Formula for Change

Formula for Change

Opening Takbir and Adhan

حَيَّ عَلَى الْكَلَامِ، اللهُ أَكْبَرُ، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ

Khutbah Introduction

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ.

O you who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

O you people, fear your Lord who created you from one soul, and He created from her her husband, and He spread from them many men and women. And fear Allah in whom you ask for mercy. Indeed, Allah is ever watching over you.

O you who believe, fear Allah and say the right words. He will correct your deeds and forgive your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His messenger, he has won a great victory.

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللهِ، وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا، وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ، وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ، وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ.

As for what follows, the most truthful hadith is the Book of Allah, and the best guide is the guide of Muhammad, and the worst of matters are the newly invented ones, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

A Story of Change: The Power of a Child's Words

It was in the middle of the night when a man came out of his room and went to the living room. He left his warm bed, he left his wife, and he went to the living room and turned on the TV. Afterwards, he put in a cassette tape or a video cassette tape, and he was sitting down to watch pornography.

At this moment, his daughter, who was five years old, came out of her room and saw her father watching what he was watching. She said, "Shame on you, father. Shame on you." And she turned

around and returned to her room.

The brother looked for the remote, tried to turn off his TV in time, but he was too late. The words, "Shame on you, father. Shame on you," kept on repeating over and over and over, again and again in his head.

That morning—this was in the morning, this is the time when the believers get up to pray to Allah tahajjud—and he was watching pornography. Because of the words of his daughter, he went and he took a shower, and he went to the masjid. Tears were coming down his eyes the whole time. When prayer started, he started crying profusely. After prayer, he continued crying. Tears were coming down his eyes, he was crying so much that the brothers around him who attended Fajr thought maybe a great calamity had befallen upon this brother. So all of them asked, when they went by him, "Brother, is there anything I can do for you? Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can help you with?" So he just shook his head.

That day he went to work, and his eyes were red from the crying, from what had happened last night. His co-worker asked him. He said to him, "Brother, is there something wrong?" So he told them, he said, "Brother, for almost forty years I haven't made sujood to Allah until this morning. I haven't made sujood to Allah willingly until this morning." So he was remorseful for all those years that had passed.

The Daughter's Passing and the Light That Remained

So he came back home. He found his wife crying. After coming back from work, he found his wife crying, and he said, "What's wrong?" In his mind, he was thinking maybe his daughter had said something to her, and so he said, "What's wrong?" She said, "Do you know that our daughter just passed away?"

And so they prepared the janazah. And when it was time to bury his daughter, he was the one that was in the grave. He was about to put her inside the lahd, the side in the grave, put her in the grave. And a smile came to his face. A smile came to his face.

So his friends who were there, they said, "You've been crying all this time. Why is it at the time when you put your daughter in the grave, this smile has come on your face? Why do you see a smile on your face?" They were wondering, this is his friend. So he said, "Today I lost my daughter, but she left a light, a nur, that still remains in my heart right now."

Then later on, afterwards, he continued, he always went to the masjid, and he was a changed person, always close to Allah, always keeping up with his prayers and so forth. This light, though, remained in his heart, and he was a changed person from that time on.

The Concept of Change in Islam

Change. This is a word that we always promise ourselves. Every day, every month, every year, every Ramadan, we will say, you know, we'll be a changed person. We will change. And Allah gives us many opportunities to change. He gives us the five daily prayers—as-salatul khams—from Jumu'ah to Jumu'ah, from Jumu'ah to Jumu'ah, and Ramadan to Ramadan. These are expiations for you if you avoid the major sins.

So Allah makes us, or tells us to pray, so that we can change, and so that we ourselves change within ourselves and have the opportunity to also change the community. And this is what Ramadan was for us. And if we are changed after Ramadan, then this is also a sign that Allah has accepted our deeds. Afterwards, but if we are the same, we turn back to the old, our old self, then this is also a bad sign that maybe Allah did not accept our deeds.

The Need for Change in the Muslim Ummah

So during the times right now that we are in, our community, the Muslim Ummah, is in need of change. And I'm not talking about change that's mentioned in McCain's political slogans or Obama's political slogans. No, the Ummah itself, the Muslims, we ourselves, we have to change. But where do we start? Where do we start with this change?

The Prophet's First Words in Medina: The Foundation of Change

Let's learn from some of the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ when he first came to Medina. What were his first words? Because these words will be the foundation of a stronger community. These words will be the foundation of a stronger Ummah. These words will be a stronger foundation, a foundation for the stronger, a stronger family.

And so when the Prophet ﷺ, when he arrived in Medina from Mecca, the turning point in Islam—this is the time in which before the Muslims were oppressed—now this is the turning point, the time of change, where the Muslims will have the upper hand from now on. They will be strong and they will be an established Muslim state.

But how? What did the Prophet ﷺ tell the companions when he arrived? He said:

(Sunan Ibn Majah 3251, Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2485)

O people! Spread the salam, feed the people, join relations, and pray at night when the people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise in peace.

The First Foundation: Spreading the Salam

The first thing that you do, he said, help each other, start feeding each other, and join relations. First of all, he said, give the salams, and then help the needy. And then the Prophet ﷺ said, and join relations, and pray at night time when the people are sleeping.

The first thing that you do, the first sunnah that has been forgotten—I mean, one of the sunnahs that has been forgotten in our times right now—is spreading the salams, spreading the salams. Most people, they look at the salams as something that's very insignificant, but this is the beginning of your path to paradise, to give salams.

Because the Prophet ﷺ, he said in another hadith which is authentic, he mentioned clearly to us, he said:

(Sahih Muslim 54)

You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love each other. Shall I not show you something that if you were to go forward and do it, you will love each other? Spread the salams amongst yourselves.

The Signs of the Day of Judgment Regarding Salam

And amongst the signs of the Day of Judgment is that people will leave this sunnah. You might say, well, people are still giving salams. But you know what? The Prophet ﷺ said amongst the signs of the Day of Judgment:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6253)

That when a person gives salams, it's only because he needs something, wants to know something.

For example, somebody comes into the masjid and he says, "Brother, as-salamu alaykum, brother. Do you know where the closest halal restaurant is? As-salamu alaykum, brother. Did you see the key that was left here? Did you see anybody take it?" Would he have given salams if he didn't need to know anything? He wouldn't. We don't give salams to each other, and we only give salams to the people who are closest that we know. When we meet Muslims, we don't give salams. It's only for information, for something that we need. And then afterwards...

The Second Foundation: Loving One Another

After you give salams, the Prophet said, you will not enter Jannah until you believe. You will not believe until you love each other. Would you like me to show you something that if you were to do it, you would love each other? Give the salams.

So the second is that we have to love each other. We have to work with each other, and the fundamentals of our belief, part of our iman, is loving our brothers for the sake of Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith that I'm sure all of us have heard before, and all of us we know, but do we practice it? And what's that hadith?

(Sahih al-Bukhari 13, Sahih Muslim 45)

None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.

You will not believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself. Most people think this is a high level to achieve. This is mashallah, if somebody can achieve this particular, that's like the pyramid of iman. No. You know what? Al-Imam al-Nawawi, rahimahullah, he said this is the minimum requirement for every Muslim. This is the minimum requirement. لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ - None of you truly believes. This is minimum requirement. You know, you have to love for your brother what you love for yourself.

The Praiseworthy Position: Preferring Others Over Yourself

Then what's the praiseworthy position? The praiseworthy position is that you love for your brother more than what you even love for yourself. It's preference, preferring your brother over your own self.

And they prefer others over themselves, even though they are in need.

That's the praiseworthy position. And so as Muslims, we ourselves, in order to establish a strong community, we have to start working together. We have to start with the little things and loving each other.

Building Love Through Gift-Giving

So how do we build this love amongst the community? How do we build this love in our family members? How do we do it? The first thing, one of the ways, is by giving each other gifts. The Prophet ﷺ, he said:

(Al-Adab al-Mufrad 594)

Give gifts to one another and you will love one another.

As Muslims, you know, with the holiday seasons coming up in America, it's the time of giving and so forth. But you know, that's the most stressful time to the Americans, the people in America, the non-Muslims, those who celebrate Christmas and so forth. If you ask them, what is the most stressful time of the year? They will tell you it's the holiday seasons. Why is it so stressful when they should be

The Islamic Approach to Gift-Giving

As Muslims, some Muslims also during their Eid and so forth, we make that as a day or a time in which we give gifts to our parents, give gifts to our friends and family members and so forth. But you know, as Muslims, there's no specific time to give gifts. The Prophet ﷺ generalized. He opened it up. Whenever you give gifts, and the gifts that have the most meaning are the gifts that you give when the other person is not expecting. If he is expecting it, then it isn't a surprise, and it doesn't build that love.

So Eid isn't a time to give gifts. As Muslims, you give gifts all the time. But if you're expecting it, like, for example, the holiday season we have right now, people are expecting it. So they might, they have to give to somebody else too. So if they receive something that is less than their expectations, they say, "You know what? I spent more money for this guy. Why don't you just get this, this little thing? I spent even more for the other person." So they are not happy.

A gift might be very valuable. It might be very expensive, but it doesn't have that effect. But what if you're not expecting anything, and a brother comes to you, he says, "Brother, I have here a box of candy, or a watch, or anything, or just something very small, very insignificant, very small," but he gives it to you as a gift. Are you happy? Say, "Mashallah, jazakallah khair, brother." The next thing you know, immediately, it helps you build this bond with him.

So the Prophet was approached by the companions all the time. They would come with gifts for him, and the companions would give gifts to each other also to build this love. And they didn't give like the little things. They didn't give like the little things. They gave the things that they love, because this is also part of iman: to give, to help the needy, and to help others. And you give the things that you love, that you want.

Spending From What You Love

That's why Allah says in Al-Quran Al-Kareem:

You shall never attain piety until you spend from that which you love.

And this is how the companions were. Abdullah ibn Umar, radiAllahu anhu, every time he would come across this ayah, he would think, what is it that he loves the most? And he would think, and these are like valuable things that he would have. Would be land, it might be something that he really wanted that he didn't have for a long time, then he got it. And he would think, he would come across—and he finished the Quran every three days—so he would give every time he would come across this ayah, every three days. He would think, what's the most valuable thing? What's the most beloved thing to me? He would give that thing to the poor or to whoever was more needy. This is preference.

Building Love and Working Together in the Community

We have to build this love amongst the Muslims, amongst ourselves. And then when we start up a community, when we start, we want projects like schools, like da'wah projects, social projects, and so forth. Then once you build this love, it's easier for us to work with each other. And once—otherwise, if you always have enmity, this person is this, this person is that, as soon as you start up a committee, a brother comes up, "Brother, you know what? I put three thousand dollars into this project with my own money. I'm not even part of the board. Alright, I'm not part of the board. What's wrong?"

So you have, sometimes it's these discussions. But if we have this love amongst ourselves and not this enmity and hatred and jealousy and so forth in the Muslim community, then it's much easier for us to work with. And it starts off with what? With just giving salams to somebody you don't even know.

Practical Application of Spreading Salam

If you give, for example, you walk by and you don't know this brother, "As-salamu alaykum, brother." You give salams. You don't give just a little, heartwarming salams. You don't just give a little salam. Just give heartwarming, "As-salamu alaykum, brother," as if you knew him for like the last twenty years. He'll be—what will happen to that brother? That brother will probably be surprised, right? "Wow, do I know this? He's probably thinking right, do I know this brother? Maybe I met him somewhere before, right?"

But then if you did that, the next time you see him at Walmart or wherever you're shopping, not, you know, or wherever you're like a supermarket and so forth, you would immediately, that brother, that connection that you made because of that salams, you see him in the streets or whatever, "Brother, as-salamu alaykum, brother." It's like you guys know each other for the last twenty years for real. Isn't that the case?

So that's why it starts with that, by just giving these, just little salams. I remember when I was in in Vietnam, I used to, I tried to revive giving him salams the way that it should be. You give salams when you leave, when you come in, when you leave. And so I would walk by a Muslim brother, "As-salamu alaykum, brother." Immediately he would stop. He would say, "Yes, do you need something?" I said, "No, I just want to give salams, brother."

I would go again, walk by another Muslim, "As-salamu alaykum, brother." "Yes, brother, do you need anything?" He would say, "Wa alaykum as-salam. Yes, brother, is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?" I said, "No, no, I just want to give salams. That's all."

Every time I would walk by the streets, somebody I give salams to somebody, they would stop and ask me, because first of all, you don't just give regular salams. Give a warm, warm salams. Give with any, from your heart. Do it for the sake of Allah. Put a smile on your face and give salams to the brothers and give salams to each other and shake their hands.

The Companions' Practice of Giving Salam

And this, this is what the companions did. When they went by something, if there, whether a tree or a pole or a wall or anything came between them, they would immediately give salams again. If somebody did this, you would probably think they're crazy, right? You know, and so we have to start practicing this even in our family members.

You know, for example, give me an example. You come by, you get into a car, your wife goes to the other side of the car, you come this side of the car. Why don't you sit down, give salams to her? The car separated you two, right? When you went in, apply this sunnah right there. Your mother, your father, whoever's on the other side, "Salamu alaikum, brother." Give salams to your brother or your sister or your wife and so forth. Put this into application, and you'll see it does wonders. And this is just the beginning.

Practical Advice on Gift-Giving

And then we have to start loving each other and giving each other, of course, gifts. And don't think that you have to spend like a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars, three hundred dollars. No, every time, be consistent. Every time you go to the store, next time you want to buy something, next time you go to the store, think of somebody. Think of somebody. I don't care who it is: your cousin, your brother, your sister, your mother, your aunt, your uncle, your grandfather, grandmother. Buy them something when you buy something for yourself. Buy something for them also.

Next time, think of your best friend. Buy something for them. Next time, it might be the imams. Next time, your father, your mother. Are they expecting anything? It's not Eid, right? It's not Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr. It's not their birthday or anything like that, right? Not that we should be celebrating birthdays or anything like that, but for no particular reason, just be consistent with it. And you will see that within your circle, your family, the love amongst yourselves will build. It will become stronger, even within your family. And that's where we start off. And then the community, of course.

The Responsibility of Zakat and Community Care

You start thinking of the other Muslim brothers who are in need. That's why when you give zakat, you have to look for the sunnah, to go yourself, to go and give yourself, so you can see the conditions of the Muslims. You don't want to send it here and there. You want to look at your community first, around the community. There are people who are needy.

Don't give me the, you know, this and that about, you know, people here don't need any, there are no needy people and so forth. No, it's your responsibility. When you give sadaqa, zakat, and so forth, go look at the people around your area.

InshaAllah, brothers, could you please move up a little bit? Because I think if you have any space, so the brothers in the back inshaAllah can have, so move up a little bit, inshaAllah.

The Prophet's Instructions to Muadh ibn Jabal

So, and that's why the messenger of Allah ﷺ, when he sent Muadh ibn Jabal, when he sent him to, when he sent him to Yemen, what did he tell them? He said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari 1395, Sahih Muslim 19)

You're coming to a people, you're coming to a people of the book, Christians and the Jews. And so let the first thing you call them to is La ilaha illa Allah. And then tell them that it's obligatory upon them to pray the five daily prayers. And then tell them to give the zakat: "Tu'khadu min agniya'ihim faturaddu ala fuqara'ihim." Taken, take that from their rich and return it to fuqara', their poor, the poor people amongst them.

Because if you keep on sending your zakat out here and there, outside to the other places, and you forget the people in your area, you know, of course we should always be thinking of Muslims no matter where they are. You can send your sadaqah anywhere, but specifically the zakat, take care of the area, the community, because that's the person who you see when you go to the masjid. These are the people in your community. Strengthen your community. Start from the inside out: your family, your community, and so forth. And start the change from within, and then go out further and further around, out the circle.

The Strongest Bond: Love for the Sake of Allah

And so as Muslims, we should have mercy upon all and build this love amongst us, because the love for the sake of Allah is the strongest love of all. The strongest bond of iman, not of iman, bond of iman is the bond which is the love for Allah's sake and disliking for the sake of Allah. And so we love

for the sake of Allah, and the love for the sake of Allah, there's nothing like it. Loving for the sake of Allah and giving for the sake of Allah and helping for the sake of Allah. This is the strongest thing.

Even with your family members, even with your wife, you should love her because you have this natural love. But that love for Allah should be the strongest. And that's what will keep your relationship stronger than anything else is when you love for the sake of Allah.

Why is this the case? Why is that love for the sake of Allah the strongest? Because you're not expecting anything back. You're only hoping from Allah. So when you are kind to your wife, your spouse, or your wife or your husband, and you're kind to them, you are kind to them and you're treating them nicely for the sake of Allah. And so if you don't receive that back, you're not even expecting it to start with, so you will continually be kind to them even if you don't get the same treatment from them.

But if you do get, you know, you get that kindness from them and you're not expecting it, then you appreciate it even more. Then you appreciate it even more. And so do things for the sake of Allah. Love your brothers and sisters, love your aunts and uncles, your family members and so forth. Love them for the sake of Allah. And this is what also keeps us strong, keeps the community strong.

The Society of Medina: Built on Tawheed and Love

And as Muslims, this is how the society in Medina, when they came together, it was built on La ilaha illallah. It was built upon loving for the sake of Allah, worshipping Allah alone, and everybody was connected with Allah. So the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Ibn Majah 3251, Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2485)

Spread the salam, feed the poor, and join relations.

Maintaining Family Ties

We should always try to enjoy relations, you know, all the time with our family members. That's why the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1979)

Learn your lineage, your relatives, so you can join this relationship.

Learn who your relatives are so you can join relations. Even if they're your second cousin, third cousin, these are acts that Allah loves, and that will strengthen the community and strengthen the family. And once that's strong, then your iman will go up, because it's easier to go to the masjid, because we have problems in the masjid.