Death: A Positive Outlook

Death: A Positive Outlook

Br. AbdelRahman Murphy

Opening

"[Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you]"

"[I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan]"

"[In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful]"

Khutbat al-Hajah (Opening Khutbah)

"[All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His help, and ask for His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our souls and the misdeeds of our actions. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him; and whomsoever Allah misguides, none can guide him. And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone without any partners; and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him.]"

Main Khutbah

يَا عِبَادَ اللهِ ، قَالَ اللهُ تَعَالَى فِي كِتَابِهِ الْكَرِيمِ ، أَعُوذُ باللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّحِيمِ:

"[Every soul will taste death. Then to Us will you be returned.]"

If we're ever having non-Muslims over to discuss a topic for interfaith, or if someone converts to Islam, or if young people start to attend halaqat or lectures or Sunday school, people want to learn more about either their religion, Islam, or other people want to learn about our religion, Islam, one of the topics that is kind of difficult to discuss, a topic that people really don't like hearing about, is death. And it's natural, right? Part of this life is that we enjoy it. Part of this life is that we love being alive.

No one wakes up and says, I want to die today, right? Part of our existence is that we want to keep going. We want to keep doing what we got to do, right? And procreate and have families and keep our families going. So the topic of death is a very sensitive topic.

And it's very sensitive in a manner about teaching it as well, and talking about it as well. I do a weekly halaqat called The Good Life in Knoxville, where I'm from. And one of the topics for one of the weeks, we talk about vanity, we talk about modesty, we talk about treating your parents well, we talk about ihsan, we talk about a lot of topics about tazkiyat and nafs, purifying the heart and the soul.

But one week we decided to talk about death. And when I announced the topic in front of everyone, they all kind of sunk in their chairs. Because I'm talking to a bunch of teenagers and telling them that one day, this life that you enjoy, that you've only been here for a few years, relatively speaking, is going to end.

And after I introduced the topic, and I saw all their faces, and I saw that when you mentioned the title or the topic of death, or the fact that we all will die, I asked myself, I said, this is something that is not supposed to make you feel terrible. This is something that's not supposed to deflate you and paralyze you spiritually. When someone says you're going to die, we're not supposed to feel apathetic, that I have no control, my life is going to be wasted, and I'm going to hellfire regardless, when someone reminds you about death.

Why People Are Averse to Discussing Death

And I asked myself the question, I said, why is this the case that whenever we bring up the topic, that we are going to pass away? Whenever we bring up this topic, why are people so upset? And the answer that came to mind when I talked to all of my young people in my halakah, and I asked them, why are you so like averse to discussing this topic? They said, because it's always used to scare us. Whenever we do something incorrect, right? The imam of the masjid, or our parents, or our uncles, or aunties, may Allah bless all of them and protect all of them, our beloved elders, ameen. They said, whenever we make a mistake, the finger always comes and wags at us and says, you're going to die, right? If not by me, then someone else, right? You're going to pass away.

And so they developed this averse reaction to hearing about death. And the reason why is because the narrations in the Quran, the verses in the Quran, and the narrations of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), have been taken out of context, misused. It's true, Allah talks about death.

It's definitely true. It's true, the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) speaks about death. It's for sure true.

But look at the framework. Look at the paradigm. Look at the parameters in which he set it up.

And see then the mental effect that it has. I know that this is a little bit of an introduction, but it's important to get this going. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), in the ayah that I quoted, by the way, in the beginning, Allah says, that every soul will taste death, then what does he say after it? He says, ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ and then you're going to return to us.

And some people might say, oh, we're going to return, we're going to... But we should think positively. Allah says, the way that my servant thinks of me is the way that I am. So if a servant thinks and reads that ayah and says, we're going to return to Allah? Yeah.

We're going to go to Jannah inshaAllah and see Allah and be with Allah? Then that's the way that Allah will be. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) would tell the companions, remember often the destroyer of pleasures. Always remember the destroyer of pleasures.

Meaning what? Death. Something that ends pleasures. One time the companions were sitting in the masjid and they were having a little bit of a good time and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) showed up and he told them, he said, if you knew what I knew about the afterlife, you would laugh less and you would cry a little bit more.

And this narration is sahih. And people a lot, they talk about this narration a lot and they try to scare people. But you know what's interesting? Is that there's another riwayah, there's another narration in this chain.

Same story, but people don't quote it. People don't quote it. I don't know why.

Where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) went and he left that gathering and Angel Jibreel (peace be upon him) came to him. And he told him, he said, Ya Rasulullah, O Muhammad, O Messenger of Allah, go back. Go back and give them good news.

Because the way in which you left them, left them depressed. You walked in and you told them something and it really saddened their heart, it deflated their spirit. So go back and give them some bushra, some good news, about how Jannah is going to be amazing and awesome.

The Prophet's Balanced Approach

And so when we look and we see, even the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), by the way, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had good times. When he says you should laugh little and cry more, this is coming from a man who used to enjoy himself as well. He was very funny.

One time an older woman walked up to him and said, Ya Rasulullah, are older women like me, are we going to be in Jannah? And he said, No, definitely not. And she was like, Are you serious? And he said, Yeah. And she got a little emotionally upset.

And he said, Because when you enter Jannah, you'll be young. So he played a little joke. One time he was sitting with Umar bin Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him), and they were all sitting in a gathering, the companions, and they were just hanging out.

They were just, as SoCal kids say, they were thugging it. They were just kicking it. And they were eating some dates.

And someone grabbed the attention of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). So they would eat a date, they would take out the pit, and they would put it on the ground. And one of the other sahabi he grabbed, he said, Ya Rasulullah, I have a question.

So they began to discuss. And so Umar bin Khattab thought it would be funny. Remember this is Umar, the one when I say Umar bin Khattab, everyone imagines a sword.

They don't imagine a person for some reason, right? Umar thought it would be funny to take his date pits, his seeds, and pile them onto the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم)'s seeds to make it appear as if the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) ate a lot of dates. Right? So he did that. And when the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), by the way, interesting point about this story.

You want to know how good the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was at conversation? He didn't notice that Umar was doing this because he was so focused in talking to a companion. He was so focused in talking to him, he didn't even notice what was going on. That's how focused, when he talks to people, he looks, اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمْ, all the seeds on top.

And then he looks back, the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) looks back, and Umar, kind of loudly in the group, had to play a joke, says, Ya Rasulullah, you must have been really hungry. You had a lot of dates. And Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم), being like the ultimate man, peace be upon him, said, Ya Umar, you must have been even more hungry because you ate your seeds.

This was a man, who although he would remind the companions, laugh little, cry more, but he would also indulge, he would also give them the human side, be real with them. And so you find that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), lives the balanced model. He wasn't walking around, shaking a stick and a finger at everyone, death, death, you're gonna die, remember this.

Two Lessons on Remembering Death

But how did he do it? Did he paralyze? And did he deflate? No. There's two lessons from today's khutbah, in which whenever we think about death, whenever we talk about death, these are the two lessons that we need to remember, inshallah. This khutbah is called, or titled, or the thesis of it is, how remembering death can better your life.

First Lesson: Death as Motivation

And the first way, that we should all view death, the first, is motivating. Is motivating. And let me give you an example, it might be a little sore for a lot of you, but you'll understand what I'm talking about.

In a basketball game, there's four quarters, each quarter is 12 minutes. If a game is coming down to the end of its time, and the score is tied, each player wants to win the game. Some want to win it more than others.

Some, nowhere to be found in the fourth quarter. Right? One of those players, who historically, has always wanted to have the ball in his hands, if the game is tied, 100 to 100, and there's 10 seconds left, he's the one saying, give me the ball, I want to win the game for us. One of the players, after Michael Jordan, because I'm from Chicago, is Kobe Bryant.

And if you watch Kobe Bryant play, you see that whenever the game is close, he's not going to run and hide in the corner, and let Dwayne Wade take over. He's not going to go and say, coach, coach, take me out, I'm not ready for this. What does he say? He says, I am motivated.

The time is running out. But in my heart, I want to win this game. I know that I only have one shot, but I want to be the one to take it, and I want to win this game.

This, brothers and sisters, even though I'm not a Lakers fan, this is the spirit of a Muslim, in regards to death. When a Muslim lives their life, and they see that the years are going by, that they felt like they were 20, 30, 40, and now they're getting older, and they realize, it's inevitable, death will happen. It will take every single one of us.

Their spirit of a Muslim is not to become upset, or frustrated, or deflated, or paralyzed spiritually. The spirit of a Muslim is to say, this is my shot. This is the end of the game.

I got to make sure that I win this. Take a lesson, first time and last time, Kobe Bryant will ever be used as a reference in khutbah. Take a lesson from his game style.

When life is ending and death is a reality, don't be the one to sit on the sidelines. Don't let it pass you by, and then wonder what's going to happen. Am I going to win the game and go to Jannah, or am I going to lose? Take life into your own hands.

Three Benefits of Remembering Death

And if we remember death often, as the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) commanded us to do, there are three things, there are three things that it will do for us. The first and foremost, is that, it will make our relationship with our Creator, our Lord, Allah, it will make it better. Why?

Because when someone is remembering death, not in a depressing way, but in a motivating way.

When someone remembers that at one time, all of this will go. The Laker season, gone. Right? All of this will end.

Allah says, everything will be, gone, destroyed. When someone remembers this, they remember what? That Allah says, everything will be destroyed, except for Himself, except for His face, except for Allah. So when someone lives life knowing that everything is going to be gone, I'm going to work for the permanent.

I'm going to work for Allah. And so we know, that my life is not guaranteed. I might walk out of this masjid today, and get in a car, may Allah protect us all.

And something might happen to me. And I might pass away. Did I give this khutbah for the right reasons? Did I come to Irvine for the right reasons? Was I sincere for Allah? That's the whole point.

That's the whole purpose. And so each and every one of us, when we think about death, we think about, am I doing it for Allah? Am I working for Allah? Am I taking care of my family in the right way for Allah? Am I going to school and getting good grades for Allah? Am I treating my wife, and my parents, and my kids, am I treating them well for Allah? Because at the end, Allah is all that matters. At the end of it all, it doesn't matter whether or not you drive a Mercedes, or a BMW, or an Audi.

It doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't matter. Wallahi, I drive a Honda Civic, trust me, it does not matter.

What matters is, did you do it for Allah? Did you drive that Audi to the masjid for Allah? Did you take that Mercedes, and pack it up with things, and donate it to charity for Allah? Or was it all just for other people's sake? So the first way that remembering death will better your life now, is by remembering Allah.

Second Benefit: Better Relations with People

The second, is that it will force you, if someone really truly believes that at any moment they could die, it will force you to become a better person with other people. You won't feel comfortable, and I won't feel comfortable treating people badly.

Because I know, that subhanAllah, this might be the last time that I've ever interacted with you. There's a lot of brothers, subhanAllah, there was like four or five of my students from Chicago. There was two young people, 17 years old each.

They were driving a very fast sports car that belonged to one of their fathers. And they were going extremely fast. And they were going to hang out with their Muslim friends.

They weren't doing anything bad, besides speeding, which is bad. They were going, and they actually bumped into the car in front of them, got sideswiped, and rolled and flipped the car. It was a rear-engine car, so on impact, it exploded, and they died on impact.

May Allah give them Jannah, and give their parents patience. Because it's been years now, but I heard that the mother still can't even walk into her son's room. One thing that hit me, was that after they passed away, we did some counseling with the kids.

We said, you know, as older brothers, if you want to come talk to us, we're here for you. A lot of the kids said the last experience they ever had with one or both of the brothers, was they got into like a dumb argument, man. Something that was dumb.

Like, man, you didn't pass me the ball enough on the court. Or when we were eating at the restaurant, we ordered chicken shawarma, you took mine first.

And they got into some argument that doesn't matter.

And that was the last dialogue, conversation that they had with them. And I'm not saying that these brothers, or these people, were negligent of death, but what I'm saying is that what remembering death will do, is that it'll make you, at the end of it all, at the end of it all, the conversation, the argument, it'll make you say, you know what? This doesn't matter. Let's just make up.

Let's just fix things. Imam al-Shafi'i, a very famous scholar, extremely famous, was arguing with one of his students, was arguing, was debating. And the debate got so heated, that his student got up in the middle of the class, like hundreds of people, and he said, I'm done with this, I'm sick of this.

And he walked away. He began to walk with speed. And Imam al-Shafi'i could've done what? He could've sat there and be like, go, I have hundreds of other students, good luck.

Right? He could've done that. He's Imam al-Shafi'i. But he wasn't arrogant.

He didn't have kibr in his heart. He didn't have pride in his heart. He was humble.

He got up himself. He chased after his student. And he grabbed him by the hand and said, don't forget that we're brothers.

This argument we had, our blood, our laa ilaaha illallah muhammad rasoolallah, between us is thicker than that. So if we live life remembering death, we'll never ever feel comfortable having a bad relationship or a bad conversation with someone.

Third Benefit: Excellence (Ihsan)

And the last way in which death will make our life better, remembering death will make our life better, is that it will make us people who do ihsan.

And ihsan is kind of like this abstract Arabic word that people use sometimes, but I'm gonna translate it for you here. Ihsan means trying your best 110%, giving everything you've got. That's ihsan.

Ihsan means doing everything you can to reach the goal of success for Allah. And if someone remembers death, they're not gonna feel satisfied with second place. They're not gonna feel satisfied with mediocrity.

We're not satisfied as Muslims with mediocrity. We want the best. And some people translate that to doctor, right? But what we say is that anything you're doing, whatever you do, be the best at it.

If you're a student in school, be the best. If you're a parent, you have kids, be the best parent. Don't feel satisfied with not being the best parent with your kids.

If you're a child, be the best child. Don't feel satisfied with your parents saying, yeah, he was good, there were some things that he lacked on. Try your best.

And yes, we will hit bumps in the road, we will hit obstacles, but always bounce back. Bounce back from them inshaAllah. We ask Allah to make us amongst those who remember death.

And not in a way that paralyzes us, not in a way that deflates us, but in a way that makes us realize and motivates us towards Allah. And we ask Allah to make this khutbah a reminder for all of us, including the khateeb. We ask Allah to allow us to practice what has been said and been heard.

Second Khutbah

Maintaining Balance

Nation that is balanced, that is moderate, that is in the middle path. And so I think it's very important to discuss that when we remember death as human beings, as people who know that we're going to die, the inevitable, we remember it in between two extremes. We don't become depressed and we're not like happy-go-lucky, like cultish about death.

But we're in the middle. We realize that it's real, it's going to happen, but we work hard for it.

Practical Advice: Treating Parents Well

One practical tip, besides the three that I've given in the previous khutbah, one practical tip that I'd like to

end this khutbah on, and I think that it's very important, and it doesn't really matter what age you are, is that if you have parents, even if they've passed away, this is the moment where we realize that we have to treat our parents the best we can.

And as someone who moved away from his parents two years ago, young people, I can tell you, I had nothing more in my heart when I was living with my parents in Chicago. I had nothing more that I wanted than to move out and get my own place. I could not wait, right? And at some point, I think my parents also couldn't wait, right? The first night that I got to my place in Dallas, because I lived in Dallas for a year, the first night that I was there, I was a big man, had my own place, had my own car, right? Could go anywhere, could do anything, no curfew, right? Watch TV, ESPN's on, like I just leave it on for no reason.

I was on the living room carpet of my floor, of my living room, I was crying like a baby, saying that I miss my mom. And this is coming from a 6'3", 260 pound Kevin Love lookalike, right? I missed my mommy. And I call her on the phone and I'm crying, and she's crying of course, right? She's crying too, because I missed her.

And you know what? I still miss my parents. I miss my dad, I miss my mom, I miss my family, I miss my brothers, my sisters, I miss them. And it's part of life.

Sometimes you have to move away, sometimes you have to do what you gotta do. But it's important to always treat your parents the best, because you never know when you're gonna have to move away. And even more serious, you never know when they're gonna have to leave you, or you might leave them forever.

And if any of us have lost our parents, you know more than I know what I'm saying to you. And so today is the day that we decide, no matter what level we're at, to treat our parents better. No matter where your parents are, call them, text them.

If you see them in person, give them a hug. Call your parents, tell them that you love them. Tell them that you love them.

If your parents have passed and are with Allah, make dua and give sadaqah on their behalf. That's the way that you tell them that you love them, even though they're not here anymore, with us. Also on the other side, if you're a parent, like I said, my two students, there were like four or five, and brothers who are from Chicago, you know that Chicago had a really bad rash of young people dying for a while.

Parents lost their kids. Parents, we gotta make sure that the last thing we always say to our kids, no matter what the conversation is, is I love you. Always, we have to make sure that's the last thing we say.

Express love so much, because you don't want to end up in a situation where you wish that you could've, or you wish that you still could, but you can't. We ask Allah to make us better to our parents, and better to our kids. And even if they're not here with us, we ask Allah to let us honor their legacy, for their sake and for ours.

Closing Dua

We ask Allah to liberate and give protection and victory to our brothers and sisters in Syria, in Egypt, in Pakistan, in Afghanistan, in Sudan, in Somalia, all over the world where people are suffering. In America, where people are suffering, we ask Allah to give them relief, to give everyone a relief, spiritually, financially, physically, mentally. We ask Allah to uplift humanity from the darkness that it might be in right now, into the light that He grabs us all into.

We ask Allah to make us true lovers of Him and of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). And we ask Allah to grant us the success of being on the sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ), in many ways that it can be put on. And we ask Allah to make us those who have iman in our hearts, and in our families, and in our communities. to make us amongst those who remember death.

And not in a way that paralyzes us, not in a way that deflates us, but in a way that makes us realize and motivates us towards Allah. And we ask Allah to make this khutbah a reminder for all of us, including the khateeb. We ask Allah to allow us to practice what has been said and been heard.

Final Salutation