Be Social Like the Prophet (ﷺ)

Be Social Like the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم

Opening

We want to say ameen to the blessing of the ability to sit here in warmth when it's cold and raining outside, but then again, when is it not cold and raining in Wales? I went to Swansea last year and I spoke to about a hundred sheep, no, I'm just joking. But it was cold and raining back then too, so, you know, we're here in the warmth and there's people who don't have the choice, you know, sometimes they have to sleep underneath a bridge or they have to find shelter wherever they can.

So we thank Allah for that, we thank Allah for eyes that can see and ears that can hear and, you know, the ability to feel and to love one another, alhamdulillah. And we also ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم for without him we would not have this blessing of Iman, of Hidayah, which is the most valuable blessing.

The Value of Guidance

And the reason why Hidayah is the most valuable blessing, I know that it's a common statement that a lot of people say is like, well, guidance is the most valuable thing that we have. And I know that everyone says that, but, you know, a lot of my youth that I work with are very honest with me. And they're like, Brother Murphy, I really don't think that guidance is, you know, that much more important to me than my PS4, right?

So, and they're being honest, so I said, well, you know, the reason why Hidayah is the most valuable thing that you own is because without it you wouldn't be able to see life the way that it should be seen, right? It's kind of like how a person might not consider their glasses the most important thing that they own until they lose them. And then they can't see the world properly.

So, the reason why we don't really take Hidayah as seriously as we should is because we're always wearing it, but the minute we lose it, and the minute we're in a state of confusion or flux, that's the minute that we appreciate the guidance that Allah has given us, because it clarifies the world for us.

The Mission Statement: Be Like Muhammad

This tour is called the Be Like Muhammad tour. I want everyone to say that, Be Like Muhammad. Say it one more time. This is the mission statement of our life. This is the goal that we have.

"There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern"

He said that verily, for sure, without a doubt, that a messenger was sent to you, and he was the most perfect example, the most beautiful example. And (أُسْوَةٌ - uswa) doesn't just mean example, but it means pattern. Because in order to build an example, in order to build a behavior, you have to do it consistently, with routine.

And so the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم this verse tells us very, very simply, that if we want to know how to act in any situation, whether it's on campus, whether it's at home, whether it's by ourselves, or with another person, a friend, if we look at the example of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم we could find the guidance and the direction on how to behave in that situation.

Following the Complete Example

And this is the tricky part, is that the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم his example is meant to be followed in totality, in entirety. And I'm not saying that everybody has to rock this, I don't normally wear this, I'm just doing it because I have to, I think. I came from Birmingham, I don't know if they let you wear a thobe. The round has barely escaped.

It doesn't mean necessarily to wear a thobe, because Abu Jahl wore thobes. So Abu Jahl wore the same clothes the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did. So this doesn't inherently make someone a good Muslim. To have a beard is, again, part of the example, but that alone doesn't make somebody a good Muslim. To wear a hijab is also an imperative part of the example, but that alone doesn't make somebody a good Muslim.

Being like the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is like following a recipe to the tea. You guys know what to the tea means? I don't know if it's an American expression or not. The brother was telling me, someone told him before, like, I'll hit you up. And in America, what that means is what? Yo, I'll hit you up later. What does that mean? I'll call you back. And he was like, why would you ever hit me? What did I do? So I always have to clarify what's an American idiom and what's not.

The Recipe Analogy

So, to follow a recipe to the tea. There are some components to recipes, and if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I cook a lot. If you follow a recipe, you know that there are some components to that recipe which are absolutely essential.

For example, if you're making chicken tikka, you're going to have some problem if you don't got no chicken, right? You're just going to make tikka. I don't even know what that means, right? But, but, if you have the chicken, and maybe you have some ginger and some garlic and some salt, that's where a brother can cook, right? And you have some of the spices, then you can get close.

So there are some components of following the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم which are not negotiable. Just like a chicken is not negotiable in a chicken dish. But there are some components, right, which should be striven for. You should strive for them, and if you don't attain them, it doesn't ruin the entire experience, but if you're able to attain it, you will enhance your experience.

So for example, there's like this one spice. My mom was like, you know, if you're going to make my shawarma, her famous recipe, she's like, you need to get this exact spice. I'm like, what if I don't use it? She's like, it'll be terrible, but you can still eat it. Right? So it'll still be edible, it'll still do the job of feeding me, but it won't taste exactly the same.

So the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم example, you can tell that I'm hungry. The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم example, when it comes to Islam, is like nailing that recipe. It's like the secret sauce, right?

The Importance of Studying Seerah

And a lot of people, subhanAllah, we claim to be Muslim, we have this love and this adherence for our religion, but we kind of sometimes get a little bit frustrated or confused. And I promise you the reason why is because we don't have a good grounding in seerah in the life of the Prophet Muhammad صلی الله عليه وسلم

I promise you, if we had a good grounding in two things, in tafsir of the Quran and in knowing the life of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم I promise you our experience as Muslims would change. Because when Allah says that He wants you to be Muslim, He doesn't want you to be Muslim and hate being Muslim. He wants you to be Muslim and love Islam. Right?

The point of religion is not to hate the process. It's not homework. It's not studying for exams. It's supposed to be this life-enhancing experience.

Tonight's Topic: Socializing Like It's Sunnah

Tonight's session is talking about socializing like it's sunnah. And the reason why we came up with this topic name was because of the recipe that the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم presented us to establishing true faith, part of which is to have a social life.

Allah told the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم in Surah Al-Imran, He describes him in a way that's very beautiful. He says that it was by the rahma, the mercy of Allah, that you would treat people with softness, that you were soft and lenient with people. Because had you been harsh-hearted, Allah says, then surely they would have run away from you.

Allah is not just talking about the non-believers. He's talking about everybody. He's saying that it's a blessing and it's a mercy from Allah that your character, (وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَى خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ - wa innaka la'ala khuluqin 'azeem) - "And indeed, you are of a great moral character" [Quran 68:4] Allah tells him that verily you are on top of good character. Allah is saying it's a blessing that you have that good character.

Because if you didn't, if you didn't have that softness of heart, that sweetness of character, if you didn't have what Anas bin Malik رضي الله عنه said I never saw the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم not smiling. How many of us are not smiling right now? Anas said, I never saw him not smiling. Allah says, if you didn't have that, then your job of teaching people about this faith would have been in vain because they would have run away from you.

We Are Messengers of the Messenger

So you have this faith, you have this recipe, you have this secret code, this treasure chest of valuables, but unless the treasure chest is presented in a way that's nice, that's amicable, no one's going to want to open it. No one's going to want to see what's inside.

And so when we look at ourselves as Muslims, especially as Muslim minorities in a majority non-Muslim situation or country, it's especially important for us. Because we, whether or not you want it, represent the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. We are messengers of the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم

One of my teachers when I was younger, he told me that when I was 13. And I felt so much immense pressure on myself. He says, you are a messenger of the messenger. Anything that you do, anything that you do, people are going to look back and attribute it to your messenger.

And if you have any ounce of love for him, then you'll ask yourself before you do something, is this going to be okay if someone attributes this to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم? Now obviously, no one's going to live up to that example perfectly, but it's the effort that counts. Allah judges you based on effort, not based on success. He's nicer than your professors, right? So, he's more merciful than your professors.

The Need for Character-Based Seerah Study

So when we look at the life of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم from an academic perspective, you look at the seerah. What's the two things I said we need to increase our understanding of? Number one was? Tafseer. How many of you guys have heard of Shaykh Abdul Nasser, Imam Ali Khan, Imam Sahib Webb? They do tafseer out the wazoo. They have tafseer recordings like more than you have time to listen to. And so there's not a lack of content. There's an abundance of content. So please, please, please get up on that.

Then the seerah. If we look at the current seerah, the contemporary seerah resources that we have, you find the majority of them are encyclopedia in nature. For example, they have when the battles happened, when the expeditions happened, what dates this happened, what dates this happened. You find very rarely, for some reason, and in traditional books you find it, but no one translated them. You find very rarely that they talk about the personality of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم

His character, how he acted with people. And to be honest with you, the dates are fine. You can learn those. But to nail down the personality of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is a task that is very rare.

One of the best resources I've seen in the English language on this topic is Tariq Ramadan's In the Footsteps of the Messenger. I believe it's In the Footsteps of the Prophet of the Messenger. His little seerah book. It's about the size of this mushaf. Obviously it's not as deep in content, but it's about that size. It's not too big. It's a wonderful introduction to his character. And most of the things that I'm going to talk to you about tonight are going to come from discussions that Dr. Tariq brings up in his writings.

Why Socializing Matters

The concept of having a social life might seem superfluous. A lot of people might say to themselves, well, can't I just practice my religion? Why is Allah commanding me to have friends? First of all, if you're asking that question, we've got to talk. Why is Allah commanding me to have friends? He's not commanding you to have friends.

He's saying that it's part of your nature. Allah constantly in the Quran, in the surah Surat Al-Hujurat which was recited, Allah also talks about, you know (اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ - ihdinas-siraatal-mustaqeem) - "Guide us to the straight path" [Quran 1:6] He uses the pronoun (اهْدِنَا - ihdina), all of you. Guide us to the straight path.

There's always this concept of community, of being part of something, of companionship, either at a small or great level. So whether or not you understand, or you agree, or you appreciate, you're on a team. And part of being a good team player is learning how to interact well.

The Team Analogy

If a soccer player, sorry, football player, if a football player takes the ball and doesn't pass to anybody, doesn't, you know, doesn't get open, doesn't sort of give it and go, then how are they ever going to function well on a team? They'll cut that person. They'll be like, look, you're not a team player. Right?

And so part of being, a part of this ummah of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is that we have to acknowledge, appreciate, and work on our skills on being a team player.

Many of us are on many different teams. We have many different aspects of teams. For some of us, we have families. That's our first team that we're on. We have a mom and dad who are coaches. Right? We have brothers and sisters, maybe siblings. We have cousins. We have people that we're related to. And oftentimes we neglect the people that we're closest to for the people that we're not as close to.

So for example, we'll choose our friends over our parents. It's a very ajib kind of like tradition that we find. But you are a part of it whether or not you admit it.

Then you have your social. You have your ISOC. You have your brothers and sisters, hopefully segregated a little bit, right? And then you have your, you sort of your, the events like tonight. Then you have the larger community. Maybe the larger Muslim community of Cardiff, of Wales. Then the United Kingdom. And then obviously the Ummah of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

So whether or not you admit it, you acknowledge it, it's the reality. And so, what do you call someone who does not acknowledge reality? That person is in denial. None of us want to be in denial.

Four Characteristics of the Prophet's Social Character

Let's talk about some characteristics of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). I have some stories to tell you. We're going to go through these stories, InshaAllah. And then we'll be finished when the talk is not too long. And I apologize for being late. I really appreciate your patience.

1. He Was Socially Open and Welcoming

The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), the first characteristic, and if you have a notebook, you should write this down. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), the first characteristic that he had is one that's not, not directly stated, but you can kind of extrapolate from all of the Hadith literature that we have. Right?

And that is, the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) enjoyed being with people and he, Alayhi Salaatu Wasallam, was open to being with people. He wasn't someone who was cut off. Okay? He wasn't someone who was cut off.

And you find, by the way, a lot now in pop culture and current modern sort of like, culture, that it's cool to be a loner. Alright? How many of you all saw Twilight? Don't lie. We all saw Twilight. I was forced. Alright? No.

So, no, Twilight's a great comedy actually. It's a wonderful comedy. If you really want to laugh, you should just watch it. But if you look at the main character, the main characters, they all are sort of like these insular people who don't like talking to people. And then immediately after Twilight came out, you go on Twitter and I see all the girls from our youth group they're like, I don't like people. Leave me alone.

Right? That's not the character of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was the kind of guy that, how do you think we got all the hadith that are narrated to us? A lot of which are from his wife, Aisha radiAllahu anha, who was the second most after who? Who was the first? Abu Huraira. Very good.

Abu Huraira. Who's the first after Abu Huraira? But how do you think Abu Huraira was able to get all these narrations? Because the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was someone who was like, Hey Abu Huraira, come on over. Come hang out.

Abu Huraira would be at the masjid. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) lived right next door. Anytime that was available to the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)'s time, obviously he had a schedule. Anytime that was open, people could come up to his door, could knock on it, and he would see them.

You know, there's a famous narration of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) where Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiAllahu anha, he knocks on the door. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) says, Come in. Abu Bakr walks in and he sees the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) just chilling, just lying down on his side. So much so that they said that his knee was showing. Like the cloth he was wearing around his waist, his knee was showing.

Meaning what? He was relaxed. He was comfortable. When someone walks in and you're not relaxed and comfortable, what do you do? You straighten up your clothes. You're like... Right? You try to get all like, add attention for them. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was chilling, man. Like he was kicking it. Right?

And then, who comes next? Umar ibn Khattab ibn Dhul Han comes and knocks. He walks in and then still chilling. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is like, Yeah, come in, come in. Let's hang out. Right? Just hanging out. Then Uthman walks in.

And this is where the narration changes a little bit. Uthman knocks, walks in and the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) sees him and he fixes his... He fixes his clothing. And Abu Bakr and Umar are like, What? Okay. What are you trying to say? Like, why not us?

And he said, Shouldn't I be shy a little bit of the one who the angels are even shy of? Meaning Uthman was someone who his character was so full of modesty that even the angels were like kind of like shy around Uthman. So the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was like, I can't be laying down in front of Uthman.

Uthman's like, you know, you have those friends that you can lay down in front of and you have the friends that you cannot lay down in front of. Right? So Uthman... And not something that was wrong with them but something that like you just out of respect almost for their aura, right? You just respect them so you just don't do that. Right? And so Uthman was one of those people.

So the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was very open to being with people. As I narrate these characteristics, remember, we talked about the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was an example. Uswatun Hasana. So look at yourself. Ask yourself, am I somebody who pushes people away? The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was someone who was magnetic. If there's one description I'm going to give to him, he was an attractor. He was someone that people would want to spend time with.

How about this? As they were ending their conversation, the person would not want it to end. Ask yourself, am I that person? Right? And if I'm not, what can I do to fix that? And remember, we talked about first is with our families immediately. The families have to be first.

We can't neglect our families while we're serving our other social circles, our other teams. We've got to make sure that we have our families down first. And this is especially important for young people.

Are your parents the kind of people that want to talk to you? Parents, are you the kind of people that your kids want to talk to? Right? This is a very, very important building block in the home. Are you someone who is magnetic, who is attractive to people for conversation? Okay?

That is the first characteristic of the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam that we can talk about. He was socially attractive. People always wanted to see him.

2. He Would Always Be Positive

Number two, he would always be positive. He would always be positive. Like I said in the hadith before about Anas radiallahu anhu, he said, I never saw the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam not smiling. Guys, do you think the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam had times where he didn't smile? Let's be real. Can we be real for a second? Yes or no? Yeah, we know for sure.

Like for example, there's times, I don't think the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam was smiling in battle. I don't think he smiled when his son passed away, his children passed away. I don't think he smiled when his uncle or wife passed away. We know for a fact there were times when he did not smile. This does not discount the narration of Anas. Actually, it makes it stronger.

Why? Let me tell you guys something or ask you a question. When someone is known for something, right, when someone is absolutely like, you know that's part of their character, we oftentimes, as a medium of balagha, of rhetoric, we attribute it to them all the time. Right?

So for example, if someone works out a lot, what do you say about them? They're always at the? Gym. Right? Are they literally always at the gym? I hope not. Brother's gotta go to the bathroom. He's gotta sleep. Like, you know what I'm saying?

But we say what? Man, that guy is always at the gym. Right? And you say like, my mom cooks so much, she never leaves the? Right? I'm not assigning gender roles. Mothers don't have to cook. Mother can cook. But I'm just saying.

So even in the English language, you see how we assign perpetuity. We make things perpetual when they're not necessarily infinite, but rather they're common or constant. So NS, when he described the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) as this, it doesn't literally mean that the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) never smiled. We know there were times where he didn't smile.

But what it means was he smiled so much that I could describe him as always smiling because I never saw him not smile. Right? It's a phenomenal thing. Ask yourself. Now, check yourself. Look in the mirror. Am I a person who's positive when people encounter me? Right? And check out one more thing. Am I positive even when things in my life are not going so well?

This is something the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) had down, he mastered this. He didn't hide or mask things. Rather, he didn't pass off or project his stresses to other people. This was something that he was a master of this. And we have this characteristic, unfortunately, is that when things bother us, then in order to get it off of our chest and sort of express it and sort of spread the wealth, even though it's not wealth. It's more like dirt.

But like when we're upset, when things bother us, we give it to other people. Right? We become like this ball of negative energy. We just want to spread it out. The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), when things were stressing him out, when things were bothering him, he would hold it in. He would tell who was appropriate. But generally, if people came to him, he would be positive.

The Story of the Young Man Asking for Zina

And you see this in all kinds of situations. One time a young man went to the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and asked, I want you to give me a fatwa for Zina. First of all, just imagine that for a second. Like that conversation. Hashtag awkward. Like you're just like, okay.

And the companions were all around the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and they're just like, is this dude trolling? Like what is going on? And he was serious. He's like, Ya Rasulallah, I'm attracted to this girl. Can I get a fatwa? Right? I mean, I don't know what I would say if a young person came up to me.

First of all, I don't even know, Subhanallah, look at the comfort level that they had with him. That they were like, Ya Rasulallah, can you give me a fatwa to do this clearly haram act? Like they were so comfortable with him. He never, that goes back to the first point, he never repelled people. They were so comfortable even to the point where they would go ask him for such a thing. Hajeeb. Right? That's why we say Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad.

Look at that character. So the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), so he looks at the young man and he says, let me ask you a question. He never, by the way, in this whole conversation, listen for a no. He never says no. He says, let me ask you a question.

He says, do you have any womenfolk in your family? Any mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, etc.? He goes, yeah, yeah. Obviously I'm born to a mother. Everybody was. And he goes, I have a sister. I have womenfolk.

And he goes, how would you feel if somebody came to you or me and asked me for permission to do this act with your women and your family, the people that you hold dear to your heart? And the guy said, I would hate it. And he said, so how do you think the family of this girl feels if they, or if they were to find out, how would they feel if they knew that you were asking for this?

And the young man said, wow, I never thought about it that way. In the narration then, he says he walked away. He said, when I was walking to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam, there was nothing more dear to my heart than zina. Right? Typical teenage. Right?

And he goes, when I was leaving the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam, there was nothing more hated to my heart than that act. Because the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) put his hand on the chest of the young man. He said, oh Allah, purify his heart. Oh Allah, purify his heart. Oh Allah, purify his heart. Always got positive energy coming out of him.

That situation could have demanded a smack. Right? That situation could have demanded like, get out of here. What are you talking about? But the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) exuded this positive energy.

The Bedouin in the Masjid

You all know about the situation where the Bedouin man came in and peed in the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam's masjid? So imagine we're just in this room right now and some dude walks in and starts peeing in the corner. Right? First of all, what would the reaction be? It would be very similar to what the Sahaba did. The Sahaba were like, excuse me. Right? They were like, man. They were like, first of all, that's not, and they were like about getting ready to tackle the dude. Right?

And so the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says, wait, let him finish. Now this is an ultimate negative situation. Someone is literally relieving themselves in the masjid. I don't know any silver lining you can find from this situation. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says, let him finish.

Then when the man's done, he tells the same companions who are mad, go get some things to clean it up. He doesn't even tell the guy to clean it up. Then he goes to the man and he says, this is the masjid. This is a place of worship. We don't do these, it's not like, we don't do these things here. Please withhold from doing these things here.

The Man Demanding Money

There's another story where a similar situation where a man comes to the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and he says, Ya Rasulullah. He says, I need money. And he asks in front of everybody, I need money. And the Prophet's like, Okay. That's fine. We'll take care of it. All the Sahaba are like so upset. You don't talk to the Prophet like that. Right?

So they're about to like, wrestle with the dude and the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says, hold up, hold up. So he calls the guy inside. He takes him inside. And he says, how much money do you need? And he gives him, you know, a certain amount of money. And the man leaves. The man walks out with the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

He says, I need this much money. He gives it to him. He walks out. And then he walks away. He leaves and the companions say, Ya Rasulullah, why didn't you let us like take care of him? He was being really disrespectful to you.

And the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, he was like a scared animal. And if you guys had jumped on him, you would have scared him away forever from the religion. So I, like a smart person who knows how to deal with scared animals, I took him inside and I handled the situation. Right?

There were times where people, after being treated roughly, when the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam treated them positively, they would make dua, Oh Allah, be happy with me and Muhammad and nobody else. Right? So they would make dua against all the companions in a little subversive way. Because why? Because the companions were like rolling up their sleeves about to do some business. Right?

So it's important to understand to exude that positive energy that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam had.

Check yourself. Look in the mirror. Am I positive? Am I a positive person? Am I always spewing negativity? I'll be real with you and we're going to have to edit this out because the people in my community, but there's a couple people that I know that I work with who are always negative.

And there's times where you and I are negative too. You can't help it. Right? But I'm talking about always negative. Like they could find, you know how there's people who could always find the good in a situation? They find the bad in every situation.

Like there's a box of Krispy Kreme donuts and they're like, I want Dunkin Donuts. And you're like, it's free. He's like, I like paying for my donuts. And you're just like, what?

Then it's like, you know, like for example today, today there's a, it's snowing a lot in Knoxville so all the schools let out early because the roads are going to get crazy. So they let the kids out early. And one of the, it's a snow day. Right? Would you guys be pumped for a snow day? No classes, you get to sleep, Netflix all day. What? Right? You get to sleep all day. You get to watch reruns of Sherlock and Downton Abbey all day. So, sorry that's just me.

So they let out. It's everyone celebrating. Everybody, well like on Twitter it's like someone won the election. Like everyone's celebrating. These same people who are negative, I kid you not, well they go, oh, I studied for an exam all night last night and now we're not even taking it.

What are you talking about? Just be positive for once. Like this person could win the lottery and they would be like, I don't want that much. Right? I don't, even though it's haram obviously, but I don't understand. It takes a special skill to be negative all the time.

And so the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) he had the opposite master where he was just perpetually positive Alayhim Salaam.

3. He Would Always Give People Honor

The third thing, now this is really important especially for socializing. So socializing and being close to people is that he would always give people honor. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said in a hadith,

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

"If someone comes to you who is noble from their people, then honor them."

Then give them that honor and nobility. What's beautiful about this hadith and Shah Wali Allah Ad- Dahlawi Rahimahullah, he comments on this. He says that every person is noble to some group of people.

So for example, a person might not be noble to the entire country, but they're noble to their wife. And so you shouldn't dishonor somebody in front of their family or in front of their spouse or their husband or their kids or their parents. Everybody is honorable to somebody.

So this hadith is beautiful because there's (توسع المعاني - توسع المعاني) There's this wideness in meaning that unless you think about it deeply you wouldn't come up with that. Because when I first quoted the hadith we probably all thought of dignitaries and government positions and it applies for that too. But it's also don't restrict the meaning of the hadith.

The hadith is talking about anybody who has any honor. You know, Salman Al-Farisi (رضي الله عنه - رضي الله عنه) Salman Al-Farisi he had the most beautiful story of conversion. And because of time we can't tell the whole thing today. But Shaykh Abdul Nasir has a really good podcast on it. If you can listen to it on the column recordings it's very good.

But Salman Al-Farisi basically he's the most mukhlis he's the most sincere search of the religion that I think I've ever read in the Sira. Where he basically was like really far away right, he's from Persia and he searched and went through like three different religions to find the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). And he did so on like these little tidbits of information. He never got a message from the Prophet. He never met the Prophet. He never heard from him. He just did so based on people what they said.

And he ended up finding the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). Right? So there was one time where the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) where they were starting to build the masjid. And the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) what he would do was in order to encourage like camaraderie and like teamwork he would make teams.

And based you know at that time you had the muhajirun and the ansar. You had the people who came from Mecca and those who lived in Medina. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) wasn't trying to make a competition of like hatred. Rather he was like look I know that these people they know each other they work well together and the same for the ansar. So these are going to be the two teams. Okay?

What is what makes the place of Salman Al-Farisi? Because he got to Medina before the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) got there right? But he's not from Mecca. He got to Medina before the Prophet got there but he's not from Mecca. So which team does he fall on? Anyone have any ideas? No? Nothing? Okay so what's interesting is that when you guys are playing sports right? Or your sisters are playing sports and you're like picking teams the last person usually feels terrible right?

Because they're like the last person and then it's like you know it's even teams so you're like playing six on six or seven on seven and it's like seven on six and there's that last person and you're like I think our team's good with six we'll be fine like yeah just can you keep score? Okay we might need water or like a towel you know and the person feels terrible because like everyone's trying to avoid literally everyone's trying to avoid picking that person that's why he or she is last.

So Salman Al-Farisi he kind of had this initial feeling at first but Subhanallah look at the character look at the way the Prophet taught these people how he trained them the people from Mecca the Sahaba and the people from Ansar the Sahaba they weren't fighting over who would have to take him they were fighting over who would get him so instead of saying no no no no we're fine we're good you guys take Salman they were like no Salman's ours we want Salman and the other team was like no no no we want Salman so instead of making the person feel unwanted they made him feel immensely wanted but the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) outdid them right so we're talking about what he honored and respected people and Salman by the way was a slave he worked as a slave and so this is someone who inherently in their socio political system did not have honor the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) what

did he do he said no Salman you are from my house Ahlul Bayti you're from my family right so he said you're not from them or them you're with me look I mean like how many of us would love that situation where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) says you're with me you're from my family look at Bilal R.A the person who was literally a slave was tortured who did the Prophet what position did the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) give him in society the Muadhin the person to call Adhan that's the next in line after the Imam then you have another man Abdullah bin Umm Maktum we're going to talk about them later in the week Abdullah bin Umm Maktum you guys know who he is he's a blind old man do you guys know the story of (عَبَسَ وَتَوَلَّى - عَبَسَ وَتَوَلَّى) you guys know the story the story behind it where the man comes to the Prophet the Prophet's talking to Quraish and then he says Ya Rasul and he's asking him like some small Fiqh Mas'ala and the Prophet's like obviously having a very serious conversation with the leaders of Quraish and then he turns the Prophet's kind of like frowns and turns away that's Abdullah bin Umm Maktum who he's doing that to this is a blind man the Prophet's made Abdullah bin Umm Maktum as well the Muadhin and whenever they went on the Ghazwa on the Maghazi whenever they went on the expeditions Abdullah bin Umm Maktum would be the leader of Medina he'd be like the interim president little trivia for you in order to be Muadhin what's the essential function that you have to have huh? what's the second that's good you're right you beat me okay what's the second most essential function that you have to have so a voice but how do you recognize when it's time to pray huh? the sun what do you need in order to recognize where the sun is your eyes so the Prophet's made a blind man a Muadhin even though part and parcel of that job is to have eyesight because you need to see the location of the sun so then you can call the prayer so the Prophet's was making a statement he says I don't care what you guys think of this blind man whether you think he's useless or worthless or whatever I'm going to give him his position even though he's really not fit for it we'll make a way for him we'll make a way you you notice where the sun is tell him when it is so he can call the prayer right? he honored people even when they themselves were not honored by their own people ask yourself do I honor people? when I see people do I give them that honor?

4. He Used to Joke Around

He used to joke around a lot okay and I know a lot of you some of you probably aren't funny but that's okay right we can work on it we can work on it alright at least you can laugh inshallah so he used to joke around the prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - salallahu alayhi wasalam) one time was sitting with the sahaba again point number one he was sitting with the sahaba so we're gonna talk about how he used all these points he was sitting with the people right point number one was what he used to see people a lot he was sitting with the sahaba and they were eating dates they were snacking on some dates right and he was talking to another companion to his right and Omar radiallahu anhu was sitting on his left and as they all finished their dates they had a little pile of date pits in front of them so what Omar did radiallahu anhu was he took his pile of date pits and he put it in front of the prophet when the prophet wasn't looking like he was looking at somebody else but the prophet is not dumb man he's smart and he's the prophet so he was like so he sees the date pits and I think he you know he saw Omar and he probably figured out what was going on so Omar in front of everybody trying to be a jokester he's like ya rasoolallah you must have been really hungry man like you had all those dates dang you must have been hungry right you should have told me

I could have gotten you some food and the prophet says no Omar you must have been even more hungry because you ate your seeds too because he sees no seeds in front of him so he used to joke around like he was very funny he was very humorous

Playing with His Grandchildren

One time there was you know there was there was there was his you know his his grandchildren Hassan and Hussain and they were riding on his back this is the prophet you either saw him delivering the message giving people teaching people or playing with his family right so he was literally on his hands and knees and they were and he was you know he had Hassan and Hussain on his back his grandchildren and subhanallah they people would walk by him and he wouldn't be afraid he wouldn't be embarrassed right imagine your imam or your sheikh or like your favorite speaker and seeing them like in the hallway over here with their kids in the back and like crawling around like rarrr like making noises and you walk by they're like oh get up get up get up sound like yeah the class is this way inshallah right he wasn't like that the prophet said I didn't get up he was like yeah I'm playing with my grandkids what do you want I'm a grandpa like what that's my job that's what I'm supposed to do so he's playing with them on his back and besides being able to tell a joke what do a lot of people lack a lot of people are funny but what happens they're not able to take jokes right so they can make jokes at people's expenses but they're I mean the prophet didn't make it at anyone's expense technically but there's a little bit of a kind of like a little poke but they're not able to take it back right they're like Pillsbury Doughboy like you poked him I'm like hoo hoo like they get really so the prophet someone walks by him I believe it was I believe it was Omar actually I believe it was Omar and he walks by him and he says Ya Rasool Allah he says man they have a good horse right so he's talking about the prophet he's like man your grandkids they have a very nice horse right and the prophet says yeah but they're even better riders and he says and so is their dad Ali right so it's just this beautiful beautiful relationship of being humorous of joking of not taking jokes seriously

The Conditions of Joking

And subhanallah this is very interesting there's a caveat there's a condition there's a protocol that they told the prophet and they said Ya Rasool Allah you joke with us too and he says yes but I always tell the truth and I never hurt anyone's feelings when I do it right now I asked my teacher I asked him I said so what happens like a lot of our jokes are pure exaggeration like a lot of our western postmodern kind of humor is just pure exaggeration my teacher clarified he said as long as everybody knows that it's not serious that it's an exaggeration so for example if I said it took me 7 hours to drive here or it took me 15 hours or 2 days to drive here something so wild that you're like there's no way he's telling the truth that's clearly an exaggeration my teacher said that's okay but if you're lying to somebody in order to make things funnier or in order to deceive them into feeling some way or to scare them right which is unfortunately we do that a lot right like hiding behind doors and stuff in order to scare them maybe not you maybe just me okay watch your way out you might see me behind a door then my teacher said you shouldn't do that because that's lying during joking but if it's a joke where you're like oh my god I'm so hungry I can eat a horse like really you can eat a horse oh my gosh bro even though horse meat is

apparently common in the UK but everyone knows that I'm not being serious then that kind of joking is okay but the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) would never make a joke at the expense of someone's feelings right never ever would he make a joke

The Story of Zahir

There was one time there was a companion by the name of Zahir he was sitting in the marketplace the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) came up behind him and he covered his eyes right and Zahir was like he was kind of shocked he's like who is this and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) announced in a loud voice in the marketplace who wants to buy my slave and that's a very serious by the way that's a very serious thing like to say that in a marketplace is a very serious who wants to buy my servant my slave right and then he uncovers his eyes and he looks up and sees the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) so his fear turns into like just relief and he knows the Prophet was joking and he starts smiling and he says Ya Rasulallah I'm so worthless no one would ever want to buy me right so you could tell maybe he was feeling down he was feeling kind of sad the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) took that negative momentum and turned it into positive what did he say he said in the eyes of Allah you are worth so much more than what these people see right he gave him this sort of like this sakinah in his heart he said don't worry about what people might think of you who cares they're just people it's just dunya what Allah thinks of you is so much more important right

5. He Wouldn't Get Upset Over Petty Matters

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was able to joke around and the last thing I'll say is that he wouldn't get upset over petty matters he wouldn't get upset over small things there was a companion by the name of Numan who he tasted some honey in the marketplace and he had he had this delicious honey and he said man I really want the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to try this honey because the Prophet used to love honey right you guys know the funny story about one time his wives tried to play a joke on him and they said that this honey made your breath smell and he loved honey so he was like heartbroken because he loved honey and they were like it makes your breath stink right because one of the other wives gave it to him anyway so they were playing a joke on him anyway so he loved honey and he was known to have loved honey so Numan he said Ya Rasool Allah he said I have some honey for you but what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) didn't know is that Numan brought a sampling of the honey but didn't pay for it okay so he's like I have some honey for you so the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was like wow what a gift that's so nice so he eats it and he loves it and as he finishes it Numan's like okay that's going to be this much money and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is laughing and he says you didn't pay for it you gave me a gift and I ate it you didn't pay for it and Numan he turned to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and he said I'm so poor Ya Rasool Allah that I couldn't afford it but my love for you was so much that I wanted to give you this gift because I knew you'd love it and it's funny but look at how sweet that is I'm broke okay I'm as broke as a joke but I love you so much as a friend that I wanted to give you this gift because I just knew that you would love it and you loved it so let's pay for it right so it's kind of like that but okay now let's backtrack a little bit okay if that happened to you and I we'd be like man why would you give me something if I have to pay for it now I could have

gotten it myself right I could have ordered it I could have gone there but look at how the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) took the intention the niya the positive intention and he didn't get upset over the small thing what's it going to cost in the end of the day the equivalent of like one pound two pound three pound five pound whatever or quid can I say quid that's cool ten quid right what's it going to cost in the grand scheme of things yeah it might be that it might be your coffee your coffee budget for that day or your lunch meal budget for that day but he didn't get upset over petty things

You know one of the biggest things that happens brothers and sisters in our social groups is friendships are tested and sometimes even broken over the smallest things that then snowball to something bigger and then like it's irreparable at that point right so it started off as like well he untied my shoes no one unties my shoes right not even my mom can untie my shoes it's like he untied your shoes like yeah but then he didn't say sorry no one doesn't say sorry to me and it's like what and he's like yeah and then he didn't hold the door open for me so it's like you're this cumulative snowball when in fact have we just squashed the issue in the beginning that petty issue we wouldn't have had these things right and sometimes it all starts off as a small joke it gets very serious very fast

Conclusion

And so we ask Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala to give us the ability to become socially positive and to become people whose Islam is magnified through their social ability not tainted because often times and this is too true religion is harmed and the view of religion is harmed by people who claim themselves to be religious and so you find that people are often times turned away from Islam by those who claim to be great Muslims and part of the reason why is because they haven't worked on their social character enough to be somebody who's magnetic like the prophet and who has a good vibe a good positive vibe and a good sense of humor so this is very important as much as it is for you guys to seek knowledge as much as it is for you guys to have an Islamic identity to be proud of your fact that you're being Muslim don't ever discount the ability to be socially normative with people and to be somebody who is you know very kind of like approachable

The Story of Shaykh Yahya Rhodus

You guys know Shaykh Yahya Rhodus anybody? so he's in Cambridge he's a famous scholar from America he's a student of Shaykh Hamza Yusuf and some other big scholars he's in Cambridge right now I met with him last night and he wears he studied in Yemen he wears this thing called the Ridat right? and so it's kind of like a lungi you guys know what a lungi is? okay so he wears a lungi for Arabs it's called an Arzad I think we call it an Arzad like the it's like a thing right? I don't know it's a piece of cloth that's tied together at the end so he wears that right? and he was in my my home city of Knoxville or the town that I live in Knoxville, Tennessee and what he did subhanAllah was he went into a subway and this is like in the middle of like bufu country America right? like America right? and he goes in and he's wearing this outfit that's very clearly not American right? and this is in the middle of people who watch like Fox News as like their main source of like Hidayah right? and so you can imagine that this lady her perception of him is like oh my god this terrorist wants to tune the sub like what am I going to do right? so he walks in and

subhanAllah just through his interaction with her because he was born in Kansas City very American heritage his grandparents were born in Kentucky his interaction with her led her to say what to him she said well I may not believe in Islam but y'all are welcome here right? and that's a big deal I'm telling you that's a big deal in America for someone to say you're welcome here in the middle of a country hick town like it's very it's a huge deal why? it wasn't because of his you know he didn't drop like mutoon on her and like he's like oh check this out bam bam bam like tafsir akida this he just treated her nicely his socializing was up to par and he was able to really show her that through his character

So we ask Allah to give us the prophetic character the ability to keep our relationships pure and happy with each other and the ability to socialize the way the prophet(صلى الله عليه وسلم) did ameen rabbil alameen subhanAllah

Closing

"We ask Allah that He accepts (our worship) from us."

"May Allah reward you [with] goodness."

"Glory be to You, O Allah, and all praises are for You; I bear witness that there is no deity except You, I seek Your forgiveness and I repent to You."

"May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you."