Suffering and Divine Wisdom

Do you see how one person, by the way, and Josh Smith is supposed to be like, this all star basketball player, they got rid of one player, and they went from, losing like, every game, to winning like, nine games in a row, or something crazy. That's how, this is, this is the Sunnah of Allah, we affect one another. We cannot run away from that. We should embrace it, and instead, work on ourselves, to become strong gears, in this, in this sort of machinery. InshaAllah ta'ala.

Benefits of Suffering

So, what are some benefits, of suffering? Right. What are some benefits, of suffering? Now the difficulty is obviously, we can cover the difficulty first, if you guys want. The difficulties of suffering, is that, it tests people's Iman. There's a Hadith, of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alaihi wasallam), in the, book, the Arba'een of Shah Waliullah, Al-Dahlawi, Rahimahullah, where he says that, poverty can lead, to Kufr, basically.

Right. That someone being poor, in this life, is like a way, or a path, for them to disbelieve, in Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, and so we, that's why it's very important, for us to be active members, of our community, in terms of Zakat, in terms of Sadaqah, because, the Prophet is teaching us, in this Hadith, that your mundane reality, has an effect on your, spiritual reality.

Your reality in this life, when you guys get a good grade, are you more, encouraged to pray on time? Like if you guys just, aced an exam, your final exam, you got all 100s, and I said, hey let's go pray Dhuhr at the Masjid, would you be like, yeah let's do it, right? Let's give all our money away too, right? You'd be so happy, and the adverse side, when you get into a fight with somebody, are you in the mood to pray? Are you in the mood to make Dua?

If you are, that's good, but if you're not, that's very natural, because humanity, is a existence of conditions, and in that condition, when you just fought with somebody, when you just argued with somebody, you've been put through that test, that trial, you may not feel, super spiritual, super in the mood, right? But InshaAllah, the idea is to train yourself, to always feel that way, but that's you know, steps InshaAllah.

So the point is, that the Prophet is teaching us here, that trials can affect, your belief in Allah. Does that make sense everybody? Trials can absolutely affect, your belief in Allah. That's why it's important, to know the virtues of trials.

1. Expiation of Sins

So number one, is the expiation of sins. The most important one, is the clearing out of a person's sins. That when they go through a difficulty, and they bear it with patience, that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, uses that as an excuse, or a means, to clear out their sins.

An example that you and I, may have gone through before, have you guys ever gone to a restaurant, and had the order not come out, the way you wanted, or had to wait very long, or something, and if the manager is really good, what will they'll do? They'll give you the whole meal in the house, right?

That's an idea of how suffering, can be an expiation of your sins, and the virtue behind it. This happened to me recently actually, I went to a restaurant, and they, we ordered a dessert, and the dessert, they baked plastic into it. Imagine how good that tasted, right? They baked plastic, like this saran wrap, plasticky stuff, they put it, they accidentally left it on.

So we took a bite, and I was like, this tastes like garbage, right? So, we told the manager, and Alhamdulillah, he was like, okay, you know, I'm so sorry, you know, your meal, your check is taken care of, it's on the house, right? So my wife and I were like, dang dude, we should like, try to order more plastics next time, so we don't have to like, pay for dinner.

But the idea is, that bite was so disgusting to me, and it was so like, annoying, especially because I love that dessert. It was even more disappointing, because I was anticipating like, this really delicious dessert, but in the end of it all, when my wife and I were walking out of the restaurant, I was like, you know what, one bite, we got a free meal, Alhamdulillah, right? Expiation of sins.

So when you go through difficulties, your perspective needs to be shifted, and don't think that you can't control your perspective. Human beings, Alfred Adler, a very famous psychologist, he said something profound. He said, you do what you want to do.

A lot of times, we view ourselves as humans, as being under the control of our own desire, or out of the control of ourselves, like we are under the control of our desires. That's not true. You control your desires. Think about Ramadan. Think about the ability to stop eating, from dawn till sunset. Think about how much power that takes. How much self-discipline that takes. You control that.

And so, when you're going through a trial and tribulation, it is up to you, as to how you view it. Do you view it as, this is an expiation of my mistakes, or do you view it as, this is Allah punishing me, this is Allah, He's so unfair, wa la'idhubillah, this is this, this is this, right? Which is unfortunately, the way that Shaytan wants to take us.

2. Ease in the Next Life

Number two, is that it makes your path, in the next life, easy. InshaAllah. It makes our path, in the next life, very easy. The difficulty, in this life, acts as a sort of, you know, accelerator for someone's ease in the next life.

Which is why the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alaihi wasallam), one of the explanations of it, not all of it, one of them, is that the first people to enter Jannah, will be the people in this life who were the, oppressed or poorest, right? The people with the least amount of wealth, will be the first to enter into Paradise.

One of the explanations, there's one that says that, because they have the least to account for. Meaning that every penny we spend, we're gonna have to answer for that. Which we know to be true. But another explanation of the hadith is that what? That because they went through so much difficulty in this life, Allah will remove the difficulty from their path in the next life. Right?

And so, when you go through difficult times, it's almost as though, Allah is teaching us to embrace those difficulties, and to devalue this hayat al-dunya. Right? One of my teachers, he said something beautiful. He said, your Iman is directly related, to the amount that you view everything around us as dirt.

I said this last night at the auto show, the guys were like, shut up. Right? I was like, your Iman is directly related, to how convinced you are, that this stuff is just dust. Right? It's a different kind of dust or dirt. It's been chemically reinforced and all that kind of stuff. But at the end of the day, this doesn't mean anything.

Okay? It only means the amount that it brings you close to Allah. And so, when someone tends to view this hayat al-dunya, in a way where it's not that important to them, then all of a sudden now, the trials are less damaging, less painful, less hurtful. And this is why you see people, Subhanallah.

How many of you have been to Umar before? Anyone been to Umar or Hajj? What's the most like, for those of you who have not gone, we ask Allah to invite us all. I mean, for those of you who have gone, what was your most, what was your impression of like the cleaning crew? Have you guys seen the cleaning crew at the Haramain? Especially the Kaaba?

So what they do, they have to clean this floor. Okay? Because there's thousands of people literally walking on it. So one of the things they do that's pretty amazing, is they set up like this big group of people, and they have these squeegee mops, and then they'll have like this, this big thick band, this cloth band, that goes around an entire group of like 30 of them. They look like a big amoeba. That's just like cleaning the Kaaba floor.

And it's interesting because you talk to those people, and a lot of them have been through a lot of trial and tribulation. Have you guys ever talked to them before? Anybody? No? Talk to them. Next time you go to Umar, talk to the cleaning staff. Ask them about themselves. Say, tell me your story.

One of them, he told me that he came there from Bangladesh. Right? And he said that, he basically makes a hundred and something dollars a month. A hundred and like 50 US dollars a month. That's all he makes. On top of that, his family is still in Bangladesh, so he'll take a little bit of money for himself, but then he'll send the rest back to his family in Bangladesh. Okay?

Is that difficult? Anybody? Who wants that job? I can get it. I'm a recruiter. I can get you there. Anyone want it? Do you think your parents will be proud, inshallah, be happy? Right? Difficult, right? That's trial. Like if that's not trial, tribulation, test, then I don't know what is.

It was so difficult that even hearing it, I couldn't believe it. Like that's your life? What kind of phone do you have? He was like, what phone? Right? They don't even, like they have such different, but then subhanallah, he was smiling the whole time, and I asked him, why are you smiling? Like what's, what are you smiling about?

And he said, look at my job. He goes, I get to clean the haram. Like the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alaihi wasallam) prayed janazah on a woman who cleaned his masjid. What is Allah going to do for the

person who cleans his house? That was his perspective. Right?

And again, I'm not saying that every single person, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was a businessman. Abu Hanifa Rahimallah was a businessman. Imam Malik was very wealthy. Uthman bin Affan, but then you also had Abu Huraira.

These people, they didn't invest, even though they had wealth, they weren't so invested into this life. Our response to trials and tribulations will be directly related to how much we love this world. You meet people, Subhanallah, they're like, you know what, whatever Allah gives me, Alhamdulillah.

You meet people that if they get a Lexus instead of a Mercedes, they get upset with Allah. There was the one video that went viral on YouTube with a girl who got a car that she wanted for her birthday, but it was in the wrong color. You guys see that? It was red or something. And she was, she was like, and the parents were like, happy birthday. And she's like, how could you do this to me? And she ran back inside. Like hashtag first world problems.

The reality is we all have hashtag first world problems. We just have to realize like they're actually more like hashtag dunya problems. And we have to get over that because our trials and tests will not be as damaging then to us.

3. Appreciation Through Contrast

The next is this philosophical principle that you only appreciate the light when you've been in the dark. You only appreciate ease when you've been in pain. You only appreciate food when you've been hungry. You only appreciate warmth when you've been cold. Right, Michigan? Can I get an amen? You only appreciate like the sunshine when it's been cloudy.

All these, you appreciate the existence of a thing by the existence of its opposite. And if you want to know what this means, think about why you love something and why you don't like something else. And oftentimes you will think of the contrast between that thing and the absence of that thing, right?

So you're like, I love this restaurant. Oftentimes we think in relatives. We're like this restaurant is better than this restaurant. Why? Because it has this, this, this, this. If you didn't even know that those could exist, then you wouldn't have been appreciative of it as much, right? SubhanAllah.

So when Allah gives you a trial, part of the wisdom in that the scholars have written is that you begin to appreciate the absence of trial. That he redirects you. That you worship Allah as much in times of good as you do in bad.

Because it's easy to worship Allah in times of bad. Is it not? When something bad happens, what do you do? Pray. Not just pray. You pray on time. You make wudu. You pray sunnah. You make du'a. You make wudu that night. You go like eight raka'ah for qiyam al-layl. You wake up for fajr. You drive your neighbors to the masjid. They're not even Muslim. They're like, what are you doing? I want to sleep. Right?

When you're going through tough times, man, you turn into like super-duper Muslim. But at the minute that things start going well, what happens? Start to delay a little bit. I prayed asr yesterday. Can I get a two-for-one deal? Right? Like, that's what happens. Comfort makes us apathetic.

It does. It's a reality. And this is part of the reason why, like, you know, in Michigan, for example, you guys obviously are very intimate with this story. The idea that they were going to shut off water for how many people? 312,000 people were going to get their water shut off. Can you imagine that? This isn't like Egypt or Pakistan. Right? This isn't like, oh, it'll be on in three hours.

No, this is like, they're going to get it shut off. But the problem is that people who live in the suburbs don't care because they're comfortable. Right? When we have comfort, we begin to get apathetic.

So, occasionally in our life, we will be introduced to the hills of difficulty so that the valleys of ease become much sweeter. Right? And that we don't lose focus of our relationship with Allah when we're in the valley of ease. Ask yourself, do I worship Allah with the same intensity, the same intention, and the same passion and love when things are going well? Or do I only do that when things are going bad? Right?

And you find that Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alaihi wasallam), this is one of his beautiful characteristics, was that he was solid all the time. Even though difficulty bombarded him left and right. When he was in Mecca and Medina, you find the worship was the same quality. Right? SubhanAllah.

So, we ask Allah to give us that. So, you get to see suffering as a sign of joy. Suffering enhances your joy. Right? We talked about prayer and draah, and we talked about triumph, khalas. Okay.

The Wisdom of Fasting as Analogy

So, the idea is now, I don't want to make this too long, but the idea is that yes, suffering exists. Yes, it is seen as a trial, but we are number one limited beings. So, we cannot give the end-all, be-all reason as to why suffering exists. We can do that with fasting.

You know why Allah says we fast? Why do we fast? What's the reason why we fast? To gain taqwa. Allah said (لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ - "So that you may become righteous.") [Quran 2:183] Very clearly, that you fast, so that you can get taqwa. Are there a lot of other reasons why we fast? What is one of the reasons why we fast? Removing comfort, like we just said.

Because when we are full of food, we are apathetic to those who don't have food. But when you are hungry, you think to yourself, how does it like to do this without a choice? Right? Or what is it like to be like this 365 instead of 30 or 29? Or in some cities, 28 or 31 for some reason. What is it like? That's a little moonsighted joke.

So, the idea is, the idea is, like yeah, that's a wisdom. But is that the reason? No. Because Allah said, (لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ) But it's a wisdom. In suffering, we know the wisdoms, but we don't know the exact reason why. And that takes humility. So that's point number one.

Summary of Key Points

Number two is that, suffering is often times brought on by our own misdeeds. Right? And Allah s.w.t. says this in the Quran multiple times. He also says that He won't change your condition of a people until they change it themselves. So again, giving you autonomy.

And the third thing is that there are actually benefits to being through trial and tribulation that we experience. Does that make sense? If they're not achieved in this life, then that's why I did the Akhira, benefits first. Because this life does not mean anything. 80 years, what's anything over infinity? Zero. Very good.

So 80 years, 90 years, 100 years, doesn't matter how long you live, dude. This dunya over infinity is zero. Dunya over Akhira is zero. Doesn't matter how long the dunya is. Assign whatever variable you want. Still gonna be? Zero. Thank you, Math Matrix. MashaAllah. Okay.

Q&A Session - Practical Applications

So now, what I wanna do, inshaAllah, is open it up to questions and answers for the rest of the time. We have about 35, 40 minutes, inshaAllah, for Q&A. And I know a lot of you had questions. There's some that you asked already that I'm gonna address, inshaAllah.

So, we'll take one and then I'll have a question that I have that I've been asked that I wanna talk about, inshaAllah. Yes? To wish death? Gotcha.

On Voluntary Discomfort vs. Wishing for Trials

Okay. So the first is that like, if comfort can make us apathetic, okay, but also remember that trials without ease can also make someone lose their iman, right? So it's, you know, the hills and valley metaphor is purposeful. That when you drive to places that, like there's uphills and downhills, okay, there's inclines and declines, and you wanna make sure you don't do too much of either, okay?

But the idea is that, and some scholars have written about this, like Imam Zard Nuji al-Hanafi in his book, Ta'alim al-Muta'alim, he said that part of the practice that you should have is to purposely, voluntarily fast because you're putting yourself in a bit of discomfort, okay? So, the advice that I give to my students is like, don't strive for 100% comfort all the time because that is an unhealthy way of living, right? You need to be, put yourself in a little bit of discomfort.

Um, exercise is a great metaphor to use. That somebody, when they exercise, it's difficult, like you have to get up, get ready, go to the gym, then actually do the exercise itself, come back, you know, you might be sore, might have to take a shower, then get, like that whole process is difficult and you voluntarily kind of submit yourself to that, right? Because the benefit overall is better for you.

So, voluntarily fasting, although it might be like, well, I have food in my fridge, it's delicious, it's from Allah, voluntarily fasting is a difficulty that you sort of put yourself into just so you're not like 100% comfortable all the time, right?

The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), he never ever like accepted like the kingdoms and the riches that were offered to him. He stayed in this mode of modesty, of balance, right? He used to sleep on a straw mat, right? When the kings, and Omar one time, he saw this, Abu Bakr one time, he saw it and they cried and they said, Ya Rasulullah, like the kings are sleeping on like cushions and mattresses and stuff with feathers and whatever and you're sleeping on this because there was markings on his side from the straw mat.

You know when you like you sit on the carpet for too long and you get up and there's like all the carpet marks and the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) essentially responded saying, they have it in this life, we have it in the next, right?

So the idea is like the dunya, this life, is not meant to achieve the ultimate comfort, the pinnacle of, of, you know, relaxation as much as we think it is, right? And that's why no matter what your goals are, aspirations in a career, in a career way, or career sense, don't ever aspire just to be one of that 1,000% comfortable. Be okay with difficulty. Be okay with a little bit of stress, okay? It's okay. It'll motivate you to keep working and keep doing better inshallah.

The second is, should you, should someone wish on themselves that they have difficulty? No. You should wish that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la always keeps you connected to Him in whatever way He needs to, but always ask Allah to make it easy. Say, oh Allah, make it easy, right? Don't make it too difficult on me, make it easy on me, right?

But never ever, always pray that Allah keep you in His proximity, right? Because when, when a person is distant from Allah, it's not because Allah moved, it's because the person moved, right? So you pray to Allah to put you back in His proximity, to allow you to come closer to Him, right? And not make it too difficult on you, Okay? Good question.

On Forgiveness - The Story of Wahshi

So there was a question that someone brought up, which is sort of related to this, but also related to the previous topic a little bit, and that is, how to forgive somebody or what to, what to do when someone has wronged you or someone close to you and how to forgive somebody and what that feels like, what that looks like, Islamically, and also in a, in a sort of mental health kind of way.

So there, in Islam we are taught that there are certain sins where a person actually has to go to another person and seek forgiveness before Allah will complete that forgiveness for them. So for example, backbiting is one of those sins. If someone has backbitten against somebody else, then part of the process of Tawbah is that the person actually has to be given forgiveness from the person they have oppressed before Allah will put the seal of approval and the stamp of approval on that Tawbah.

Okay? Now, this is important because this is where it's going to come into now us, like how do we forgive people and can we forgive them and does forgiving mean forgetting? How many of you think forgiving means forgetting? Like when you forgive someone you're supposed to completely forget. Right?

This actually, Subhanallah, is actually not found in the Seerah. We actually find the opposite. That the Prophet was able to forgive but sometimes wouldn't forget. The story of Wahshi is actually a very famous story. Where Wahshi was this person who was sent by Hind to kill Hamza, the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) who they say had the most likeness in physical features to the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He looked the most like him.

And so Wahshi one time, it was in the Battle of Uhud. Afterwards, so he killed Hamza Radhe Allahu Anhu and afterwards he converted to Islam. So when you convert to Islam, what happens to all of your sins? They disappear. You're forgiven. Okay? So we know that Wahshi doesn't have like this sin hanging over his head. Like you killed the Prophet's uncle, you killed the Sahabi, you know, what are you thinking?

But when he meets with the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), the Prophet actually weeps and cries. And he actually asks Wahshi, he says, I need closure. You guys know what closure is in a mental health perspective? Sometimes you just need closure from a situation. Right?

So he goes, I need closure essentially. Tell me the story of how you killed my uncle. Right? So Wahshi tells the entire story. He says, I was hired by this person, I did this, I snuck around the back of the battlefield, I had my spear, I speared him and then he disfigured his body unfortunately. But then he converts to Islam. The Prophet's crying the whole time. Can you imagine that? Right?

The Prophet tells him, you've been forgiven, you're my brother, but when we talk to one another, don't stand like directly in front of me. Like stand a little bit off to the side. So instead of standing like right here in front of me to where we're face to face, just kind of stand a little bit off to the side. Because he said, when I see you, I see my uncle and it brings pain to me. But when you stand a little bit off to the side, then it's not as in my face. It's not as in my face, literally, you know?

And so, now, what are we saying? Are we saying the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) wasn't forgiving? No, of course he was. He forgave him. But this also shows us the human condition of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and he teaches us that the heart can sometimes hold on to things for a while. Right?

Wahshi, actually, SubhanAllah, he was so motivated after this experience that when the false Prophet Musaylim al-Kaddhab, when he came about after the death of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) Wahshi took that same spear that he killed Hamza with, radiyallahu anhu, and he killed Musaylimah. And when he did that, they asked him why. He said, if I killed the person that was closest to the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) the least I could do is kill the person that was, you know, trying to imitate or debase the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in a battle.

Now, obviously, for the CIA that's listening, we're not teaching this, right? We're just saying that this is a historical story and this is sort of like the himmah that he had for the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم).

So the point is that it's very natural to not fully forget something when you forgive somebody. Very natural. And sometimes they say that what only heals wounds? Time, right? You need some time. You

need some, you need some, sort of, some time to get over it, right? And so Allah (جل جلاله) He created us as human beings to where we sometimes hold on to these things, let time go.

One of the ways that I do this with myself, just to share some, some, you know, some pointers with you, is the whole idea of the Asad of Amr where he said, give somebody 70 excuses for why they do something. When you can give somebody 70 excuses for why they've done something, it becomes very easy to forgive them. Very easy.

Right? And when I mean 70 excuses, I mean start counting. 70. Like, say 1. Okay, maybe they did because of this. 2. Maybe they did because of this. By the time you get to 4, you're going to be like, okay, I'm done. I don't care anymore. Right? You're like, just kidding. I'm done. I don't care.

I'm not hurt by it anymore. Right? The story for you, I, there's a, a sister that is on my Facebook network. She's a Facebook friend of mine. And she always used to debate. Always. Like, I could be like, oh, today's a good day. She's like, no, it's not. Where's your proof? Show me. Right? I'm like, I'm just, what is this to do? That meal was good. I don't think so. Right? I think that's a, that's an erroneous claim. Right? I was like, why are you debating all the time? Right?

And so I found out she's a lawyer. Okay? Which explains a lot. Then, I found out that one of her relatives was wrongfully imprisoned. You know, back in their country or whatever, was wrongfully imprisoned. And she became a civil rights lawyer to try to, you know, and a humanitarian, you know, activist. Because that inspired her, that motivated her. And she's always, like, basically focused on trying to get this relative of hers out of jail.

Right? And so I slowly, like, realized, like, subhanAllah, maybe she's like, has this debate habit because that's like her passion. Because she's being driven by the fact that her relative was unjustly put in prison. And she's trying to get him out. You know?

When I made that excuse, and it might not be true. It might be totally false. She might just be a debater. Right? But that, when I made up that excuse, it became very easy for me to not worry about it anymore. Whenever she started debating, I said, you know what, subhanAllah, look at her, her relationship with her family that she's so motivated that, like, she debates everybody. Right? As though we're all the prosecution. Right?

So, you know, but I, but I, it became very easy for me. So, try to come, and it's not a very far-fetched reason, excuse. Make excuses for people. Right? When they've committed wrongs against you. And also, give yourself some time. Don't force yourself to forgive right away.

Sometimes you need time to sort of process what happened. To think about it. If you need to speak to a therapist about it, absolutely. If you need to speak to a friend about it, absolutely. If you need to speak to the person about it, sure. Sometimes you won't get closure until you tell the person that they've hurt you.

And subhanAllah, when you've told the person that, you'll find yourself, subhanAllah, done with it after that. But when you keep holding on, you don't have closure, you don't know what they feel, you don't

know how they felt, you don't know their side of the story, and subhanAllah, you might just hold on to that forever. And grudges are something that can actually withhold you from paradise.

The Story of Abdullah bin Amr and the Man from Jannah

You know, we know the story, the famous story of Abdullah bin Amr bin As, radiAllahu anhuma, where he spent time with somebody. Allah said that this, or the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, that this person is rajulun min ahlul jannah, that he's a man from the people of jannah. So Abdullah became very, you know, Abdullah bin Amr, I'm sorry, he became very curious.

So he said, let me go spend some time with him. So he went to him and he said, can I spend a few days with you? The guy said, sure. Right? Because when they noticed him, they're like, you don't look any different than us, you just look normal. Right?

So he goes and spends time with him and he's narrating the time. He said, I spent time with him, he didn't really do anything special. You know, we ate at the same time, we prayed at the same time. He actually said, he didn't even do the extra things that we normally did. He didn't fast extra, he didn't pray extra in the night. He was just a typical Muslim. Like, what's so special?

So he became frustrated. By the third day, he told him, he said, okay, I'm going to leave now. The guy's like, okay, so long. Right? So he's like, he's like super nice. And Abdullah's like, oh man, why are you so like, why are you so special? The guy's like, so he tells him, Abdullah says, you know the Prophet said about you something really interesting. He said what? He said, the Prophet said that you're a guaranteed paradise, you're from the people of Jannah.

And the guy answers with such a frustrating answer, he said, I don't know why he would say that. Right? So Abdullah became even more frustrated. He's like, okay fine, I'm just going to go. It's pointless, it's hopeless. As he's leaving the door, the man says, ah, there might be one thing. Abdullah turns around, he says, every night before I go to sleep, I make dua to Allah, and I say, oh Allah, I've forgiven anyone that's wronged me today. Please remove grudge from my heart.

If that dua every night was enough to gain him Jannah, then imagine what withholding someone a grudge against them can do for our Akhira. It's very dangerous. So encourage yourself to forgive. Become a forgiving person and don't hold on to things. And like I just said, you can train yourself to be forgiving. You can train yourself to let go of things. You can train yourself, inshallah. Good question.

On New Converts and Family Relations

Anyone else have any other questions? About anything? It doesn't have to be about suffering or anything. Anyone have any questions about marriage? Come on. I want all the hands up. Do you have a question? Are you sure? Oh. Yes.

As I said earlier, I'm a convert and I recently told my family that I converted to Islam. So I was wondering what are some tips of like, you know, my mom is very, she doesn't want to hear it. Like, she doesn't like

Islam and everything. So what are some ways that I can help her express Islam but not like verbally talk to her?

This answer is actually relevant. This question and the answer are relevant for everybody. Because even though brother Jeff is a Muslim who converted to Islam and some of us may be Muslims who were born into Islam, we all are going to have to at some point have a conversation with our parents about, you know, our religious practice, our faith and perhaps they'll be happy with it, inshallah. Perhaps they won't be.

Right? And so this answer is very relevant because you're all gonna need at some point a method in order to convince your parents about what you're doing. Right? Whether it's who you want to get married to or where you want to go to school or what kind of car you want to buy, just whatever. Right?

There's certain ways that are much more potent in convincing people than other ways. So for Jeff, the answer that I would give is that I know, inshallah, you're probably like an amazing son already. I can tell just by your character, your manners, inshallah, and your cool Neff hat. But the other thing... Your Neff hat. Yeah.

The other thing I would say is that you want to show them what Islam is not tell them. Allah says

"Why do you say that which you don't do?" Allah asks a very powerful question in the Quran. He says, why do you say that which you don't do? And so the emphasis here or the value on action is equal to if not higher than statements.

And you find that the Prophet Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وسلم) in his dawah, in his teaching of Islam, especially in the early days, was very focused on experiential dawah. Giving people the experience of what Muslims are like, not telling them what Muslims are like.

You know, because right now, I'll be honest with you, what Allah teaches us in the Quran and the Prophet teaches us in his Sunnah, peace be upon him, is very different than how Muslims act. Right? So it's very difficult to make linguistic or literature based claims without backing them up. So, become an amazing son.

If you take the garbage out with your mom asking you once, take it out without her asking you. If you know, if your parents want you to you know, clean your room and they ask you every weekend, do it without them asking. If your parents want this, just basically, the key to parental success is to do things they want before they say it to you.

If you can master that, if you can sort of write down on a notepad what your parents' expectations are, and I know some of you are like, it changes every day. Yeah, we've all been there, I know. Right? But when you can write down your parental expectations and take care of it before they've prompted you to, because once your parents have prompted you to do a chore, it's like driving that new car off the lot for the first time. The value of that chore goes down like 50%.

So once your parents have said like, can you do this? You've lost 50% of that reward. Are there any parents in here? Anyone? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, right? Anybody? Okay, so if you're a parent, you know, if your kids do it before you ask, subhanAllah, you're like, smitten with them for the rest of the day.

So become like super Jeff, okay? Like I want you to become like super Muslim child Jeff who converted to Islam. That way, and especially given the fact that you converted in such a recent period, that way, any good you do, they're going to have to attribute it to your conversion.

Like any logical person would be like, my son, I used to have to wake him up and tell him to wake up. Now he's already awake. I used to have to tell him to do this, now he already does it. What's different about Jeff? Oh, he's super Muslim converted Jeff, okay? Like, and that's the best way to tell them.

So then they're going to start prompting you with questions like, what is this? What are you doing? Like, what is this faith, right? And then you tell them, well, my faith teaches me to be good to my parents. My faith teaches me in a Hadith, even though it's a little bit weak, my faith teaches me in a Hadith that paradise is under your feet, mom. My faith teaches me this, you know what I'm saying? Then the conversations start.

But until you have the actions as an impetus for conversation, it's very difficult to get them to focus on that, right? You're welcome. You guys all agree with me? Oh, thank you. Okay, so, yeah.

Name is Jeff, right? Oh my God, I've been calling you Jeff this whole time. No, I'm not. Oh my God, Jeff. I mean, Joe, correct me next time. I feel horrible now. I think I just saw that commercial for 22 Jump Street 20 times. No, Joseph, Subhanallah. Man, you embarrass me in front of everybody, Jeff. I'm kidding.

No one call him Jeff ever in his life. Otherwise, I get that bad deed. Okay, Joe, sorry, Joe. You're super Muslim, Joe. Okay. Or Yusuf. Okay, however you want. Subhanallah. Any other questions? That was a very good question, actually. Yes?

On Forgiveness and Setting Boundaries

You talked about not holding grudges and stuff. I was going to start about the problem when you asked the man to stand to the side. How do you forgive someone and not hold a grudge, but understand your limits? I don't know. In my mind, it's kind of a thin line. Know your limits with that person, but also not judge them for what they do.

Yeah, so I mean, a good example might be if somebody has a habit of doing something that affects you. Let's say somebody borrowed your car and they like wrecked it or did something against it. Okay, like they hurt it in some way. You can forgive them for that, but then still ask them not to drive your car again. That make sense?

Yes, and that's the toughest part is because the Qalb, right? Qalb, Qalba in the Arabic language actually means to flip. And so like, that's why we say, like, oh, turner of the hearts, right? So the heart is very difficult. It's kind of slippery, but you can train it, right? You can train it through reading the seerah and

studying the son of the prophet under the Prophet, studying how he handled these things, reading Quran, getting the recommendation from Allah.

Once you are able to do those things, you will forgive somebody, but you don't necessarily have to forget necessarily, right? You know what I'm saying? If you can forget, that's even better, right? If you can say, you know what, it's as if it never happened, no worries, that's fine, right?

But at the same time, the idea of forgiveness does not necessitate that you have to basically act as though it never happened, okay? So a good sign to see if you've forgiven somebody is do you get upset with them when they're in your presence? You know what I'm saying? So if somebody's in your presence and you feel this pinch in your heart, you may have not fully forgiven them yet. Make sense? Okay. No problem. Thanks. Yeah?

On Forgiving Systems and Larger Injustices

Kind of related to Yasmeen's question, what if it's not a person that you need to forgive? What if it's like a larger system, like with everything going on in the world today, how do you handle that?

Interesting. So how do you forgive like, like, uh, what were you saying? Like capitalism? Yeah, well, yeah, my family's Syrian, so like, dealing with that must be big. Oh, okay, okay. Bashar Assad, okay. Uh, I mean, I'd, so, forgiveness in the sense of like, this is a good question, like, if Bashar Assad came in this room and made Shahada, yeah, that would be an interesting occurrence, right? It'd be tough.

And now you can see why the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was told to actually stand to the side, right? Now you can see why, because he's like, I, you're Muslim, that's fine, but stand over there, right? Because I, it's, it's tough.

So, forgiveness essentially, what forgiveness means is that on the Day of Judgment, you will not beckon to Allah to, uh, you know, you will not expect their deeds or, uh, want them to have bad deeds on the Day of Judgment. Forgiveness means you, you've removed their accountability to you. You're like, okay, I'm not, like when you forgive somebody, it's a serious thing actually, because you're kind of holding them hostage for the Day of Judgment, not hostage CIA, not like that, I'm sorry.

What I mean is, they are, they have to answer to you on the Day of Judgment. Like when someone is backed by somebody else, they have to show up to you on the Day of Judgment and say sorry, okay? So when you forgive somebody, you're essentially removing that responsibility from them.

That doesn't mean that you have to agree with their behaviors or their existence or their, what that means is that you've forgiven them. With things like systems, yeah, subhanAllah. With things like, you know, oppressive systems, you know, I could very much see, and this is, this is, this is gonna be tough for people to understand, I think, but just hear me out.

This is where you have to hate the sin and not the sinner, right? It's tough. But you think of, like, a person like Bashar Assad, he's still a human being, maybe not by much, still is, right? And we hate his oppression,

we hate his murder, we hate his this, we hate his that, we hate his that, but he still has the ability to make tawbah.

Will Allah accept it? See, this is where, this is where dunyawi and akhiri have different ramifications. So, when someone makes shahada, we treat them like a Muslim. They don't have to prove it to us, you know what I'm saying? But only Allah knows if they're truly Muslim. You see what I'm saying?

So if somebody asks for forgiveness from us, it's our duty to forgive them. Allah, it's up to the rest of Allah, right? It's so difficult to even say these words, like, it's, you know, you understand, like, the difficulty, but I'm just giving you a purely textual answer. I'm removing all humanity from it. Because the minute you add some humanity to it, it's, like, nearly impossible to even think of forgiving somebody like him.

But that's why the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was so great. Think of Khalid bin Walid, who killed sahaba. Like, he didn't just kill Muslims, he killed sahaba in Uhud, people who took place in the battle of Badr. Khalid bin Walid was responsible for that. And he ended up becoming one of the closest companions to the Prophet. (صلى الله عليه وسلم)

It's tough. It makes you appreciate the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) a lot when you learn about, like, that ability. Because even thinking about forgiving someone like Bashar Assad, to me, is like, it's very difficult for me to even think about that. Let alone actually even contemplate doing it. SubhanAllah.

Allahumma salli wa salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad. Okay, next question. That was a very good question. Yeah. Oh, we have more questions? Okay. Go ahead.

On Discerning Between Tests of Love vs Punishment

We're all, I'm sure, familiar with the concept of Allah to know how to serve and love someone. But then earlier, we also went over the concept of Allah to know how to serve and love someone. Is there a system or way that scholars go about that?

There's two that I've heard from my teacher. Number one is, so you guys hear the question? The question is, if our own actions can bring difficulty to us, but we also know that Allah tests those whom we love, He loves, then how do we discern, how do we distinguish those two?

And I think it's similar to the other brother's question earlier, is that there's two ways that my teachers taught me. Number one is that you look at, like I said to him, your pattern of behavior in the previous, right? If you find that you are slipping, you're trending downwards in your Iman, then you can use this as a wake-up call and say, perhaps Allah is responding to my evil with tests to wake me up.

The second, that my teacher told me, and I actually love this, because again, it's very humanist, is you know the famous Hadith, Allah says, I am as my servant sees me. So it depends on how you view those tests. If you view those tests as Allah is testing you because He loves you, right? Then that's the case, that's the scenario, right? Because that's the Hadith, Hadith Qudsi, right?

But if you view those tests as Allah is always on your back, always punishing you, then that's what the reality will be, that you'll be getting that. So a lot of it is transactional, like you as a servant of Allah have the responsibility to view Allah in the positive light and that will then make your perspective positive.

See what I'm saying? The Hadith is very, it's tough for us to grasp because again, it gives us a lot in the relationship with Allah. But at the same time, He's giving us that amount. That's what He's telling us, that I am as my servant, He sees me. SubhanAllah. So does that help? Okay. Okay.

On Children and Innocent Suffering

I've been asked in the past, relative to suffering, what about people who haven't committed any wrongs, like children born with terminal illnesses?

Yeah, this is actually a very good question. And this is where two things come in. Do you guys understand the question? Like what happens when somebody is killed and it's not due to their any sins or anything, like a child who was born and they might be born with some sort of a previous addiction or a condition for whatever reason, or let's say they're born and they pass away very shortly afterwards, right?

So the idea is this is where we have to understand two things. Number one, the first thing that I talked about was that good and bad are relative. They're loaded terms. My iPhone screen cracking as much of a frivolous example as that is, it's a good example to use.

As much as I thought that was a bad scenario, 24 hours later, it turned out to be better than before my screen cracked. So good and bad are relative. It can change based on your perspective, okay?

So, for example, this question is asked in philosophy classes and it's very difficult to ask this question because you have to kind of remove the humanity again, but if a child dies in a war, if a child dies from like an infantile illness in a war-torn area, would you rather have them die from that disease or from the war, like a bullet, right? And the idea is it's not, I'm not making you choose the ethical dilemma, but the idea that good is relative because people will have different opinions on that.

The second is that, and this goes back to the other point I made about dunya value, right? The DV, the dunya value that you have, your DBQ, dunya value quotient, your dunya value will then make that easier to understand in the sense that Allah says

"All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful." Okay?

He mentions the Basmala, so this surah so far is overwhelming with mercy, right?

"In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful."

And then you have

"Master of the Day of Judgment"

So you have tons of mercy and then you have مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدّين The Quraysh actually used to ask the Prophet when they heard the first three verses, they would say, Your Lord is so merciful, why do people die like this? Why do people suffer? They would actually ask that question.

He says مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ That the actual real, you know, sort of assessment, the real existence is the next life. That's why I like Sheikh Abdul Kareem Yahya here in Michigan, you guys have him, mashallah.

He says things like, he calls this life the fake life. In his khutbah, I heard that once. He was like, Yeah, in the real life, and I was like, What does he mean in the real life? And he was like, But in this fake life, and I was like, What does he mean? And I asked him, and he's like, Yeah, this is just fake.

And I was like, Subhanallah. That's very powerful, right? So the idea is, when people who have, you know, suffered or died, we, you know, that is obviously a way of recognition that this life is not as valuable as we had anticipated. And really, it's all relative, to be quite honest with you.

If you look at it from a relative scale, you'll see it's all relative. Wallahu ta'ala ala.

On Responding to Arguments About Unfair Treatment

How do you respond to people who agree or argue that others who are born with disabilities or in poverty are being unfairly treated by God? Yeah, I mean, it's all relative.

Like, there are people with disabilities who are millionaires, there are people with fully abled bodies who are very poor. So the idea is like, everyone has struggles, literally every single person has struggles that are unique to them. And for some people who are born with millions of dollars, but they suffer from crippling depression or anxiety, they're not able to benefit from those millions of dollars.

I have a client actually who's literally a multimillionaire, and he has crippling depression and anxiety. Like, I actually have a counseling client that I see in my clinic once a week, or in the clinic that I work with. And he is a multimillionaire and literally people come to me and they say this phrase, you ready? Why is he depressed? He has so much money.

And I'm like, subhanallah, like the Muslims are so far removed from mental illness. Why is he depressed? He has so much money. Right? And I say, well, you know, that's just his test.

Meanwhile, I've met people who are extremely impoverished, like the janitor at the haram, extremely poor, doesn't seem to have much anxiety or depression. Right? At least from my initial conversation with him. So these things are relative.

Again, you can create scenarios, but remember that Allah's Ismatul Sifat, they exist in context. Remember that. Inshallah. Okay? We can create the scenario for the most difficult existence on earth and then ask Allah why he's not merciful. But that existence, it doesn't, it's hypothetical.

On Consuming Haram Beyond Interest

Other than interest, what did you mean by consuming haram? Oh, this is good. Consuming haram, you consume with your eyes, do you not? You do actually. Right? So looking at things that are haram, you consume with your ears, do you not? So Nicki Minaj might not be the best to listen to. You consume with, you know, what you take in, your thoughts.

Like intellectually, what do you accept and what do you reject? So it might be good to make sure that you're intellectually grounded in your faith before you start to read about challenges or atheist things and stuff like that. Right? So consumption, in general, is an overall process of taking something from the outside and putting it inside. Not just your stomach.

Right? Not just your wallet, but also your heart, your eyes, your ears. Okay? We believe that Islam, the word qulu, doesn't mean to eat, but it means to consume. So be careful consuming interest.

Also, people who clock, people who don't clock out for lunch. You guys all know those people, right? Or people who leave work early when they're supposed to stay till this time and they're on salary. That's, that's subhanallah. Who knows if their money is halal?

You know, Imam Ghazali, by the way, do you guys have meat, Zabiha meat fights here in Detroit? You do, right? Zabiha meat fights, anybody? Zabiha meat battles? ZNBs? No? So we, we have those in Chicago, right? Where I grew up, where it's like, people would literally come to my house and be like, where's your meat from? And I'm like, get out. Right?

So because you shouldn't ask another Muslim where their meat is from. You should just, unless you have like overwhelming evidence or that they don't. Right? Like it's coming out of like a Miller Lite box. It's like, okay, where's your meat from? Where'd you marinate that in? Oh, nothing. Right?

So, that's like, if you see them, and even then, subhanallah, like you should just give husna dhan. But if you have like overwhelming evidence, right? Like they have like a pig farm in their backyard and you're like, are these pork chops or chicken? So that's kind of like, you know.

But, Imam Ghazali, when he wrote about haram meat, you know what he was talking about? He wasn't talking about Zabiha or non-Zabiha. He was talking about if someone bought the meat with haram money. Like, what do we put our emphasis on? Some of the people that I know who are the biggest Zabiha warriors, that's not a term, CIA, Zabiha, just as a slaughter method, right?

Some of the people I know who are the biggest Zabiha warriors, listen, you guys are laughing. I don't want you in here. Okay, so, some of the biggest Zabiha warriors I've ever met don't report accurately on their taxes. I don't know. SubhanAllah, you know. You've got to make sure that all we consume is halal, not just our food.

On Forgiveness as Perceived Weakness

What if forgiveness is viewed as an act of weakness? I would like to keep forgiving people who wrong me, but if I keep doing this, I'm not going to get their respect and they do not change. That's a very good, that's a very good question. And this goes back to the point that I was making with the sister up here, Mashallah, was that when you forgive somebody, remember the focus of the forgiveness, the Allah, like the purpose of it, is to forgive on the day of judgment.

Doesn't mean you have to forget. Okay, like the Prophet, (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), he forgave, but he made an adaptive behavior for Wahshi. Right? So as to let him know that it hurt me that you killed my

uncle.

Okay? So if someone is hurting you repeatedly, you can forgive in your heart and say, I'm not going to hold this against you on the day of judgment, but you're still allowed to not talk to them for a while. Absolutely. You're still allowed to not hang out with them when they call you.

That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them because you've forgiven them on the day of judgment, but you've just told them, I don't enjoy your company when you treat me like this. I've forgiven you, but I don't enjoy your company. Subhanallah.

Like that's actually even more powerful than not forgiving them and being angry with them. When you have the ability to forgive somebody and still adapt your behavior or change your behavior to let them know, that's a very powerful reminder. And to them, it's showing them that you're not holding it against them.

It's just how they make you feel. Right? Remember, forgiving somebody is all about the akhirah. It's not about right now. If you can do it for both, alhamdulillah, the more important one is not, you don't want them to come to you on the day of judgment begging you for forgiveness. Right? You want to get rid of that before now. And by doing so, oh, so what's the reward for giving people? Sorry.

The Story of Hadith ul-Ifk - The Ultimate Reward for Forgiveness

Whoa! Crazy. Totally should have brought this up. Because everyone's like, why do I forgive them? Why can't I just hold a grudge? What's the reward for forgiving somebody? You guys know the story of Hadith ul-Ifk? You've never heard this before?

So Aisha radiallahu anha, the wife of the Prophet, (صلى الله عليه وسلم - salallahu alayhi wa sallam), at the time, there was a rumor about her that she was not faithful to the Prophet, wa laa idha billah. Like a really disgusting rumor about her. Okay? And this rumor was started by Abdullah bin Ubayy, who was the leader of the hypocrites in Medina.

Basically, what happened was, they were on a journey, and Aisha, she goes to use the bathroom, and she actually said that this was before, that this is earlier in my marriage, so I wasn't like heavier or anything, I was very light still. And they used to carry her on a camel in one of those giant like tents. So she went to go, you know, use the restroom, and they left without her. Because she was so light, they didn't notice she wasn't on the camel.

So they went without her, and basically, they left, but the Prophet, (صلى الله عليه وسلم - salallahu alayhi wa sallam), he was smart. On caravans, he would always leave one person as a trailer, on his own horse. So that person would go and circle back, and make sure no one left any like goods, babies, right? In this case, the wife of the Prophet, (صلى الله عليه وسلم - salallahu alayhi wa sallam).

So, the person goes, circles back, and he finds her. And she's laying, she's laying against a rock, he thought she died. He said, (إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ - "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.") Right? He was like, what have I discovered? Right?

So, he, without even like, you know, saying anything, he just gets off of his horse, tell, asks her to get on, she gets on, and he walks her back to Medina. As they're walking back in, Abdullah bin Ubay sees this, and he, makes this rumor, that these two, stuck for a long time. Right? This hypocrite.

You know what's interesting about that? When this rumor started, there's a, there's so, I wish I could give a whole talk on this, Habib. Habib is so, amazing, the virtues from it. Number one, is that this rumor, actually caused Aisha, to fall ill, physically ill.

Remember we talked before about bullying, insulting, how it can affect somebody? So much so that Allah had to console the Prophet. Not even a human being could console him. Allah had to console him. When you start, or I start, or propagate rumors, it can literally cause someone to fall physically ill. Think of the wife, think of the wife of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).

Number two, is that the Prophet, when he heard this rumor, think about this, he didn't know if it was true or not. He did not know if it was true or not. Until Allah sent revelation, exonerating her, he did not know if it was true. By the way, Aisha was so special to Allah, that Allah himself exonerated Aisha.

Maryam Alayhi Salam was exonerated by who? Aisha, very good. Yusuf was exonerated by who? The? The woman. Yeah, exactly. She said, yeah, it was me, right? So, a person, first Prophet Yusuf, her child, for Maryam, how beloved was Aisha to Allah, that Allah himself exonerated her. He could have made it so Abdullah bin Ubayy said, nah, I made it up. Right? So anyways, so the Prophet didn't know at the time.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was like, I don't know. He treated his wife so well. He was such an amazing husband, that after the whole story, she said, I didn't know that he was upset with me. The only reason I may have had an indication that he was upset with me and that he thought that this happened, was that he normally treated me so well, like, I was receiving gifts and showering praise and love, that instead of like being at a 10, he was at like an 8.

Like, what would a normal husband do if this accusation happened? It actually happened in my community once. The husband like left. It wasn't true, Alhamdulillah, he was an idiot, right? But he left. He just dipped. He's like, peace out. Right? And I was like, Subhanallah, you didn't even, you know, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - صلى الله عليه وسلم) instead of saying things like, how was your lovely morning my beautiful wife? He would just say, how was your morning my beautiful wife? Like, just take it, like, that's all hypothetical.

That didn't actually happen. But what I'm saying is like, just take it down one notch, a little bit. Right? That's how good of a person he was, Alhamdulillah. Subhanallah.

So what reward do you get when you forgive people? What happened was, this is a story about Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, and I promise I'm done with this. This is a story about Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. Abu Bakr as-Siddiq was the father of who? Aisha. Aisha. Very good. So whose daughter is he? Whose daughter is she? Very good. I kind of did a little flip on you guys. Okay? So Aisha is the daughter of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq.

Okay? Aisha has a cousin. His name is Mistah. Okay? Mistah. Literally spelled like Mistah. Okay? Mistah. Umm Mistah, the mother of Mistah, was one day with Aisha, as Aisha was sort of like, confused as to why people aren't talking to her, and like, she didn't know the rumor.

So, Mistah had been propagating this rumor, unknowingly, as a cousin. You know, he's one of those guys, he's like, you know what happened? Someone said that Aisha slept with this guy. Oh, like all these like terrible things, you know? So this also tells you something.

Allah says, if a person comes to you with news, especially if that person is a sinner, then verify it before you start talking. Right? So, Umm Mistah is walking, and she trips on her skirt. And I don't know why this was like a weird kind of insult, or weird like thing they would say.

It already happened once, I told you in the story of prayer. When she tripped, she said, may I lose Mistah. Like that was like, you know how we say oh darn it, or something? Right? Like back in like the 30s. Oh, gee willikers, right? Like, she said, may I lose Mistah. It's kind of a, I don't know, it's strange. Allah knows.

So Aisha, she said, don't say this. Like don't say that. Like even she felt weird about it. She was like, don't say that. It's not nice. So Umm Mistah was embarrassed. She said, why? You didn't hear what Mistah was saying about you? Girls are like, I know exactly what that moment feels like. Right? I've been at that dawah, or that auntie.

So, Aisha goes, what do you mean? Umm Mistah says, he's been saying this, this, this, this. That you were, you know, in the desert, and you came back with this man, well, A'udhu Billah. Umm, you know, good luck. I'm not going to be paying you anymore. I'm not going to pay you any more money. SubhanAllah. He held this, he was so upset at Mistah.

Did he have a right to be upset? Even if Aisha didn't do it, did he have a right to be upset? Of course he did. Because Mistah is saying this stuff, and not knowing. You know why I love this story also as well? It shows you, because Mistah is a Sahabi. It shows you the Sahaba also had struggles. Just like us. Just like us.

Right? It doesn't mean that you can't be a great Muslim because you made a mistake. So, Mistah did this, Abu Bakr Siddiq says, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala responds to Abu Bakr Siddiq. In the, in the Quran, he says وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا - "And let them pardon and overlook." [Quran 24:22] He says, and pardon him and forgive him.

Then he says, this is why you forgive people. You guys ready? أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللهُ لَكُمْ - "Would you not love that Allah should forgive you?" [Quran 24:22] So he says, wouldn't you love that Allah forgives you?

So he says وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللهُ لَكُمْ So when you forgive somebody in this life, you are gaining credit for Allah to forgive you in the next. That's the reason why we forgive.

When I'm like, look, you have to forgive people, we have to forgive people, you and I both, gotta forgive people. And you're saying, if you have inevitably and I have inevitably wronged somebody on the Day of

Judgment, Allah will then intercede for us. And what more could you ask for? Right? Because we've made so many mistakes in this life.

We've made so many that we don't even know how many we've made. We've made a lot that we don't even know if we've made them. SubhanAllah, we've made a lot of mistakes. So that's why we make a lot of istighfar. When you forgive somebody, Allah forgives you. That's the best reward you could get for this, inshaAllah.

Closing

(وَاللهُ أَعْلَم - Wallahu A'lam) We ask Allah to accept. I wanna end inshaAllah here. We're gonna be doing one more short khatira I think inshaAllah. But I wanna thank you guys for being such great students, inshaAllah, to sit here and gain this knowledge. We ask Allah to accept.

One of the brothers, inshaAllah, so graciously came and he gave me a little bit of advice and I wanted to take it. I think it's a good idea. In my previous talk, I said one of the biggest injustices against Allah is that people see Him as a vengeful God. What I should have said in clarity was that Allah, inshaAllah, He, people can commit injustice against themselves in their relationship with Him, but Allah is not a victim of injustice, right? Like Allah, inshaAllah, is above all that.

So I was hoping that when I said it, it didn't come across that way, but in case there was confusion, I wanted to clarify, inshaAllah, so I didn't mean that Allah is a victim of injustice, what I meant was that in the relationship with Allah, we commit injustice by saying He's a vengeful, angry God that's waiting to punish, okay? So we ask Allah, to accept.

"May Allah reward you [with] goodness."

"Glory be to You, O Allah, and all praises are due unto You. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but You. I seek forgiveness from You and repent to You."

"And peace be upon you, as well as Allah’s mercy and blessings."

Al-Fatiha