How Can We Break Bad Habits

How Can We Break Bad Habits?

The Importance of Daily Self-Accountability

What can we do to break these bad habits? Well, like I mentioned, it is consistency. But also, to always check ourselves every single day.

Hold yourselves accountable before you're held accountable.

Meaning, check yourselves before you're checked, before the Day of Judgment, before death comes. Every single day. You know how outside in this society, people make New Year's resolutions? We make New Day resolutions every day.

It's not the New Year. Because you never know how, when your final moments in this dunya are going to be. And so, we have to.

The People of Paradise Are Not Sinless

Of course, we're not perfect. And the people of Jannah are not perfect. Allah does not say that the people of Jannah don't commit sins. No. Allah says:

"And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the righteous (Muttaqin)."

Now, who are the Muttaqun?

"Those who spend [in the way of Allah] during ease and hardship"

Those who spend in times of ease and in times of hardship. Now, who are the people who spend in times of ease and hardship? They're the ones who are consistent in doing good deeds. No matter what the situation is, they're always generous, and they're always consistent in doing good deeds.

"And who restrain anger"

And those who hold back their anger, meaning these are people of strong determination and people of strength mentally. They're strong and they can hold back because the person who is strong, as the

Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, isn't the one who is able to out-wrestle another. It's the one who is able to hold back when he's angry.

"And who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good."

And those who are forgiving, who forgive others. And surely Allah loves those who do good. I mean, they're consistent in doing good deeds, and they're also forgiving, meaning they are a people who have good relations with other people, and they are forgiving.

The Power of Forgiveness

And that's why Allah forgives them also. For those who are forgiving to others, Allah is also forgiving towards them. But sometimes you might say, how can I forgive someone when they have said this and done this to me? And sometimes it is difficult.

When you go to sleep, and sometimes you lose sleep over things that people say and do to you. Sometimes they say to us or do to us, we lose sleep, and sometimes we don't want to forgive them, and deep down inside, I'll see you on the Day of Judgment. You might say (إِنْ شَاءَ اللهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ - in sha'a Allah yawm al-qiyama). But you know, it's always better to forgive.

But sometimes it's difficult. Then how can you forgive? Well, I'm going to give you a tool or something that we can do, a mindset that we can have. Whenever you have a grudge or someone has done something to you, and you find it difficult to forgive them, I want you to think about this.

I want you to say to yourself, if I forgive such and such a person, I will have Jannah. Because the people who forgive are the people of Paradise. Is Jannah not worth it? Or do I want to keep this in my heart and lose sleep over it? Do you want Jannah? Is Jannah not worth it? Hopefully, inshaAllah, Jannah is worth it, no matter what has happened to you.

Repentance and Quick Return to Allah

To learn to forgive, learn to make dua to Allah, and we will make mistakes. And Allah says:

"And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah"

Those who when they commit a lewd act or they commit a transgression or oppress themselves or wrong themselves, meaning by committing sins and by wronging themselves, they remember Allah. The first thing is to remember Allah.

And then:

"And seek forgiveness for their sins"

And they ask - فـ here means quickly. They quickly, immediately, ask forgiveness for their sins.

"And who can forgive sins except Allah?"

And who is there that can forgive sins except Allah? And then the key here:

"And [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know."

And they are not persistent in what they do or what they have done, knowingly. That's the key. So what does that mean? It means that a believer, a believer can make a mistake. But a believer never falls, is never bitten from the same snake hole twice.

Never Be Bitten from the Same Hole Twice

You can make a mistake, but we are not bitten from the same snake hole twice. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6133, Sahih Muslim 2998)

"A believer is not stung from the same hole twice."

A believer is never bitten from the same snake hole twice. So let's say for example, you sleep, and you overslept, and you maybe were late for Fajr. You say (أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ أَسْتَغْفِرُ الله - astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah). So you go to sleep the next day, it shouldn't happen again.

The next day, you should take precautionary measures. You should set the alarm, whether it be an alarm clock that you have or your phone, to set that alarm. And let's say, okay, that does not work. And it happens again. Well, do something else. Do not take it lightly, and do not let the exact same thing happen to you again.

Make sure, and it might happen again, but don't let the same reason be the cause at least. And that's why, what do they say, what's the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Like change.

Do something else. If you've fallen because this is causing you to commit a sin, then you have to take the proper steps, or at least plan to take the steps to correct it. You might make a mistake, but at least

learn from your mistake, and think about the causes.

And sometimes, one of the reasons might be because you're with bad company. And so sometimes you have to let go of those who pull you away from Allah. And sometimes you have to make drastic changes.

The Struggle Makes Us Stronger - The Butterfly Example

For some of us, maybe just like a butterfly. A butterfly sometimes starts with a cocoon, and you think that's the end of its life. It goes into a caterpillar, and it goes into the cocoon, and you think that's the end of its life, but then it breaks out of it, and it flies.

But then at the same time also, there's a struggle there. If you want to kill a butterfly, then help it get out of its cocoon. So if you were to see the struggle, and you open up the cocoon so that the butterfly can come out faster from the cocoon, you have just killed the butterfly.

Because it will not be strong enough to fly. Because that struggle that it has to take to break out of the cocoon is strengthening its wings. And so sometimes Allah will test us with some trials and tribulations.

Never Lose Hope in Allah's Mercy

And know that Allah, when He tests us with something, we should never lose hope nor give up.

"And do not despair of the mercy of Allah"

Never lose hope in the comforting mercy of Allah.

"Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people."

No one loses hope in the comforting mercy of Allah except for disbelievers.

Now why is it that one who loses hope in the comforting mercy of Allah is a disbeliever? Why is that the case? Because one who loses hope, it's as if he's saying, You don't know what I'm going through and I can't handle what I'm going through. A'udhu billah. How can you say such things? But to lose hope, that's exactly what you're saying.

But you have to understand, Allah knows what we're going through. Allah knows what we're going through. And He knows that we can handle it. Because He will never burden us with anything we can't

handle. He will never burden us with anything we can't handle. And sometimes He wants us to be stronger.

And He gives us no option except to be stronger so that we can be stronger. And so how can we be stronger? It's all about consistency. And when you abandon a bad deed to follow it up with a good deed.

The Powerful Hadith: Three Keys to Change

And listen to this hadith here. It's a beautiful hadith to help us abandon bad deeds and to be strong in determination. It's the hadith of Abu Dharr al-Ghifari in which he said that the Prophet ﷺ has said, It's a very short hadith but so much benefit can be extracted from it. He said:

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1987)

"Have taqwa of Allah wherever you are"

Have taqwa. Fear Allah and have taqwa in Allah wherever you may be.

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1987)

"And follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it"

And follow a bad deed with a good deed. And it will erase it. Erase the bad deed.

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1987)

"And treat the people with good character."

And deal with the people with the best of manners.

A very short hadith, but let me explain to you why it's so powerful اتَّقِ اللهَ حَيْثُمَا كُنْتَ - Have taqwa wherever you are. No matter where you are, have taqwa and be conscious of Allah at all times.

That's between you and Allah. And you're going to make mistakes. But if we make mistakes, what did the Prophet ﷺ say? And follow a bad deed with a good deed. And it will wipe it out. This here is a key to abandoning bad habits. Because if you abandon a bad habit, you leave a vacuum.

Fill the Vacuum with Good Deeds

You have to fill that vacuum with a good deed. Otherwise, the bad habit will come back. That's why you follow up with a good deed.

If you've repented from listening to music or watching haram, maybe videos or you're addicted to certain types of movies, Hollywood and Bollywood and the likes. You might say, you know what?

Astaghfirullah, I'm going to leave it. But if you're going to leave it, first and foremost, the repentance has to be sincere.

Because there are some people who they say they've repented. And then they put away the movies and the CDs and the DVDs in a box. And they put it up in the attic and said, Astaghfirullah.

But why did they put it in the shoebox? Because deep down inside in the back of their minds, what if I change? I go back. Those videos were very expensive. I spent a lot of money on it.

You know, if something happens, let's go. And so it's as if they have repented, but they have kept the bad habit within an arm's reach. That's not sincere repentance.

Sincere repentance has to be accompanied by the conviction that you will never ever return to it again. And what you should do is just destroy it and get rid of it. So that you don't even have the opportunity to go back to it.

And that's sincerity. And then, what are you going to do? Well, the time that you used to spend doing those bad deeds, what should you do? You should spend it in doing something else. Don't just say, okay, that's free time for me.

Alhamdulillah, that's free time for me. No, fill that time with good deeds. With the recitation of the Qur'an, watching beneficial videos of lectures.

Oh, you like to watch videos? Yes, there are videos that are very beneficial. Instead of those movies, now instead of listening to music, change it, put Qur'an. And if you have to, a nasheed that are permissible.

And then if you have to, it's okay. But as long as you don't go back to that which is prohibited. But fill it up. Otherwise, that vacuum will be filled again with the bad deed.

The Amazing Story of Al-Fudayl ibn lyad

And so, I know I won't take more of your time, but just give me a few more minutes. I'm just going to give you a couple of other examples. And we will end it inshaAllah. Because I don't want the reputation that I have in Seattle to follow me to Bradford. You know what they say in Seattle? They say, never give a woman a telephone or Ustadh Abdul Bari a microphone.

I don't know what that means, but I hear people saying it. But I don't know what that really means. But anyways, I don't want that reputation to follow me here.

So, bear with me for just a few more minutes inshaAllah. And we will end it. Now, to make that change, to make that conviction, to make that change, don't just change for the better, but change for the best.

If you're going to change, why not change for the best? Because better is the enemy of best. You have to give it your all. There was a person. He was known for his piety and righteousness. A great scholar. Not only was he known for his piety and righteousness, but his nickname was (عَابِدُ الْحَرَمَيْنِ - A'bidul Haramayn).

Do you know what that means? Worshipper. The worshipper of Mecca and Medina. The worshipper of Mecca and Medina. (عَابِدُ الْحَرَمَيْنِ - A'bidul Haramayn). The worshipper of the two holiest cities. That was his nickname.

Because of his piety and righteousness, he was very cautious, even in his words. One day he said, I know someone. I know someone who's so careful with his words, that at the end of the week, he knows how many words that he spoke in that week.

Because nothing comes out of his mouth, except he holds himself accountable for it. Because on the Day of Judgment, every word that we say, we will be accountable for it. So if it's not going to be beneficial, he's not going to say it.

Forget about haram. We're talking about mubah, permissible. Permissible speech here. Permissible, yet if it's not beneficial, that's what the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6018, Sahih Muslim 47)

"Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent."

Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say that which is good, or let him be quiet. So he was so careful. He said, I know someone, an imam that counts his words.

That's the kind of person this person is. And so you know what Imam al-Dhahabi, he said? His name, of course, is al-Fudayl ibn lyad. He says al-Fudayl. When he mentioned that, he said, I know someone. It's none other than himself. But he didn't want to brag.

He did not want to say, oh, you know me? I don't know, of course. He says, I know someone. And Imam al-Dhahabi says, no other than himself. That's the type of person that he was (عَابِدُ الْحَرَمَيْنِ). But you know, he wasn't like that before. There was a time in his youth that he was feared.

From Ruthless Thief to Worshipper of the Two Holy Mosques

He was feared because he was so ruthless. He was feared because he was the robber of Mecca and Medina. He was the thief. He was a thief. Not any type of thief. He was a type of person that mothers used to scare their children with before they would go to sleep if their children didn't go to sleep.

And they would mention his name. Like, you know, nowadays you have some parents, they say, if you don't go to sleep, the boogeyman is coming to get you. He was that boogeyman.

Mentioning his name sent shivers down people's spines because he was so ruthless. But not only ruthless. He used to do this to the people of Mecca and Medina.

One day, he said, I was on the roof, about to jump into a house. I was on the roof, about to jump into a house. And I heard an old man. And I saw him standing up in prayer at night time. These guys, they go around at night time, of course. I saw him standing in prayer at night time, crying profusely, reciting the Qur'an in his prayers.

And I said to myself, why is this man crying so profusely? And so he sits and listens to his recitation. And he comes across a verse in which Allah says:

"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah?"

Is it not time? Is it not time for the believers to have their hearts tremble and melt in the remembrance of Allah? In other words, is it not time for the believers to repent to Allah, to be affected by the remembrance of Allah? Isn't it time to change? Is it not time?

Al-Fudayl ibn lyad, when he heard this verse, and this man reciting with such emotions, he also broke down and he cried. And he said to himself, Oh, Fudayl, I think it is time. I think it is time. He jumped from the house and he's walking and walking in the desert, thinking about his life and what he had done, thinking about that verse, asking him, is it not time? He says, it is time, oh Fudayl, it is time.

The Moment of Transformation

So he comes across, he comes to an area where he finds a tent and there was a fire there. He goes to them and he sits outside the tent and he can see the light from inside and he could hear two people inside that tent speaking to one another.

One of them says, you know, we should really get going. We need to keep on moving. We can't stop here that long. The other one says, do you know where we are? We are in an area inhabited by the ruthless Fudayl. I'm not going out at night time in this area when I know he is out there.

Al-Fudayl, he hears his voice, he hears his voice trembling and he says, the people should not be trembling because they hear my name. They shouldn't. Their hearts should be trembling when they hear Allah's name, when they remember Allah.

Isn't it time, oh Fudayl, that your hearts tremble when they remember Allah? It is time. So he goes and repents to Allah, takes a shower that night, goes to the masjid and he's praying and he's crying and crying until Fajr. And from that day on, and you know this story, one of the reasons why he mentions this story is because one of his students said, oh Imam, when I was younger, I used to hear your name.

My mother used to mention things about you. How did you change to be such a person that you are now? And so he tells them this story. So from that day on, he studied with the scholars of Mecca and Medina.

And he didn't just become a regular Muslim. He didn't just say, let me be better. He was aiming to be the best. The best person that he could be. To the point where he became not just al-Fudayl ibn lyad, but (عَابِدُ الْحَرَمَيْنِ - Abid al-Haramayn), worshipper of Mecca and Medina.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

So all of us, we are given a new chance every day to be better. But don't just be better. Be the best that you can be. Be the best Muslim. Be the best in everything that you do. And Allah says:

"You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah."

You are the best of nations brought forth for the people. You enjoin what is good and forbid what is wrong and you believe in Allah.

And right now, it's even more important for us not just to be better, but to be the best. Because of all this, all the problems that we have around us, people are speaking badly about Islam. The media is bashing Islam left and right.

But what can we do as individuals? We always blame the times that we're living in. There's nothing wrong with the times that we're living in. The only thing that's wrong with the times that we're living in is us.

We Must Be Extraordinary Representatives of Islam

We have to be the best neighbors. We have to be the most honest of people. We have to be the most helpful of people. We can't be ordinary. We have to be extraordinary. People look at us as being different. We can't just be different. We have to make a difference.

We have to be the best neighbors, the best co-workers, the most honest of people, and the most helpful of people. And if we are like that, it would not matter what BBC, ABC, NBC, especially Fox, they

can say anything that they want. Because, you know, as they say, your actions speak so loud. I can't even hear what you're saying.

We can drown out all those voices in the media by showing people what true Islam really is. And if we are the best, our neighbors will know. And they will say, you guys at Fox and BBC, CBC, whatever it is, you guys in the media, you're lying. I know a Muslim. I have a neighbor who's a Muslim. He's the best neighbor I have ever had.

That's Islam. I have a co-worker. He's the most honest worker in the company. Never checks his personal email. Very honest. Whether we're looking at him or not, I know he's working. So trustworthy. And if we're like that, the media can yell and scream all they want. Your co-worker, your classmates will say, I know a Muslim.

That's what true Islam is. I know those guys in the news that they're saying those are Muslims, they're terrorists, and they're doing this and that. No, no, they don't represent Islam. My neighbor is the one who represents Islam. My neighbor is the most helpful person in the whole neighborhood. I see him walking in the streets, picking up rubbish in front of other people's houses.

Isn't that what Islam teaches us? And then the neighbor will come to you and say, why are you like this? And you can tell them, because this is what Islam teaches me. Do you want to know more about Islam? And they will sit and listen to you. And inshallah, they'll accept Islam because they'll see how extraordinary you are.

And the least of which is they will not be affected by the media. But everyone here is responsible. We as individuals are responsible. If you're living in this country, you're responsible. We are responsible. We represent Islam in the Muslims.

Individual Responsibility and Hope for Change

We are at the forefront of the Muslim ummah. There's no better place for us to live than here because we have an opportunity to show people what Islam really is. Every day.

But unfortunately, sometimes that's not reality. The Muslims are known for being fraudulent, lying. Muslim neighborhoods are the dirtiest neighborhoods sometimes. We're known for all types of crimes, drugs, all kinds of things. But there is hope and we can change. But everyone can make a difference.

And it starts with us. Because Allah says, Allah will not change what's in the people until they change what's in themselves. Until they change what's in themselves.

New Year. I know we don't celebrate the New Years, but I'm just saying a new day. Let's have a new you. And not just a better you, but the best that you can be. So when we're sitting at home and it's

Start Now - Be the Best Muslim

Let me be that best Muslim. Let me be that best Muslim. It's time to change. And let it be right now. Not after you get married. Not after you make hajj. Not after you finish your mortgage. Not after you retire. But right now, before we leave this door, be the best Muslim in Bradford.

Why can't we do that? We ask Allah to teach us that which benefits us. And benefit us from that which He has taught us.