Dealing With Difficult Times
By AbdelRahman Murphy | 2026-01-19T10:28:13.447755+00:00 | Topic: General
Dealing With Difficult Times
Speaker: Ustadh Abdel Rahman Murphy
Opening
قَالَ اللهُ تَعَالَى فِي كِتَابِهِ الْكَرِيمِ بَعْدَ أَعُوذُ باللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّحِيمِ
The Early Trials in Mecca
During the initial stages of the message in Mecca, during the first part where the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم receives the first wahi, the first revelation of iqra, and then he went to his people.
After a few years of preaching silently, he went to his people and he announced publicly the situation of Islam and the message of Islam. The response was not too good.
The response was actually very negative. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم went through a lot of difficulty and his companions did as well to the point where they were emotionally tortured, they were mentally tortured, they were physically tortured. Socially, there was a lot of pain and torture going on.
It was a very difficult state. And the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم,because he cared for his people so much, because he was so worried about his community, it hurt him to see his people being hurt and tortured. He once saw Yasir and Yasir's wife Sumayya رضي الله عنهما and he saw that they were being physically tortured to the point where they're about to be killed.
And he can't do anything about it because he's also going through boycotting as well. And so he just has to walk by them, these two people being literally tortured. They were the first martyrs of Islam.
He had to go walk by them and just say, be patient. Be patient because what you're going through now will get you to Jannah. So the times were very tough.
Khabbab ibn Arat said that they used to put hot coals, they used to take coals like off of a barbecue, like off of a grill. Hot, hot coals. And they would tell him to take his shirt, they would put it on his back, to the
point where Umar ibn Khattab, after the Muslims had had their own state, their own place, Umar ibn Khattab asked him, he said, is it true that you went through a lot of pain and torture? I want to see your back.
And Khabbab lifted up his shirt and there were holes in his back. And Umar ibn Khattab fainted because he was so shocked that someone could go through such trial. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم himself, we all know the stories that during the time the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم would be praying and he would be in sajdah, he would be making sujood next to the Kaaba and someone would come and they would dump dead animals on his back to the point where all the blood and all the liquid would drip through his shirt.
And he would feel it on his skin. We know the instance of Taif where the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم walked out of the city and they started throwing rocks at him to the point where his beloved head and the blood from his head would drip down and fill up his sandal. So times were tough.
By no means were they easy times.
The Revelation of Character
So we would expect, any one of us would expect that the revelation that Allah سبحانه وتعالى would give during this time would have utmost importance with how to get through a difficulty. If any one of you is going through a difficulty and you come and you ask me for advice, I would give you the most important piece of advice to get you through that difficulty at that time.
And it's not different with Allah سبحانه وتعالى. After the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had gone through all these trials, in the middle of these trials, there are some definite solid sources that say that the next revelation the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم received during these trials were the first ayaat of surah Qalam, which begins:
Allah سبحانه وتعالى is telling the Prophet, you're not crazy. But then he says something interesting.
During this torture, during this difficulty, during these times that are trying your, every fiber of your body,
Allah سبحانه وتعالى tells the Prophet: صلى الله عليه وسلم
He says, in this difficulty, in this time, where you feel desperate, you feel upset, you feel flustered, you feel frustrated, you're not sure what the situation of your community is gonna be, he tells him, you have the best character. You are someone who owns character. In Arabic, it's not like you have it or you're with it.
He says لَعَلَى You're on top of it. When someone's on top of something, it's a symbolic meaning of ownership. If you're riding a horse, it means that you control that horse.
You own that horse. If you're riding a bike, it means you control that bike. You steer that bike.
Allah سبحانه وتعالى told the Prophet, you are on top of good character. You own it. You're such a good person that no one else can claim to be better in character and in manners than you.
What's the correlation though between being tortured and seeing your brothers and sisters in faith and community being tortured and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم being told you are a person, a man with the best character. That is the topic of today's khutbah. That is the topic of today's khutbah is the correlation, the relationship between these two concepts.
The True Meaning of Strength
And the concept is that, as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, that the strong person is not the one who can wrestle another person to the ground. The strong person is the one who when they are in a time of anger, they can control their anger. So the correlation is that the Prophet was going through the most difficult time, but Allah is reminding him.
Because when times get difficult, that is when our character starts to corrode. That is when our manners start to fall away. And so Allah is reminding the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that no matter how tough these times are gonna be, no matter how much you just wanna give up, realize that you have the best character and you have to maintain that character.
Examples of Prophetic Character
And we see this through the life of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم one time, he used to give khutbah on a tree stump. I may have told these stories before, but it's good for a reminder.
He used to give khutbah on a tree stump. So right now I'm giving it on this. But his minbar used to be a tree stump.
He used to stand on top of it and deliver the message to the Muslims. One day his companions felt as if, you know, this isn't proper. He is the Prophet of Allah.
We should build him a proper minbar, just like this one, right? A nice, big, beautiful minbar. So they built it for him. That next Friday, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم went back and he began to deliver the message on the new minbar.
And this is in Bukhari. The companions narrate, and they said, Wallahi, when he began to give the khutbah on the new minbar, we heard the tree, and the tree was crying. The tree was crying.
The tree was making a weeping sound. It was crying. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمhe noticed this, and he went over to the tree.
And he went and he consoled the tree. Because the tree missed the presence of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. The tree was only a few yards away from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمbut the tree missed it enough to cry.
We might think like, okay, this doesn't seem real. This seems like a cartoon kind of fairy tale. But this is real.
This is narrated in the books of hadith. Tawasir, like many different companions who never even met, narrated it at the time. So it's true.
This happened in the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم . He had good character even with trees, with animals.
Compassion with Animals
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was making wudu once. He was making wudu in a big basin. It was a long basin. Because people used to line up and make wudu there.
And the water was very low. And the basin was very deep. And a cat came by.
A cat came by and walked up, and it tried to reach into the basin with its neck, but its neck wasn't long enough. And so it would try to get down and lick some water, but its neck wouldn't reach. Because the water level was so low.
Now the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is in the middle of making wudu. And I know a lot of us maybe don't have khushu in wudu, and we're working on it. But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلمwudu is an act of worship.
And so he's engaged in this act of worship. He's washing himself. He's making dhikr of Allah سبحانه . وتعالى
He's focused on preparing for meeting Allah in prayer. He's focused. Right? Like Kobe in the fourth quarter, he's focused.
Right? He's making wudu. He's washing up. And this cat walks by.
He stops his wudu. He stops his act of worship. He takes the basin from one end, and he lifts it up so that all the water rushes down and fills up in the corner of one end so that the cat can take its drink.
And the cat drinks its water to its full, and walks away like, peace out, thank you. Right? And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم continues and does his wudu. Even with animals, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had mercy, had good character.
Kindness with Companions
We see even with his friends. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had a friend named Abdullah bin Masud, one of his homies, his companions. And Abdullah bin Masud, he had what we would call, respectfully, what we would call nowadays chicken legs.
He had really skinny legs. And so one day in front of all the companions, there was a date tree, and Abdullah bin Masud was very good at climbing trees.
So he wanted to go up and he wanted to shake the date tree, so that they could, all the dates could fall down and people could eat some dates.
So he climbed up the tree, and in the middle, in the process of climbing up the tree, his izar or his thob, or what he was wearing, his cloth, gets lifted up a little bit, and you see his calves, and they're very skinny. And so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is sitting with the rest of the companions, and they're all just, they're all seeing this happen, and they all start laughing. And they all start saying, Abdullah, your legs are so skinny, dude.
You got chicken legs, bro. And they start making fun of him. All the companions start picking on him a little bit, right? And they love him.
Don't get me wrong, they're not trying to make him feel bad, they love each other. Right? But the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم knows that what? وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَى خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ You have good character, you have perfect character, you have to set an example of what good character is. So in the middle of all of them having fun, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says, you know what, you guys might be making fun of his legs, but his legs, in the sight of Allah, are heavier in the scale of good deeds than the mountain of Uhud.
Because of how good Abdullah bin Masud was. His legs are heavier than a mountain in terms of good deeds. And the companions were like, treated, right? So they were like, whoa, they got quiet because they realized that this guy, even though they're making fun of him, he's big time, he's big time, right? He's the real deal.
Grace with Family
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also, even with his daughter, had good character. One time he was sitting in a meeting with all the companions, a very important meeting, they're planning out the community, and his daughter comes to him. And she comes and she, she walks in the door.
Now we'll be sitting and watching, I mean the Lakers didn't get to game 7, but we'll be sitting and watching, you know, game 6, game 5, game 4, we'll watch something. Or maybe we're watching like football, or cricket, or the news, the elections in Egypt are going on right now. We're in a situation where we feel like we're very busy.
And our kids come in, right, or our siblings come in, or our cousins come in, or someone comes in, and they want our attention, we're like, hold on, hold on, wait till it finishes, come talk to me in 30 minutes, right. Or we're on Facebook, right, we have very good khushu on Facebook, mashallah, right. Like, you wanna know what khushu in prayer is? You wanna know how when you're on Facebook, you can't hear when your mom's calling you? That's how prayer is supposed to be like.
Prayer is supposed to be like, you're praying, and people are talking, and you can't hear. But when we're praying for somebody, we hear the details of every conversation, right. Or you're on Facebook or something, you're updating, you're tweeting, lol, life is great, SoCal, mashallah, right.
His daughter comes in, and instead of being like, stiff arm, like Adrian Peterson, no, leave, right. What does he do? He says, come here, come here, and he sits her down. He makes sure that their knees are touching.
He tells his companions, like, hold up for one second, okay, hold up, my daughter's here, this is important. He comes and he sits down, they sit, and they begin to talk. He says, how's your day going? Everything's good? What's up? What's new? What's going on? And she says, you know, this, this, this.
He goes, oh, for real? Awesome. He goes, okay, cool. He goes, listen, I'm in a meeting right now, right.
I'm glad we had this chat. I'm in a meeting right now, let me finish it up in a little bit, and we'll get back together and we'll continue this conversation.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was on supreme character.
It doesn't matter who came in. His daughter even comes in, in the middle of an important meeting, he pauses, and he says, come, habibti, come, let's talk.
Even on his deathbed when his daughter came to him, (عليه الصلاة والسلام), and he's in the middle of passing away, he was still concerned about giving her attention.
And she came in crying because she was afraid she was gonna miss her father. She's gonna miss her father. She knew she was.
And he whispered in her ear that soon that she would be joining him in jannah. And she began to laugh because she knew that's what she wanted more than anything.
Service at Home
With his wives, we know the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he came home to Aisha, and Aisha narrates that he used to mend his own clothes.
He tore his shirt, or he tore his pants, he wouldn't drop it off, you know, with his wife, or with his mother- in-law, or mother, or whatever. He wouldn't say, like, fix that. He would say, give me the needle, give me the thread, let me fix it myself.
His sandals would have a problem, he would fix it himself. The house was a little bit dirty, he would clean it himself.
He had a great character, good manners, everything he would take care of himself.
One time he came home, he hadn't eaten all day. Brothers, I know when you get home from work, you want to chow down some Nihari and Biryani, you want to get serious at the dinner table, I understand.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was hungry too.
He came in, he said, what's for dinner? What's cooking? Right? Aisha said, Ya Rasoolallah, we don't have anything to eat right now. He said, cool, I'll fast.
Look at that response.
Right? If we came home from a long day of work, and we're expecting this beautiful, steaming hot, five- star gourmet meal to be at the table, and the wife says, we didn't have any groceries, so I didn't cook. We're like, what? Go get some groceries and go cook. Right? I'm home, I'm home, I want to eat.
That's the typical man response. Right? The macho man response. No, not true.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was the manliest of men. And what was his response? You didn't cook today? We didn't have any groceries? Okay, I'll fast the rest of the day. And then we'll eat later, we'll break fast later.
This is the character of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
The Impact of Character on Faith
What makes this interesting to talk about is that there is a direct correlation. So, so far we've just told stories, and this will probably seem very boring, but there's a reason why I'm telling all these stories.
There's a reason why. Each and every one of us interacts with someone, whether it's at school, whether it's at work, probably we all interact with our families at home, we have friends, we have colleagues, we have people that we see on a daily basis. We interact with people, right? The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was in the middle of the most difficult time of his life, and Allah reminded him what? Make sure you don't lose your good manners.
Why? The mufassireen say, the scholars of Quran say, because the way that you treat people is gonna be an influence on their faith. You know, I was told by a lot of young people, I'm a youth director, and I work with young people. I was told by a lot of young people who strayed away from the deen, who were like, Islam is not for me, I don't want to practice anymore.
They told me, the number one reason why I don't want to be religious is because of religious people. It's because of religious people. Because they judge me, they speak condescending towards me, they make me feel like I'm not good enough, they don't have good manners with me.
Right? And even nowadays, it's known, right? It's known. I just went to a wedding, on the card it said, dinner will be served at 7 o'clock. My wife and I said, uh-huh, 9.30, right? We knew, like, it's going to be late.
It's going to be late. We knew. Because why? Because Muslims are late.
Muslims start things late. Right? A speaker comes in for a lecture, he's late. Everyone's late.
Right? This isn't the manner, this isn't the high level of esteemed character that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was talking about. This isn't the high level of character that he was trying to teach us. Because when we interact with non-Muslims, when we interact with Muslims, we're giving them a perception of Islam.
And so we have to make sure that we are on our game, in terms of character, on our A-game. We can't mess up.
A Warning Example
There was once a class in a college nearby where I grew up in Chicago. And that college had a lot of Muslims because it was a sciences college. So a lot of Muslims would do their pre-med qualifications or stuff there, their pre-med classes there. They would go to med school.
And there was one chemistry lab that had, like, 18 to 20 Muslim kids in it. And they had all organized for their final exam a way for them to cheat on their lab. All of them.
So they did it, obviously, right? They passed it through. Muslims are good at this stuff, I guess. So they passed it through.
They went through. And they all cheated on their labs. The professor got the labs back.
He graded them. Right? He noticed this. And one of the kids, for some reason, he revealed the truth.
He exposed the truth and said, yeah, we cheated. The professor then said to all the students in the class, right? He said, I'm never ever going to trust Muslims again. He just said it.
He had no fear about saying it. Because the character and the manners that they displayed showed him about their faith. The way in which they interacted with him showed him what? This is what our faith is.
And it was incorrect. But now, it's in his mind, it's in his heart. And may Allah سبحانه وتعالى help him break that.
The Positive Impact
So we always get excited. We always get very excited when someone comes and accepts Islam. And we should.
We get very excited when someone decides to start practicing the deen more. And we should. We get excited when we start practicing the deen more.
And we should be excited. But, don't let this deen turn me or you into a person that turns people away from it. Islam should not transform someone into someone who makes others feel bad.
When someone encounters a Muslim, the Muslim should always make the person feel good, feel accepted, feel loved. That's what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was. When people came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, they walked away feeling like, man, that guy made me feel awesome.
You know Khalid ibn al-Walid, his story of conversion? Khalid ibn al-Walid, his story of conversion was one compliment. Khalid ibn al-Walid's brother had converted. He went to go meet with the Prophet.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, hey did your brother Khalid convert yet? His brother said, no, he didn't convert yet. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, man, Khalid's a really smart dude. I figured that by now he would have been Muslim.
Khalid's brother went back to Khalid, and he told him, you know the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, you know what he said about you? Khalid said, what? And by the way, Khalid ibn al-Walid, before Islam, he killed Muslims. So the brother comes and says, Khalid, you know what he said about you? He goes, what? What did he say? He said, yeah, the Prophet said, you're a really smart guy. Khalid goes, ashhadu an laa ilaaha illallah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah.
Because he was complimented. He felt good. So we need to make sure that on a non-Muslim level, when we interact with non-Muslims, we make them feel like Islam is awesome.
That it trains us to be the best. And within our communities, if some of us feel like we are practicing the religion or taking it more seriously, that does not mean that we make other people, first of all, we don't judge, second of all, that doesn't mean we make other people feel bad. Because the way in which we treat people will affect their faith.
Will affect their faith. This is a very, very important topic. InshaAllah.
Family Dynamics and Faith
And not repel people away from it. And been taught to say for our parents as young people or any age.
And the dua is:
Dua for Parents - (رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا)
The dua is Oh Allah, Have mercy on both of them. (رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا) Just like, right, you did (كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا) Just like when they raised me.
This dua is a beautiful dua because you're asking Allah to have mercy on your parents just like parents have mercy on their kids. It's a wonderful dua. But you know what's interesting about it? It's the grammar.
If you look at the Arabic of the dua, you'll find that one word is repeated twice. And that word is رَبِّ. In the first instance, the word رَبّ is a word of نِدَاء calling out. رَبِّ you're calling out to Allah.
So that word means Allah. (رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا) The second instance of the word رَبّ is talking about parents. In Arabic, when one word is used for two different things, it means they have a relationship.
So the word رَحْمَة is used for mercy, and it's also used for rain. What does that mean? It means that rain is a mercy. So in this dua, Allah is using رَبّ to describe Himself, and to describe the actions of parents.
What does that mean? The Mufassirin say, the scholars say, the way in which parents interact with their kids will affect the kids' relationship with Allah.
And on a greater level, we can say, the way that the family interacts with each other will affect the faith of that family. And so it's very important for us to take this concept seriously.
That at home, we create a loving atmosphere. And I'm not just talking to the parents, by the way. Young people, all of you have siblings, all of you have parents, all of you have, you know, cousins, uncles.
We need to start treating them better so that their faith increases. Because too often, someone is turned away from this faith because of the way they've been treated. And that should never ever be the case.
Never. We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to make everyone strong on their faith. We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالی to help our brothers and sisters in Syria, and in Egypt, and in Pakistan, and Palestine, and Sudan, and Somalia, and Afghanistan, and all over the world, here in America.
We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to help our brothers and sisters here. We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to grant everyone in humanity out of darkness into light. We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to increase this community, protect this community, to cure all of our community members.
If any of them have passed away, we ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to grant them Jannatul Firdaus bi ghayri hisab, with no accountability. And we ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to allow us to practice the sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in a way that pleases him, and to see the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in our lifetime here, and also in Jannah, and enter Jannah with no accountability.
Closing Prayers
الفاتحة