Should I not tell you people what is the biggest of the major sins?"

They said, "Yes, Ya Rasulullah, what is it?" He said:

"Making shirk with Allah, and then next to it, the second kabira is being disobedient to your parents."

The Most Beloved Actions to Allah

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ came and asked:

"Which of the actions that we can do is the most beloved action to Allah?"

: صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَىٰ آلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ He said

"You pray at the proper time, the prescribed time."

The man said:

"And then after that, what's the best thing that Allah loves?"

He said:

"After the salah, after the haqq of Allah, that you take care of your parents."

He didn't say بِرُّ الزَّوْجِ or بِرُّ الزَّوْجَةِ Your mother has more rights over you than your wife does. More rights over you than your wife does.

The Pleasure and Anger of Allah

So from the huquq: The pleasure of Allah, the ridha, the ridwan (pleasure), the pleasure of Allah is in pleasing your parents. And the anger of Allah is in displeasing your parents.

Whoever is sitting here right now, when he's on bad terms with his parents, his mother and his father are angry with him, or one of them, then Allah جَلَّ وَعَزَّ is angry with you.

If you have done something that's haram, what is the meaning of the anger of Allah? It is when you do something against the religion that caused your parents to become upset with you. You are wrong, you're in the wrong religiously, and your mother and your father are upset with you. Then Allah becomes angry with you as a result of that.

It doesn't mean when your parents are ignorant, and the girl becomes religious, and she puts the hijab on with the niqab, and the mother says, "Hey, this is backwards, take that off." She says, "I'm not going to take it off." The mother becomes upset. That's not what this hadith is talking about.

This hadith is talking about if a person makes his parents upset because he wants to do something that's mustahab (recommended), and the mother and the father don't want him to do it—he shouldn't do it. If he wants to do something makruh (disliked), it's not haram, it's disliked, but there's no sin, and the mother and the father don't want him to do it, but he does it, and they become angry with him—then the anger of Allah is in that issue.

Example: The Story of Jurayj

The mustahab is something you should do. The man wants to pray the sunnah prayer, but the mother wants him—the mother needs him, like the mother of Jurayj. "Ya Jurayj, Ya Jurayj, come here right now."

While he's praying the sunnah, Jurayj said, "No, my salah or my mother, I'm going to keep praying, ibadah to Allah." It wasn't permissible for him to pray the sunnah when it's going to cause him to lose what is an obligation.

Someone may say, "But my mother, she may want me to do something, and I'm preoccupied with an ibadah from the ibadat, from the mustahabat, and if I were to do that, I'm going to lose a lot of reward."

You're not going to lose the reward, you'll get the reward because of your niyyah (intention). In addition to that, you'll get more reward for obeying your parents.

"Whoever leaves something for Allah, Allah will give him that which is better than it."

Obeying Parents in Lawful Matters Only

So that's the meaning of the anger of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is with the parents. Now if the parent were to order the child to do something that's haram, then it's haram to do what they're telling you to do. If they told you to leave the wajib from the wajibat of Al-Islam, then you cannot do that.

All of these ayat that talk about the huquq of the parents being connected with the huquq of Allah in the Quran and the Sunnah, and yet Allah still said in the Quran:

Reference: Quran 31:15

"And if your mother and your father order you to do something to make shirk with Me, that which you have no knowledge of, don't obey them in that thing, but have a good companionship with them in the dunya."

So the happiness or the pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah is you angering your parents. Whoever is sitting here and his mother and his father is upset with him, mad with him, and you were wrong concerning that, Allah is angry with you.

The Parent Is the Best Door to Jannah

: صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ He says

Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah, Sunan al-Tirmidhi

"The mother and the father are the best doors from the doors of Jannah."

The Jannah has eight doors. From these doors is the door of the parent.

Another door is the door of Ar-Rayyan, for the sa'imeen (those who fast). The six other doors—for us to put a name over it, or for us to say so-and-so will go in that door, you need the dalil from the Quran and the Sunnah with the name of that door. The mother and the father, they have a door that you can enter into Jannah.

So anyone who grows up and he finds them, he doesn't go into one of those doors—may Allah put him far away, Jibril said. And the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said "Ameen."

Story of the Man Ordered to Divorce His Wife

This hadith has a story behind it. A man came and he told the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

"Ya Rasulullah, I have a woman that I love, I married her. And my mother orders me to divorce her." (Note: This is not the hadith of Abdullah ibn Umar رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا Another man.(

"I married a woman that I love, I tremendously love her, my heart is connected to her. And my mother orders me to make divorce, to divorce her."

The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

"The parent is the best door to Jannah."

That was his response. So the scholars took from this hadith a clear dalil. If it is a question of making your mother happy and making your wife happy, your mother has the haqq and is awla (more deserving). She has more rights.

Any woman that you're married to who doesn't help you to practice the deen...

Your Mother Three Times

The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ when he was asked:

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim

"Ya Rasulullah, who has more rights over me?"

He said:

"Your mother."

And then who?

"Your mother."

And then who?

"Your mother."

And then who?

أبُوكَ

"Your father."

He didn't say زَوْجَتُكَ )your wife). Your mother. Then your mother. Then your mother. And then your father. Your mother has more rights over you to please her than your wife.

Your mother is jahila (ignorant). She's self-centered. Your mother is ignorant. A person's mother, she only thinks about herself. She's 'abdat ad-dunya (worshipper of the worldly life). She loves the dunya. She doesn't know about the deen. She makes outrageous requests from you. She's wrong most of the time.

What do we do in these cases? Wallahi, she still has more rights than your wife. And the woman who you marry, who doesn't help you to give your mother her rights, why did you marry her? Why marry a woman who's not going to help you to fulfill this hadith?

And the sister who's in that situation, don't think that we're saying that it's easy for her. No. Her mother-in-law is ignorant, is a fitnah. But that mother-in-law is a door to her Jannah.

The lady came to complain about her husband to Rasulullah. Rasulullah told that lady صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

"Look at your husband and your position to your husband. Because he's your paradise or your Hellfire."

He's someone who can help you, wife, to get to the Jannah. So the lady has to try to get to Jannah by helping her husband to take care of the huquq that his mother has over him.

For you brothers, though, and myself, let us not practice this hadith by giving our wives the feeling that we're more inclined to make them happy over our mothers. No. If you can make both sides happy, then that's what you have to do.

But if it was this one or that one, your mother who gave you life has more rights. Three times, three times. So fear Allah جَلَّ وَعَزَّ as it relates to your mothers and your wives, as it relates to your mothers and your children.

The Story of the Three Men in the Cave

Those three men who went into the cave and the rock went over the cave and it covered the whole cave, and each one said something of what they did. One of the men said:

"Oh Allah, you know my mother and my father—they were old people, and I used to go and I used to milk my animals and I would bring the milk and I would find my mother and my father sleeping, and my kids would be screaming. They were hungry, they wanted to eat. They see the food, the milk, and it makes them even more hungry. So they start screaming. Allah, you know that I didn't give them to eat. I stood over my mother and father waiting for them to wake up out of fear that I didn't want to disturb them. I just stood there. You know that I did that for Yourself. So make the thing open."

And the thing was opened. Another dalil: Your mother and your father have more rights than your children, than your wife.

As for the sister and her husband, her husband has more rights. She has to obey her husband over her father. Her husband is the imam, the amir, her khalifah.

And maybe doing the question and answers, insha'Allah, that will become more apparent.

Important Note About the Hadith

In this hadith, those of you who have the book, there's a very important point you have to pay attention to in the book. It said:

"The mother and father are the best door to paradise. And then it said, 'So, if you want to protect it, protect it. And if you want to lose it, lose it.'"

This is not part of the hadith. Even in this book, they included it as the statement of Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ . They put it between the quotations. So, they made the whole statement the statement of Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

Rasulullah صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ stops at:

Stop. And then Abu Darda said, "Whoever wants to hold on to that door, let him hold on to it, protect it, maintain it. Whoever wants to lose it, then let him lose it."

So that aspect of the hadith is mudrij—it is idraj. That's when the narrator says something that when the person heard it, he thought it was the hadith.

Example of Idraj: Abu Hurairah's Statement

Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ sat before the people and he wanted to teach them about the importance of making the wudu. So he says:

"Rasulullah say صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and then he said, 'Do a good wudu. Woe to the heels from the Hellfire.'""

What the Prophet said was only:

"Woe to the heels from the Hellfire."

That's the kalam of Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ Abu Hurairah said, "Make a good wudu."

So the scholars of Al-Islam, the scholars of hadith, have a refutation on the lying Qurani. Liars, Wallahi. Those people who say we don't take the Sunnah because we don't know what's authentic and what's not authentic.

The ulama of Al-Islam did not leave any hadith except that we know it is okay or it's not okay. There's not a single hadith except that they dissected it and they explained what it meant, was it authentic, when it was said, who said it, and on and on and on.

So anyone who wants to reject the Sunnah, he has rejected Al-Islam, and he's a liar.

So that hadith is mudrij. The last kalam is the kalam of Abu Darda radiyallahu anhu.

The Weak Hadith: "Paradise Is Under the Feet of Mothers"

And then Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi brings the famous hadith as a dalil to show the importance of taking care of the parents. Pay attention, Ikhwani.

The hadith said:

"Paradise is under the feet of the mothers."

Paradise is under the feet of the mothers. Everyone heard this hadith. This is not an authentic hadith. Not only did the Prophet not say it صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ but it is an extremely weak hadith. It is a hadith that is munkar. And it's not true, not in the chain of narration nor in the meaning.

Jannah is under the feet of a lady who doesn't pray, a lady who's a zaniya (adulteress), a lady who doesn't wear hijab? She's a criminal, a mushrika (polytheist)? Even if she's a Muslim, she doesn't pray. The closest she comes to making rukoo' (bowing), putting something in the oven, taking something out of the oven. She curses the religion. You have a beard? She curses the beard. She's an enemy to the deen. Jannah is under her feet? La wallahi. Jannah is not under the feet of someone like that.

The Authentic Version

There was a man who came, and he wanted to make jihad with Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ . And the Prophet asked him صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

"Did you have a mother? Your mother living? Yes. She's living, ya Rasulullah. He said, 'Go and take care of her. Be with her. Be around her. Because Jannah is under her feet.'""

That lady, who's a muttaqiya (pious), saliha (righteous), mu'mina (believing).

So someone sitting here, maybe your mother, maybe your grandmother, Jannah is under her feet. Which goes again to show, Ikhwan, the level of the mother in this deen. Especially the mother who is religious.

That the Jannah who the Prophet said about it صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

"In the Jannah is what no eyes have ever seen, no ears have ever heard." Some of the stuff in the Jannah—things in the Jannah that the people can't even contemplate what's in the Jannah.

And that religious mother, that exalted place is under her feet. The righteous, religious, Muslim woman who has given birth and raised the children on Al-Islam.

So Jannah can be under the feet of our mother Aisha, Khadija, Maymunah, Umm Salama, Umm Habibah رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُنَّ Jannah is under the feet of our mother Khadija رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا . But Jannah is not under the feet of every woman, whether she's a Muslim or a non-Muslim.

So that hadith is from what has been famously quoted as being a hadith of Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and it is not authentic. Do not say this hadith again. The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ says "Paradise is under the feet of the mothers." No.

Paradise can be under the feet of a particular mother who has the deen. But we don't know that unless we have some dalil for that particular issue.

Striving (Jihad) with Your Parents

Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi brought the next narration:

A man was about to go to perform the jihad. Rasulullah made the call for the jihad. And the jihad is fard al-kifaya (communal obligation). He called the people for the jihad. The man came and he wanted to participate in the jihad. Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ asked him:

"Is your mother living? Your parents, are they living?" He said yes. He said:

"Then go back and make jihad in and with your mother and your father. Make jihad in and with your mother and your father."

Who is the mujahid (warrior)? And what is the jihad in Islam? He told us صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

"The mujahid is the one who makes jihad against his nafs in obeying Allah."

He has a mother who's ignorant, self-centered. All kinds of problems between his mother and his wife. Make jihad between them. You're in the middle, make jihad. Tolerate your mother, educate your mother. Be patient with your mother. There is a jihad with your mother.

Important Fiqh Point

This hadith, Ikhwani, is a very important hadith. And it has some fiqh that we have to mention concerning it.

When the Prophet used to encourage the people to make jihad صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ Allah revealed a number of ayahs telling the people about the evil of not going to make jihad:

(Quran 9:38-39)

Are you satisfied with this worldly life rather than the Hereafter? The enjoyment of this worldly life is only little. If you do not go out, Allah will punish you with a grievous punishment and change you with a different people. And what you do does not hurt Allah one bit. And He's able and capable of doing everything.

And yet when the boy came to make jihad, Rasulullah knew his condition, told him, "Go back and make jihad with your parents."

Because the jihad for the person who's taking care of his parents is not an obligation upon him. And the fard al-kifaya, like going to get knowledge—someone wants to go to Yemen, someone gets a scholarship to go to Medina, or to Mecca or Riyadh, or wherever in the dunya to get knowledge.

He's been given an opportunity to go and learn or memorize the Quran from someone who has a chain of narration, of recitation all the way back to Rasulullah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ . He gets a chance to go meet the biggest scholar in the dunya. But in going to do that, he's going to neglect his mother and his father. His mother and father have more rights over him than what he's going to do.

And similar to it is his wife and his children.

Example: Al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam

Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr-or al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam-when he made the Hajj with Rasulullah صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and they were coming back from Mecca, his wife Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr, was pregnant. She went all the way to Mecca, did the rites of Hajj, pregnant. This mother, she came all the way back on a camel. Before they entered into Medina, the pains of childbirth started to come. She wants to deliver the baby. So they had to stop.

Al-Zubayr told some of his relatives, "Hey, you stay with my wife. I'm going to remain with Rasulullah صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ so that I can continue to see the ahkam of Hajj."

Didn't the Prophet tell them before they left Medina:

"Take from me the rites of Hajj"?

So everyone was looking at everything that he did. Al-Zubayr wanted knowledge, wants to know about the Hajj. "You, my brother, my cousin, you take care of my wife while she has the baby."

Rasulullah told him صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ "No, you take care of your wife."

So he had to remain with his family while the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ while the scholar and the knowledge left.

So how are you going to go and study in Medina and your children are going to be lost on welfare? It's not permissible. You have to stay with your parents, you have to stay with your children, you have to stay with those people you are responsible for.

The student of knowledge, my brothers, more than anyone, he's the one who tries to take care of and understand these issues. He takes care of his mother and his wife, his mother and his father, and he realizes in taking care of them comes the pleasure of Allah جَلَّ وَعَزَّ which will allow him to have a happy marriage, which will allow him to be a good student of knowledge, insha'Allah ta'ala.

Your Mother, Your Father, Your Sister, Your Brother

I already mentioned the hadith where the man came and he says to the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ "Who has more rights for me to take care of him?" He said, "Your mother, your mother, your mother, and then your father."

There's another narration that he says صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ it's from the fasaha (eloquence) of Rasulullah صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ :

"Who has the most rights over me, ya Rasulullah?"

"Your mother."

And then who?

Three People Who Will Not Enter Jannah

Reference: (Hadith is weak - as stated by the speaker)

الإمام الذهبي رحمه الله تعالى :said

The Greatest Sins

Abdullah bin Umar said that a man came to the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) and said, "Ya Rasulullah, what are the major sins?" He said, "That you make shirk with Allah, that you slaughter for other than Allah, that you obey Abu Hanifa over Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) when it's clear what Rasulullah said is in contradiction to what Abu Hanifa said or did, and you say no, I prefer what Abu Hanifa says."

That is kufr. "What is the greatest sin, Ya Rasulullah?" "To make shirk with Allah." And then after that what? "To be disobedient to your parents." And then after that what? "The (اليمين الغموس - al-yameen al-ghamoos) (false oath)—for a person to swear and he's lying."

Those Who Will Not Enter Jannah

Reference: (Hadith needs verification as stated by speaker)

He said (رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى - rahimahu Allāh ta'ālā): "He will not enter into Jannah, the one who is disobedient to his parents, nor the one who disbelieves in the divine decree."

The man came and said:

"Ya Rasulullah, if I pray the five prayers, I fast in Ramadan, I give the zakat and I make the Hajj to the house, I practice all of Islam, then what else do I have to do?"

He said:

"Anyone who does that, he will be raised up with the nabiyeen (prophets) and the siddiqueen (truthful ones) and the shuhada (martyrs) and the salihin (righteous)—except if he was disobedient to his parents."

If he was disobedient to his parents and he did all of these ibadat of Al-Islam, then Allah (تَعَالَى - ta'ālā):

What Allah Has Forbidden

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim

Allah has made haram for you being disrespectful, disobedient to your mothers. And He has made haram for you burying your daughters alive. And He has made haram for you:

مَنْعًا وَهَاتِ

مَنْعًا means the person when he's asked, he doesn't give. And هَاتِ means the one who goes around begging. "Can I have? Can you give me? Can I have?" He made that haram for you to be a beggar.

So the point is:

It is from the kaba'ir in Al-Islam—being disobedient to your parents is a kabira.

A Son Can Never Repay His Father

He said (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam):

Reference: Sahih Muslim

"A son will never be able to repay his father. Never in the dunya. There's no way in the world—it's impossible for a man to repay his father."

If he can't repay his father—"your mother, your mother, your mother"—then it's out of the question. You can't repay your mother.

A man will never be able to repay his father unless he found his father as a slave to another man. His father was put into slavery and he found him like that. So he purchases his father's freedom and then he lets him go.

That's the only way a man can repay his father. So none of our fathers are going to be slaves—the real meaning of slavery.

Important Fiqh Point About Owning One's Father

If a man finds his father as a slave and he purchases his freedom, he purchases it and the son gave his father some of his rights. And Ikhwan, this hadith is a hadith that has some fiqh.

It goes to show in the religion of Islam it's haram for a man to own his own father. Slavery is a part of Islam and it's going to return. And slavery doesn't mean a group of people or particular color or nation of slaves.

Anyone can be a slave. Whoever fights against the religion when jihad is fought correctly, the Muslims defeat them, take them as slaves. And take their women as captives and the women are your property and he has 20 and he has 40 and he's a rich man and he has 600.

It's all from the religion. If a man found his father as a slave, he can never put his father in slavery from this hadith. Automatically the father is free.

But from the signs of the Last Day there are going to be people who are going to put their parents in slavery.

Signs of the Hour

In the hadith of Jibril about Iman and Ihsan and Islam, from the signs of the Hour:

"You will see the slave girl giving birth to her master."

That's one of the signs of the Hour. Some of the scholars said the meaning of that is people will put their mothers and their fathers in slavery and have them in slavery. It'll get to that level where the people treat their parents in that type of a way.

The Maternal Aunt Is Like the Mother

He went on to say (رَحِمَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَى - rahimahu Allāh ta'ālā) that the Prophet says (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam):

"The maternal aunt is like the mother."

Ikhwan, with a show of hands: Your mother, she has some sisters and your father has some sisters. How many of you are closer to your mother's sisters? Put your hand up.

How many are closer to your father's sisters?

Now some of you didn't put your hands up. Let's try it again. How many of you are closer to your mother's sisters? How many? Look around. It's going to always be like that in every masjid.

Because your mother's sisters look at you like you are her daughter, her sons. That's the fitrah of Allah in women. So Rasulullah says (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam):

The oldest sister, youngest sister, when your mother had you, she looked at you—your aunt, your khala—like you are her flesh and blood.

And he says (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam)

"And your father's brother is like the father."

Your father's brother is like the father, your uncle from your father's side. This hadith has a story behind it.

Story of Hamza's Daughter

It's a long hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. When the companions went and conquered Mecca, and they opened up Mecca, Ali ibn Abi Talib and his brother Ja'far ibn Abi Talib (رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا - raḍiya Allāhu 'anhumā) along with Zayd ibn Harithah, may Allah be pleased with all of them, they saw the daughter of Hamza.

They saw the daughter of Hamza, the uncle of Ali and his brother Ja'far. Hamza was dead by that time. So they went to Mecca and all three of them said, "I want to take care of the girl."

So they went to the Prophet (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) and they said: Ali said, "Ya Rasulullah, this is Hamza's daughter, my niece. Hamza you know is my uncle, so I have more rights."

His brother Ja'far said, "Ya Rasulullah, this is Hamza, my uncle's daughter and her aunt, her khala, is my wife."

Zayd ibn Harithah said, "Ya Rasulullah, she is the daughter of my brother." Zayd is not even related to Hamza, he means in Islam, "I want to take care of the Muslim girl. Her father was a man of virtue. If I take care of this daughter, insha'Allah it's going to help me on the Day of Qiyamah as well."

Rasulullah (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - ṣallā Allāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said:

"The mother, the khala is like the mother," and he gave the girl to Ja'far.

So in the law of custody, when the aunt is there, the judge in Al-Islam can allow the khala to take over the child. The khala, she is up there as it relates to who comes in line of taking care of the custody of the child. Because her daughter or her sister, the mother of the child, they both looked at the child the same way.

Narration from Wahab ibn Munabbah (Isra'iliyat)

We're almost done here with the last athar (narration). And it is the athar of Wahab ibn Munabbah who was from the Tabi'een (successors). And one of the first people to have a book of hadith written.

And we want to dig into the archives to pass out a thing that we wrote concerning Wahab ibn Munabbah and some advice that he gave to a man who was about to go with the Khawarij. And it's similar to the people of Ahl al-Ahwa today, the fitna of this issue with Al-Imam Wahab ibn Munabbah.

Tremendous scholar, who was a scholar of the Isra'iliyat, the narrations from the Jews and the Christians. Anyway, without going through it, it's from the Isra'iliyat—we don't believe it, we don't disbelieve it. He said that Allah said to Musa:

"Ya Musa, respect and take care of your parents. Fervently, whoever takes care of his parents, I will increase his age, his lifespan. And I will give him a child that will take care of him. And whoever is disobedient to his parents, I will make his lifespan short. And I will give him a child that is disrespectful to him."

So Ka'b-Ka'b Al-Ahbar, one of the other ulama from the Tabi'een who knew a lot about the Isra'iliyat. Ka'b, he said:

"I swear by Allah, the one who my soul is in His hands, Allah will split up the life of an individual who is not good to his parents and he'll punish him. He'll punish him and give him his punishment quickly. And Allah will increase the good in the life of the slave who is good to his parents."

This is from the Isra'iliyat. We don't believe that Allah said this to Musa, unless it came in the Quran and the Sunnah. But everything that was said in here, we have authentic hadith that support all of it.

Conclusion

So, Ikhwani, maybe you didn't know prior to today the seriousness and the severity of taking care of your parents. Now you heard the statements of the Prophet (صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - sallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam)

So let us begin from this point on, insha'Allah, to try to be diligent with our mothers as well as our fathers.

Closing Du'a

I say this, and I ask Allah to forgive me and you.

And may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and all his companions.

And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.