n37 32 The Major Sins Series - Disobeying Parents

The Major Sins Series - Disobeying Parents

Speaker: Abu Usamah

Opening

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the Owner of the Day of Recompense, and I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and there is no partner but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him and his family.

Introduction to the Major Sin

The topic of today is the major sin (Kabira) of Uquq Al-Walidayn - being disobedient to one's parents.

Primary Quranic Evidence

Allah Ta'ala says:

Translation: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: 'My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young. If one of them or both of them reach old age while you are living, do not say to them "Uf" (a word of disrespect), and never speak to them in hard terms. But instead say to them a statement that is Kareem (noble/kind), and lower the wing of humility towards them, and make dua for them, and say, "Oh my Lord have mercy upon them in their old age, as they used to have mercy upon me when I was younger."

Second Quranic Evidence

Translation: "And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents."

We have given the wasiya (contract/enjoinment), and we have told mankind to be good, and to do good by your parents. To have Ihsan (excellence) with them. You be a Muhsin (one who does good) towards your parents.

The Significance of This Lesson

This is the chapter of today's dars (lesson), Ikhwani (my brothers). And we should all consider ourselves maymoon (fortunate) - not lucky, because there is no luck in Al-Islam. Everything happens by the Qadar of Allah, and it doesn't happen haphazardly. So we don't say we are lucky.

But instead, we should all consider ourselves to be maymoon, fortunate, to hear this dhikr here today. And to be reminded of the importance that we all have. The Muslims from amongst us, who are parents or not Muslims - still we have to give the huquq (rights) to our parents.

Understanding the Term "Uquq"

As it relates to the issue of huquq al-walidayn (the rights of parents), this word uquq (عُقُوق) - ba, qaaf, waaw, and qaaf - comes from the verb aqqa (ع)

The word aqiqa (عَقِيقَة) is from this word. And that's why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to not like to call the aqiqa "the aqiqa," because the word itself implies disobedience.

So he would not call the aqiqa "the aqiqa" if he could get away from it. There are certain ahadith that he called the aqiqa "the aqiqa," but there is also a hadith where he prohibited us. And he said that he didn't like the word uquq. And one of the wisdoms behind that, that the scholars of Allah said, is because of the meaning of the word - uquq al-walidayn.

Being disobedient to one's parents is a kabira (major sin) from the kabair (major sins).

The Divine Contract with Parents

First Point: Qada Rabbuka - Your Lord Has Decreed

As it relates to this ayah that we dealt with, that Imam Al-Dhahabi mentioned: وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ - there are a number of points that we need to make very quickly.

The first point is: Qada Rabbuka - your Lord, He has given you a contract. He has given you a contract. He has made an obligation upon you. It is a mithaq (covenant). Allah has put a contract upon us that we should take

care of our parents.

So the Muslims are held accountable in the dunya. Yawm al-Qiyamah is going to be questioned about all of his contracts.

Translation: "O you who believe, fulfill [all] contracts."

Take care of the contracts that you make. Awfu bil-'uqood (fulfill the contracts). Take care of every contract.

From the greatest contracts that there are, are the contracts that are connected to those people who are the closest to us, like our mothers and our fathers, our wives, our husbands. So the issue of your parents is that there is between you and between Allah, a contract to take care of. And Allah has praised those people who take care of all of their contracts.

Translation: "Those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined."

The Importance of Connection

There are a lot of things that we have been ordered to connect. We've been ordered to connect the lines in the salah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) before beginning the salah, he used to turn around to the people, and he used to say to the people:

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 666)

Translation: "Whoever connects the row, Allah will connect him. Whoever disconnects it, Allah will disconnect him and his affairs."

So when you see a space in the row, you have been commanded to connect that row. And in connecting the row, your affairs will be connected. So don't worry about what people think. Don't be embarrassed if the salah didn't start, and you stay back there and there are spaces to fill in. Come and fill in the spaces. Especially on the day of al-Jumu'ah.

We don't have time to get into that. But on the Jumu'ah day, it is not from the sunnah to sit way back there and to hold up the wall. If you find a space and you come and you connect that space, you'll get the rewards that are

tremendous for the musalli (one who prays) on the day of Jumu'ah.

He said (peace and blessings be upon him):

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5989; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2555)

Translation: "Verily the womb (ar-rahm) is hanging on and it is connected to the Arsh of Allah. And the rahm is saying, 'Whoever connects me, Allah will connect him. Whoever disconnects me and severs me, Allah will disconnect him and sever him.'"

So the worst person that you can disconnect is your mother and your father. So that's the first point as it relates to this ayat: Wa qada rabbuka - Your Lord has given you a contract, made a contract, made an obligation upon you to connect the ties of relation, to take care of your mother and your father.

The Rights of Allah and the Rights of Parents Together

Second Point: Allah's Right and Parents' Rights are Connected

The second point that we want to make concerning this seriously important ayat, is that in this ayat, as we have in many other ayat of the Quran and ahadith, Allah ta'ala has put together His haq (right), and then after commanding us to take care of His haq, He told us next to take care of the haq of the parents.

So He made the haq of Allah and the haq of the parents together. As He did so many other issues in Al-Islam:

Do not make shirk with Allah and worship Allah. That's the haq of Allah. And then after that, give Allah His rights.

So the right of the mother and the father is connected, it is maqroon (paired) with the rights of Allah ta'ala. In another ayah He said:

Translation: "Give thanks to Me and to your parents."

Allah is the one who gave you life. He is the one who provided for you. He is the one who bestowed upon you your sight, your hearing, and all of the ni'mah (blessings) that we cannot count.

And He did that not because He needed them, but He did that through your parents. So give thanks to Allah for being the Khaliq (Creator) who gave you what He gave you, and give the huquq of your parents to them for being the vessel.

What Are the Rights of the Parents?

What is the haqoq (rights) of the parents, as the ulama say?

• The haq of the father is that he has the haq of al-infaq - that you spend on your dad when he needs the money.
• The haq of the mother is that you give her the haq of al-ishfaq - that your mother, because she's da'eefa (weak), because she's a woman, I tell you people, advise you people: be good by the women, all of the women, your wives, your daughters, your mothers, every woman. I advise you to take care of the women.

So the haq of the father is that he has the haq of being given money and taking care of in his old age.

Story of the Companion and His Father

One of the Companion's father used to come and take his money in his son's absence. The son went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and complained about what his father was doing, thinking that Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) was going to get on the father. The Rasul (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the son:

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2291)

Translation: "You and your money belong to your father."

And he allowed him to take his money. So the father has the haq of al-infaq, and the mother has the haq of al- ishfaq. So Allah has put their haq together after His.

Another ayah:

Translation: "Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good."

Worship Allah and don't make shirk with Him, and take care of your parents. Give your parents the ihsan.

The Punishment for Disobeying Parents

Third Point: The Severe Warning

The third point, Ikhwani, is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentions in this ayah. If one of them attains the age in which they are old people, one of them or two of them, don't say to them any kalimat (words) that your parents may find harmful, and they may dislike it.

Concerning this issue the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2551)

"May his nose be destroyed, may his nose be destroyed, may his nose be destroyed - the one who grows up to find his parents, both of them or one of them, and then he doesn't go into the Jannah."

He's older, he's of the age where he has intellect. He can discern the right from what is wrong. He grows up and he finds both of his parents living, or one of them living, either one, and he doesn't go into the Jannah.

The Story of Jibril's Dua

In another narration, he got on the mimbar on the first step and he said, "Ameen." Stood on the second step and said, "Ameen." Stood on the third step and said, "Ameen." Turned around and said to the companions:

(Sahih Ibn Hibban, Hadith 408)

"Jibril came to me when I got on the first step. And he said to me, 'O Muhammad, whoever from your community grows up and he reaches the age where he has his intellect, he's a grown adult, and he finds his mother and his father or one of them, and he doesn't go to the Jannah - may Allah put him far away from the rahmah (mercy) of Allah, from the Jannah of Allah.' And then Jibril said, 'Say Ameen to that dua.' Jabril made dua against the people who don't take care of their parents."

So Ikhwani, with all of the haqoq of the parents, unfortunately there are many people who are sitting right here who are not on good terms with their mother or their father.

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Warning Against Breaking Family Ties

Allah Ta'ala mentioned in the Quran:

Translation: "So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? Those are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision."

It may be, it may be that once you grow up and after Allah gives you power in the earth, that you will turn around and start to create mischief in the earth and cut off the ties of your relationship. Those are the people who Allah has cursed and Allah has made them deaf and Allah has made them blind.

He made them deaf and blind to the reality that you are a person who is not thankful for the fact that your parents gave you the gift of life.

Marriage and Parents' Rights

And that's why we say over and over again, and this is going to come up inshallah: Someone wants to get married to a brother or the brother wants to get married to a sister. Don't destroy your family relationships to marry any woman. Don't destroy your family relationships to marry any man or any woman.

The girl is religious, the mother and the father don't want you to marry that girl. Don't run off and marry that girl like that. You have to make jihad and try to convince them. I'm not saying don't marry the girl. Marry the girl but knock on the right door and go through the right door.

If the mother and the father are too difficult, then you have to do what you have to do with what is halal. But do not take the girl and run off. The girl should never, ever, ever run off because her mother and her father don't agree.

She's sharif (noble), she's from Quraysh, really from Ahlulbayt. And they don't want the girl to marry anyone but from Ahlulbayt. Or the parents are ignorant and racist, don't want the girl to marry anyone but someone from her village, her cousin.

We say, she has the right not to marry that boy if she doesn't want. But don't run off with the brother. Don't elope with the brother or the sister.

And then you cut off the ties of relationship and you become blind and deaf to the fact that it is a kabira from the kabair.

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The Mother's Status in Islam

Allah Ta'ala said in the Quran:

Translation: "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years."

And we gave this contract, we legislated it, we made it an obligation that mankind should be diligent in giving ihsan to his parents. His mother carried him with heaviness on top of heaviness. And she suckled him for two years.

The scholars of Al-Islam say the meaning of "she carried him heaviness on top of heaviness" is:

1. The pregnancy and dropping the birth, dropping the load was one heaviness
2. The second heaviness was his tarbiyah (upbringing), taking care of him for two years

Some of them say:

1. The first heaviness is carrying him
2. The second heaviness is dropping him as a load

That alone we can't give our mother her huquq back, as you're going to see.

Story from Adab Al-Mufrad

In the book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad by Imam Al-Bukhari, a man came to Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) and said: "O Abdullah ibn Abbas, there was a lady I wanted to marry her. And her people refused my proposal and they married her to another man. So my jealousy got the best of me and shaytan overcame me. So I went and I killed the girl. I stood on her and hit her with an axe and I killed her. Can I make tawbah?"

Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "Is your mother living?" He said, "No." He said, "Make tawbah to Allah."

The man left. The people asked Abdullah ibn Abbas, "Why when the man told you his situation, you asked him about his mother?"

He said (may Allah be pleased with him): "I don't know of anything that he can do to wipe away the crime of killing someone else other than by doing good to his mother. Not his mother and his father. He said his mother (may Allah be pleased with him)."

He was of the opinion that a person who kills someone, another Muslim, who unjustly kills another Muslim, he's going to be in the hellfire forever. That was the opinion of Abdullah ibn Abbas.

And he had the statement of Allah Ta'ala in Surah An-Nisa:

Translation: "And whoever kills a believer intentionally - his recompense is Hell, wherein he will abide eternally."

The Reward for Good

So, Ikhwani, our mothers to us, they carried us, that alone we can never repay it. As it relates to the Ahadith of Al-Imam Al-Nawawi and Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi.

In the ayahs that he mentioned, since our mothers, Ikhwani, carried us, gave birth to us, suckled us, made a lot of efforts in Jihad for us, Allah gave a rhetorical question in the Quran:

Translation: "Is the reward for good [anything] but good?"

And is the reward for doing good, nothing other than doing good? The one who does good, is his reward anything other than that he'll be rewarded with good? If you do good, Allah is not going to reward you with evil.

So there's a principle in our religion that comes from this hadith, this ayah. And that principle says:

الْجَزَاءُ مِنْ جِنْسِ الْعَمَلِ

Translation: "You will get rewarded according to the action that you do."

So when people do good to you, when they give you Ihsan, then you in turn have to do Ihsan back to the people. So our mothers and our fathers, no one gave us more Ihsan than our mothers and fathers.

Especially those of us who were born Muslims, raised as practicing Muslims. Your father made sure that you pray Salatul Fajr when you were young. You didn't understand it. He was rough, he was tough. You'd get a serious scolding or beating if you didn't show up for Fajr. You couldn't understand that. But right now at the age where you are right now, you can understand it. That's the Ihsan of your father and your mother.

So how is a person going to repay it back? By marrying a girl, who's a religious girl, an obedient wife, and he chooses his wife over his mother, who may be ignorant. It's not permissible, Ikhwan. As you're going to see, Inshallah, in the Hadith that Imam Al-Dhahabi brings.

So we repay our parents with the Ihsan that they gave to us.

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The Greatest Sins

First Hadith: The Major Sins

In the first Hadith, Imam Al-Dhahabi (may Allah have mercy on him) brought the authentic Hadith, where the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, and he asked his companions:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2654; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 87)

Translation: "Should I not tell you people what is the biggest of the major sins?"

They said, "Yes, Ya Rasulullah, what is it?"

He said:

Translation: "Making shirk (associating partners) with Allah, and then next to it, the second kabira is being disobedient to your parents."

Second Hadith: The Most Beloved Actions

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud came and asked:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 527; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 85)

Translation: "O Messenger of Allah, which of the actions that we can do is the most beloved action to Allah?"

He said:

Translation: "The prayer at its proper time."

The man said: ثُمَّ أَيُّ؟ )And then after that, what's the best thing that Allah loves?(

He said:

Translation: "After the salah, after the haq of Allah, that you take care of your parents."

He didn't say (بِرُّ الزَّوْجِ - birru az-zawji) or (بِرُّ الزَّوْجَةِ - birru az-zawjati). Your mother has more rights over you than your wife does. More rights over you than your wife does.

The Pleasure and Anger of Allah

So from the hadith:

The pleasure of Allah, the (رِضْوَان - ridwan), the pleasure of Allah is in pleasing your parents.

And the anger of Allah is in displeasing your parents.

Whoever is sitting here right now, when he's on bad terms with his parents, his mother and his father are angry with him, or one of them, then Allah is angry with you.

If you have done something that's haram, what is the meaning of the anger of Allah? Is it the anger of the parents? It is when you do something against the religion that caused your parents to become upset with you.

You are wrong, you're in the wrong religiously, and your mother and your father are upset with you. Then Allah becomes angry with you as a result of that.

It doesn't mean when your parents are ignorant, and the girl becomes religious, and she puts the hijab on with the niqab, and the mother says, "Hey, this is backwards, take that off." She says, "I'm not going to take it off." The mother becomes upset. That's not what this hadith is talking about.

This hadith is talking about if a person makes his parents upset because he wants to do something that's mustahab (recommended), and the mother and the father don't want him to do it, he shouldn't do it. If he wants to do something makrooh (disliked), it's not haram, it's disliked, but there's no sin, and the mother and the father don't want him to do it, but he does it, and they become angry with him. Then the anger of Allah is in that issue.

The Sunnah Prayer and Parents' Rights

The mustahab is something you should do. The man wants to pray the sunnah prayer, but the mother wants him, the mother needs him, like the mother of Jurayj. "Ya Jurayj, Ya Jurayj, come here right now."

While he's praying the sunnah, Jurayj said, "No, my salah or my mother, I'm going to keep praying, ibadah to Allah." It wasn't permissible for him to pray the sunnah when it's going to cause him to lose what is an obligation.

Someone may say, "But my mother, she may want me to do something, and I'm preoccupied with an ibadah from the ibadah, from the mustahabat (recommended acts), and if I were to do that, I'm going to lose a lot of reward."

You're not going to lose the reward, you'll get the reward because of your niyyah (intention). In addition to that, you'll get more reward for obeying your parents.

(مَنْ تَرَكَ شَيْئًا لِلَّهِ عَوَّضَهُ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهُ - man taraka shai'an lillahi 'awwadahu allahu khairan minhu)

Reference: Al-Mustadrak by Al-Hakim

Translation: "Whoever leaves something for Allah, Allah will give him that which is better than it."

So that's the meaning of the anger of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is with the parents.

Parents Ordering Haram or Leaving Wajib

Now if the parent were to order the child to do something that's haram, then it's haram to do what they're telling you to do. If they told you to leave the wajib from the wajibat of Al-Islam, then you cannot do that.

All of these ayat that talk about the huquq of the parents being connected with the huquq of Allah, in the Quran, and the sunnah, and yet Allah still said in the Quran:

"But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness."

And if your mother and your father order you to do something to make shirk with Me, then don't obey them in that thing, but have a good companionship with them in the dunya.

So the happiness or the pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah is you angering your parents. Whoever is sitting here and his mother and his father is upset with him, mad with him, and you were wrong concerning that, Allah is angry with you.

The Parent is the Best Door to Jannah

He says (peace and blessings be upon him):

(الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ - al-walidu awsatu abwabil jannah)

Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1900

"The mother and the father are the best doors from the doors of al-Jannah."

The Jannah has eight doors. From this hadith we know one of those doors is the door of the parent.

Another door is the door of ar-Rayyan, for the sa'imi (those who fast). The six other doors - for us to put a name over it, or for us to say so and so will go in that door - you need the dalil from the Quran and the sunnah with the name of that door. The mother and the father, they have a door that you can enter into Jannah.

So anyone who grows up and he finds them, he doesn't go into one of those doors, may Allah put him far away, Jibril said. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Ameen."

The Story Behind the Hadith

This hadith has a story behind it. A man came and he told the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), "Ya Rasulullah, I have a woman that I love, I married her. And my mother orders me to divorce her." (Not the hadith of Abdullah ibn Umar [may Allah be pleased with them].)

Another man. "I married a woman that I love, I tremendously love her, my heart is connected to her. And my mother orders me to make divorce, to divorce her."

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

(الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ - al-walidu awsatu abwabil jannah)

Translation: "The parent is the best door to Jannah." That was his response.

So the scholars took from this hadith, a clear dalil: If it is a question of making your mother happy and making your wife happy, your mother has more rights (haq and awla).

Who Has More Rights?

Any woman that you're married to, who doesn't help you to practice the hadith of Abu Darda (may Allah be pleased with him).

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he was asked:

(يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَنْ أَحَقُّ النَّاسِ بِحُسْنِ صُحْبَتِي؟ - ya rasulallah, man ahaqqu an-nasi bi husni suhbati?)

Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5971; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2548

Translation: "Ya Rasulullah, who has more rights over me?"

He said: (أُمُّكَ - ummuka) (Your mother.)

And then who? (أُمُّكَ - ummuka) (Your mother.)

And then who? (أُمُّكَ - ummuka) (Your mother.)

And then who? (أَبُوكَ - abuka) (Your father.)

He didn't say (زَوْجَتُكَ - zawjatuka) (your wife).

Then your mother. And then your father. Your mother has more rights over you to please her than your wife.

Dealing with Difficult Situations

Your mother is (جاهلة - jahilah) (ignorant). She's self-centered. Your mother is ignorant. A person's mother, she only thinks about herself. She's a (عَابِدَةُ الدُّنْيَا - 'abidatu ad-dunya) (worshipper of the dunya). She loves the dunya. She doesn't know about the deen. She makes outrageous requests from you. She's wrong most of the time.

What do we do in these cases? Wallahi, she still has more rights than your wife. And the woman who you marry, who doesn't help you to give your mother her rights, why did you marry her? Why marry a woman who's not going to help you to fulfill this hadith?

And the sister who's in that situation, don't think that we're saying that it's easy for her. No. Her mother-in-law is ignorant, is a fitna. But that mother-in-law is a door to her Jannah.

The lady came to complain about her husband to Rasulullah. Rasulullah told that lady (peace and blessings be upon him):

(انْظُرِي إِلَيْهِ فَإِنَّهُ جَنَّتُكِ وَنَارُكِ - unzuri ilaihi fa innahu jannatuki wa naruki)

Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 19025

Translation: "Look at your husband and your position to your husband. Because he's your paradise or your hellfire."

He's someone who can help you, wife, to get to the Jannah. So the lady has to try to get to Jannah by helping her husband to take care of the huquq that his mother has over him.

For you brothers though and myself, let us not practice this hadith by giving our wives the feeling that we're more inclined to make them happy over our wives, over our mothers. No. If you can make both sides happy, then that's what you have to do.

But if it was this one or that one, your mother who gave you life has more rights. Three times, three times. So fear Allah as it relates to your mothers and your wives, as it relates to your mothers and your children.

The Story of the Three Men in the Cave

Those three men who went into the cave and the rock went over the cave and it covered the whole cave and each one said something of what they did.

One of the men said: "O Allah, You know my mother and my father they were old people and I used to go and I used to milk my animals and I would bring the milk and I will find my mother and my father they're sleeping and my kids will be screaming. They were hungry, they wanted to eat. They see the food, the milk and it makes them even more hungry. So they start screaming. Allah, You know that I didn't give them to eat. I stood over my mother and father waiting for them to wake up out of fear that they were... I didn't want to disturb them. I just stood there. You know that I did that for Yourself. So make the thing open."

And the thing was open. Another dalil.

Your mother and your father have more rights than your children, than your wife. As for the sister and her husband, her husband has more rights. She has to obey her husband over her father.

Her husband is the imam, the amir, her khalifa. And maybe doing the question and answers, inshallah, that will become more apparent.

The Importance of This Hadith

In this hadith, those of you who have the book, there's a very important point you have to pay attention to in the book.

It said:

(الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ، فَإِنْ شِئْتَ فَأَحْفَظُ، وَإِنْ شِئْتَ فَضَيِّعْ - al-walidu awsatu abwabil jannati, fa in shi'ta fa ahfaz, wa in shi'ta fa dayyi')

Translation: "The mother and father are the best door to paradise. So, if you want to protect it, protect it. And if you want to lose it, lose it."

This is not part of the hadith. Even in this book, they included it as the statement of Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him). They put it between the quotations.

So, they made the whole statement, the statement of Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him). Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) stops at (الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ - al-walidu awsatu abwabil jannah) stop. And then Abu Darda said, "Whoever wants to hold on to that door, let him hold on to it, protect it, maintain it. Whoever wants to lose it, then let him lose it."

So, that aspect of the hadith is mudraj (inserted), is idraj (an insertion). That's when the narrator says something that when the person heard it, he thought it was the hadith.

Another Example of Mudraj

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) sat before the people and he wanted to teach them about the importance of making the wudu. So, he says, Rasulullah said (peace and blessings be upon him):

أَسْبِعُوا الْوُضُوءَ، وَيْلٌ لِلْأَعْقَابِ مِنَ النَّارِ

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 163; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 241

Translation: "Do a good wudu. Woe to the heels from the hellfire."

What the Prophet said was only : وَيْلٌ لِلْأَعْقَابِ مِنَ النَّارِ . That's the kalam of Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him). Abu Hurairah said, "Make a good wudu."

So, the scholars of Al-Islam, the scholars of Al-Hadith, has a refutation on the lying Qurani. Liars, Wallahi. Those people who say we don't take the sunnah because we don't know what's authentic and what's not authentic.

The ulema of Al-Islam did not leave any hadith, except that we know it is okay or it's not okay. There's not a single hadith, except that they dissected it and they explained what it meant, was it authentic, when it was said, who said it, and on and on and on. So, anyone who wants to reject the sunnah, he has rejected Al-Islam, and he's a liar.

So, that hadith is mudraj. The last kalam is the kalam of Abu Darda (may Allah be pleased with him).

Clarification on "Paradise Under the Feet of Mothers"

And then, Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi brings the famous hadith as a dalil to show the importance of taking care of the parents. Pay attention, Ikhwani.

The hadith said:

(Source Name)

Translation: "Paradise is under the feet of the mothers."

Everyone heard this hadith. This is not an authentic hadith. Not only did the Prophet not say it (peace and blessings be upon him), but it is an extremely weak hadith. It is a hadith that is munkar (rejected). And it's not true, not in the chain of narration nor in the meaning.

Jannah is under the feet of a lady who doesn't pray, a lady who's a zaniya (fornicator), a lady who doesn't wear hijab. She's a criminal, a mushrika (one who commits shirk). Even if she's a Muslim, she doesn't pray. The closest she comes to making rukoo (bowing) is putting something in the oven, taking something out of the oven. She curses the religion. You have a beard? She curses the beard. She's an enemy to the deen. Jannah is under her feet? La wallahi. Jannah is not under the feet of someone like that.

The Correct Understanding

There was a man who came, and he wanted to make jihad with Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him).

And the Prophet asked him (peace and blessings be upon him):

(Source Name)

Reference: Sunan an-Nasa'i, Hadith 3104

Translation: "Do you have a mother? Your mother living?"

"Yes. She's living, ya Rasulullah." He said:

(Source Name)

Translation: "Go and take care of her. Be with her. Be around her. Because Jannah is under her feet."

That lady, who's a muttaqia (God-fearing), saliha (righteous), mu'mina (believer).

So someone sitting here, maybe your mother, maybe your grandmother, Jannah is under her feet. Which goes again to show, Ikhwan, the level of the mother in this deen. Especially the mother who is religious.

That the Jannah that the Prophet said about it (peace and blessings be upon him):

(Source Name)

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3244; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2824

Translation: "In the Jannah is what no eyes have ever seen, no ears have ever heard, and what has never crossed the heart of any human being."

Some of the stuff in the Jannah. Things in the Jannah that the people can't even contemplate what's in the Jannah.

And that religious mother, that exalted place is under her feet. The righteous, religious, Muslim woman who has given birth and raised the children on Al-Islam.

So Jannah can be under the feet of our mother Aisha, Khadija, Maymunah, Umm Salama, Umm Habibah (may Allah be pleased with them). Jannah is under the feet of our mother Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her).

But Jannah is not under the feet of every woman, whether she's a Muslim or a non-Muslim.

So that hadith is from what has been famously quoted as being a hadith of Rasul Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and it is not authentic. Do not say this hadith again. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says, "Paradise is under the feet of the mothers." No.

Paradise can be under the feet of a particular mother who has the deen. But we don't know that unless we have some dalil for that particular issue.

Jihad with Parents

Al-Imam Ad-Dahabi brought the next narration:

(Source Name)

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3004; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2549

Translation: "A man was about to go to perform the jihad. Rasul Allah made the call for the jihad. And the jihad is fard al-kifaya (communal obligation). He called the people for the jihad. The man came and he wanted to participate in the jihad. Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked him, 'Is your mother living? Your parents, are they living?' He said yes. He said, 'Then go back and make jihad in and with your mother and your father. Make jihad in and with your mother and your father.'"

Who is the Mujahid?

Who is the mujahid? And what is the jihad in Islam? He told us (peace and blessings be upon him):

(Source Name)

Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1621

Translation: "The mujahid is the one who makes jihad against his nafs in obeying Allah."

He has a mother who's ignorant, self-centered. All kinds of problems between his mother and his wife. Make jihad between them. You're in the middle, make jihad. Tolerate your mother, educate your mother. Be patient with your mother. There is a jihad with your mother.

Important Fiqh Points About Jihad and Parents

This hadith, Ikhwani, is a very important hadith. And it has some fiqh that we have to mention concerning it.

When the Prophet used to encourage the people to make jihad (peace and blessings be upon him), Allah revealed a number of ayahs telling the people about the evil of not going to make jihad:

Translation: "If you do not go forth, He will punish you with a painful punishment and will replace you with another people, and you will not harm Him at all. And Allah is over all things competent."

Translation: "Say, [O Muhammad], 'If your fathers, your sons... are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command...'"

Make war in the way of the deen. And whoever prefers the hayat al-dunya over that, he's going to be punished. Because the hayat al-dunya in comparison to the hereafter is nothing but a little bit. If you don't go out, Allah is going to prepare for you a grievous punishment and change you with a different people. And what you do does not hurt Allah one bit. And He's able and capable of doing everything.

And yet when the boy came to make jihad, Rasulullah knew his condition and told him: Go back and make jihad in your parents.

Because the jihad for the person who's taking care of his parents is not an obligation upon him. And the fard al-kifaya, like going to get knowledge.

Knowledge and Parents

Someone wants to go to Yemen, someone gets a scholarship to go to Medina, or to Mecca or Riyadh, or wherever in the dunya to get knowledge. He's been given an opportunity to go and learn or memorize the Quran from someone who has a chain of narration, of recitation all the way back to Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him). He gets a chance to go meet the biggest scholar in the dunya. But in going to do that, he's going to neglect his mother and his father. His mother and the father have more rights over him than what he's going to do.

And similar to it is his wife and his children.

Story of Al-Zubayr and Asma

Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr (may Allah be pleased with him) or al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, when he made the hajj with Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) and they were coming back from Mecca. His wife Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr was pregnant.

She went all the way to Mecca, did the rites of hajj, pregnant. This mother, she came all the way back on a camel. Before they entered into Medina, the pains of childbirth started to come. She wants to deliver the baby. So they had to stop.

Al-Zubayr told some of his relatives, "Hey, you stay with my wife. I'm going to remain with Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) so that I can continue to see the ahkam (rulings) of hajj." Didn't the Prophet tell

them before they left Medina:

(Source Name)

Reference: Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1297

Translation: "Take from me the rites of hajj."

He gathered the people and said, "Take from me the rites of hajj." So everyone was looking at everything that he did.

Al-Zubayr wanted to know knowledge, wants to know about the hajj. "You, my brother, my cousin, you take care of my wife while she has the baby."

Rasulullah told him (peace and blessings be upon him): No, you take care of your wife.

So he had to remain with his family while the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while the scholar and the knowledge left.

So how are you going to go and study in Medina and your children are going to be lost on welfare? It's not permissible. You have to stay with your parents, you have to stay with your children, you have to stay with those people you are responsible for.

The student of knowledge, my brothers, more than anyone, he's the one who tries to take care of and understand these issues. He takes care of his mother and his wife, his mother and his father, and he realizes in taking care of them comes the pleasure of Allah, which will allow him to have a happy marriage, which will allow him to be a good student of knowledge, Inshallah ta'ala.

Who Has the Most Rights?

I already mentioned the hadith where the man came and he says to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "Who has more rights for me to take care of him?"

He said: Your mother, your mother, your mother, and then your father.

There's another narration that he says (peace and blessings be upon him). It's from the fasaha (eloquence) of Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him):

"Who has the most rights over me, ya Rasulullah?"

• أُمُّكَ )Ummuka - your mother(

"And then who?"

The Rights of Sisters

As it relates to the sister, Ikhwani, those of us who have sisters who are not married. Your sister has a lot of rights on you, that you look for a husband for her, or you have a sister who was married and she's divorced, or she's a widow. You, her brother, you're responsible for her and her children.

She has huquq (rights), that's our deen. If the girl gets divorced, she goes back to her father's house. She doesn't go to a part of this city to live by herself, if we can help it. If we can help it, maybe you can help it. It's already too many people in your existing home.

"Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity."

Your sister gets divorced, she has rights that you maintain your sister and her children. But I have my own family and I don't make that much money. Okay, no problem. Go and take your niece and take your nephews and spend time with them and protect them and teach them the deen.

We have left our sisters.

أُمُّكَ وَأَبَاكَ وَأُخْتُكَ وَأَخَاكَ

Your mother, your father, your sister and then your brother. So we want to remind all of you brothers of the huquq of our sisters.

Those who have been divorced, we have to do a better job insha'Allah ta'ala or at least start to think about what we should be doing for them in terms of their children.

Those Who Will Not Enter Jannah

Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Translation: "And it is reported that Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) says: The one who does mann will not go into the Jannah, nor the one who is disobedient to his parents, nor the one who is addicted to intoxicants, nor the one who believes in magic."

المَنَّان is the person who when you give him something he reminds you what he gave you. "You remember I gave you that? So you should do this for me." المنان. If you're going to give, just give for Allah. The one who does that will not go into the Jannah.

As well as the one who's addicted to شَرَابٍ (alcohol)to خَمْرٍ (wine) or to crack, or to marijuana, cannabis, or to any other narcotic or drug. He won't go into the Jannah.

And he won't go into the Jannah, the one who believes in magic - either puts magic on people or once magic is put on him he does magic to get the magic off of him.

This hadith seems to be weak. I couldn't check the hadith because my books are still in prison to this very day. But it seems from the minhaj (methodology) of Al-Imam Al-Dhahabi, he said رُوِيَ (it is reported). So whenever the ulama say رُوِيَ it's been reported, it's been recorded, it's been narrated - that's not his way of saying Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) said it, but it's been narrated.

More Evidence About the Major Sins

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6675)

Translation: "Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) said that a Bedouin came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, what are the major sins?' He said: 'Shirk (associating partners) with Allah.' He said: 'Then what?' He said: 'Then disobedience to parents.' He said: 'Then what?' He said: 'Then al-yameen al-ghamoos (the false oath).'"

What is the greatest sin, O Messenger of Allah? To make shirk with Allah. And then after that what? To be disobedient to your parents. And then after that what? اليَمِينُ الغَمُوسُ - for a person, and this is going to come up, to swear and he's lying.

The One Who Practices Islam But Disobeys Parents

Translation: "He (may Allah have mercy on him) said: He will not enter the Jannah - the one who is disobedient to his parents, nor the one who disbelieves in the divine decree (qadar)."

Translation: "The man came and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, if I pray the five prayers, I fast in Ramadan, I give the zakat and I make the hajj to the house, then what else do I have to do?' He said: 'Anyone who does that he will be raised up with the nabiyeen (prophets) and the siddiqueen (truthful ones) and the shuhada (martyrs) and the salihin (righteous) - except if he was disobedient to his parents.'"

If he was disobedient to his parents and he did all of these ibadat (acts of worship) of al-Islam then Allah Ta'ala:

Translation: "Allah Ta'ala will not give him that reward and that virtue. Every sin Allah will delay it. He won't hold you responsible for it. It's possible. Every sin, any sin a person does, Allah may delay punishing him until Yawm al-Qiyamah. Put him in the hellfire and clean him up. But in the dunya, Allah may still give him money. Allah may still make his life easy. Every sin that a person does, Allah may delay it. May delay punishing him or giving him the results of what he put forth from the evil. But Allah won't delay عُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ (disobedience to parents)."

If a person is bad to his parents, then Allah will give him what he deserves in the dunya.

He says (peace and blessings be upon him):

Translation: "Two doors, Allah will speed up the recompense for the person who falls into the door - the person who oppresses other people and the person who is not good to his parents."

Allah's Prohibitions

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5975; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 593)

Translation: "Allah has made haram for you being disrespectful and disobedient to your mothers. And He has made haram for you burying your daughters alive. And He has made haram for you man'an wa hat."

مَنْعًا وَهَاتِ means:

• مَنْعًا - the person when he's asked he doesn't give
• هَاتِ - the one who goes around begging. "Can I have? Can you give me? Can I have?" He made that haram for you to be a beggar.

So the point is:

A Man Can Never Repay His Father

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1510)

Translation: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'A man will never be able to repay his father unless he finds his father as a slave and he purchases him and then sets him free.'"

His praise be to Allah, a man will never be able to repay his father. Never in the dunya. There's no way in the world it's impossible for a man to repay his father. If he can't repay his father - your mother, your mother, your mother - then it's out of the question. You can't repay your mother.

A man will never be able to repay his father unless he found his father as a slave to another man. His father was put into slavery and he found him like that. So he purchases his father's freedom and then he lets him go.

That's the only way a man can repay his father. So none of our fathers are going to be slaves - the real meaning of slavery.

Understanding Slavery in Islam

But some of our fathers are slaves. Slaves to the shirk and the kufr of the peer (spiritual leader). The father is a slave to the peer. If the peer told your dad "give me half of your life savings," your father would do it, believing that the peer is a wali from the awliya (saints) of Allah.

So free your fathers from the slavery of those type of people. If a man finds his father as a slave and he purchases his freedom, he purchases it and the son gave his father some of his rights.

Fiqh Point About Slavery

And Ikhwan, this hadith is a hadith that has some fiqh. It goes to show in the religion of Islam it's haram for a

man to own his own father. Slavery is a part of Islam and it's going to return. And slavery doesn't mean a group of people or particular color or nation of slaves.

Anyone can be a slave. Whoever fights against the religion when jihad is fought correctly, the Muslims defeat them, take them as slaves. And take their women as captives and the women are your property and he has 20 and he has 40 and he's a rich man and he has 600. It's all from the religion.

If a man found his father as a slave he can never put his father in slavery from this hadith. Automatically the father is free.

Sign of the Hour

But in the last day there are going to be people who are going to put their parents in slavery. In the hadith of Jibreel about Iman and Ihsan and Islam from the signs of the hour:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 8)

Translation: "You will see the slave girl giving birth to her master/mistress."

That's one of the signs of the hour. Some of the scholars said the meaning of that is people will put their mothers and their fathers in slavery and have them in slavery. It'll get to that level where the people treat their parents in that type of a way.

The Maternal Aunt and Paternal Uncle

He went on to say (may Allah have mercy on him) that the Prophet says (peace and blessings be upon him):

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2699)

Translation: "The maternal aunt (khalah) is like the mother."

Ikhwan, with a show of hands: Your mother, she has some sisters and your father has some sisters. How many of you are closer to your mother's sisters? Put your hand up. How many are closer to your father's sisters? Now some of you didn't put your hands up.

Let's try it again. How many of you are closer to your mother's sisters? How many? Look around. It's going to always be like that in every masjid.

Because your mother's sisters look at you like you are her daughter, her sons. That's the fitrah (natural disposition) of Allah in women. So Rasulullah says (peace and blessings be upon him):

الْخَالَةُ بِمَنْزِلَةِ الْأُمِّ

The oldest sister, youngest sister, when your mother had you, she looked at you - your aunt, your khala - like you are her flesh and blood.

And he says (peace and blessings be upon him):

الْعَمُّ بِمَنْزِلَةِ الْوَالِدِ

Translation: "And your father's brother is like the father."

Your father's brother is like the father, your uncle from your father's side.

The Story Behind This Hadith

This hadith has a story behind it. It's a long hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. When the companions went and conquered Mecca, and they opened up Mecca, Ali ibn Abi Talib and his brother Jafar ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with them both) along with Zaid ibn Harithah (may Allah be pleased with all of them), they saw the daughter of Hamza.

They saw the daughter of Hamza, the uncle of Ali and his brother Jafar. Hamza was dead by that time. So they went to Mecca and all three of them said, "I want to take care of the girl."

So they went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and they said:

• Ali said: "Ya Rasulullah, this is Hamza's daughter, my niece. Hamza you know is my uncle, so I have more rights."

• His brother Jafar said: "Ya Rasulullah, this is Hamza, my uncle's daughter and her aunt, her (khalah) is my wife."

• Zaid ibn Harithah said: "Ya Rasulullah, she is the daughter of my brother." (Zaid is not even related to Hamza, he means in Islam.) "I want to take care of the Muslim girl. Her father was a man of virtue. If I take care of this daughter, inshallah it's going to help me on the day of Qiyamah as well."

Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

الْخَالَةُ بِمَنْزِلَةِ الْأُمِّ

The mother, the khalah is like the mother and he gave the girl to Jafar.

So in the law of custody, when the aunt is there, the judge in Al-Islam can allow the khalah to take over the child. But khalah, she is up there as it relates to who comes in line of taking care of the custody of the child. Because her daughter or her sister, the mother of the child, they both looked at the child the same way.

Narration from the Isra'iliyat

We're almost done here with the last Athar. And it is the Athar of Wahab ibn Munabbah who was from the Tabi'een (the generation after the Companions). And one of the first people to have a book of Hadith written.

And we want to dig into the archives to pass out a thing that we wrote concerning Wahab ibn Munabbah and some advice that he gave to a man who was about to go with the Khawarij. And it's similar to the people of Al-Jahwa Ta'dil today. The fitna of this issue with Al-Imam Wahab ibn Munabbah.

Tremendous scholar, who was a scholar of the Isra'iliyat - the narrations from the Jews and the Christians.

Anyway, without going through it, it's from the Isra'iliyat - we don't believe it, we don't disbelieve it. He said that:

Allah said to Musa: "Ya Musa, respect and take care of your parents fervently. Whoever takes care of his parents, I will increase his age, his lifespan. And I will give him a child that will take care of him. And whoever is disobedient to his parents, I will make his lifespan short. And I will give him a child that is disrespectful to him."

So Ka'b, Ka'b Al-Ahbar, one of the other ulama from the Tabi'in who knew a lot about the Isra'iliyat, Ka'b, he said:

"I swear by Allah, the one who my soul is in His hands, Allah will split up the life of an individual who is not good to his parents and he'll punish him. He'll punish him and give him his punishment quickly. And Allah will increase the good in the life of the slave who is good to his parents."

This is from the Isra'iliyat. We don't believe that Allah said this to Musa, unless it came in the Quran and the Sunnah. But everything that was said in here, we have authentic hadith that support all of it.

Conclusion

So, Ikhwani, maybe you didn't know prior to today, the seriousness and the severity of taking care of your parents. Now you heard the statements of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

So let us begin from this point on, inshallah, to try to be diligent with our mothers as well as our fathers.

وَصَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلَّمَ

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ